Well, believe me when I say, I've never blogged before. I've always been an incredibly private person. I detested the "girly" conversations between peers and I at school. I was good at bullshitting my way through them without overly offending anyone, but I couldn't ever completely open myself. So this blogging is an incredible step for the hermit, as I have become.

I suppose in the first blog entry I should introduce myself and talk about myself a little. Well...now that I've stared blankly at the screen for a few minutes trying to find something worthy of posting I'll admit, I'm usually a person who feels that when saying something it should be valuable. I'm always looking for ways to improve myself. I read at an incredible rate. Anything. Philosophy, psychology, magick, hell..even how to make my own soap from oak ashes and rendered animal fat.

The most I've read at one time happened to be 3 books in one day. I had taken the whole day and devoted it to reading. Clearing one book in time for lunch, another in time for dinner and the other I stayed up late in the night to finish. Like I said. I love to read. And I do it an incredible rate. My great aunt was a lot like me. While her husband was away (he was a navy seal) she would read. Do her chores in the morning and read her book in the afternoon. 5 books a week on average. Her daughter, my cousin, became an author. She writes for the Dragon Lance series (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1560760699/002-6199650-3661610). If you have the time, check her out. Apparently, she's moving from fantasy and planning on writing mystery instead.

I find the knowledge to be of great value. Although, I'm such a passionate person. I may be a person who loves to learn, but I'm an artist first and foremost. The way I interact with the world is through a deep imbeded love that runs through me. I'm sensual.. yes. I've also been subjected to a lot of ugly things in the world, and can still find beauty in it. I'm often surprised when people speak about how terrible the world is. How ugly it's become and evil everything is.

This is the saddest thing I've ever heard. How can you seek to love something without seeing it's good qualities. People seek to purge it of some great evil force that rapes the world, when in all actuallity, it's ignorance and neglect the world has gotten. Yes, I hear it. The "government is evil, they're trying to take our souls away..!!!!"

I agree, our government is run by sniveling childish people, but in no way are they entirely evil. That concept is rediculous. They are misguided, yes. They are truly mean, maybe. But evil? No, I can't say I believe that. I think about the incredible opportunities we have today. How, through countless wars, men fought, died and lived to bring us where we are today. Now, tell me you'd have the balls to look a man who's been there fighting the face of the enemy to give us our freedom that we're punished. You know what he'd say? He'd say, look at the rest of the world, where women are forced to be objects. Where mere people can not vote. Where children die in the streets from malnutrition and neglect and tell me you aren't grateful. He'd also tell you to go back 200 years and tell the average peasant what the future is like. How our streets our paved without the littering of feces and rubish, how healthcare is offered to everyone and isn't built on the backs of arogant theorists, how children are allowed education, how there are laws protecting every man and woman, how there is freedom for everyone, and how the meager peasant can become a rich man. Then tell him it's a terrible life and you wish it was different.

Yes, I actually dislike loud opinionated jerkoffs that only want to find something in the world to protest. The hypocrits who detest the eating of meat and using meat products because of the mistreatment of animals, but make this protest in lambskin coats and 100% leather shoes. I don't respect people like this. They impose their ideas and push you around and back you into a corner with their confusing logic. Asking you questions to make you confused just to have the upper hand. They only seek to get a rise off of you, feeding from your anger.

Here's hypocrosy for you. If the eating of an egg is disgusting because it is the equivalent of someone eating of your fetus, then how come chickens eat there own eggs? Didn't think of that...now did you. I've owned and worked with them. It was common knowledge that if chickens lack calcium, they'll eat their own young.

These protests are built from ignorance. These protests are the rehashed version of someone else's blowhard spats of someone else's rehashed second opinion. It seems nowadays, people don't have their own opinion. They, jump on the bandwagon, so to speak. I've been weak before. I've allowed by opinion to be subjected by others cruel demands. Their views poisoning my own to the point I've been afraid of even thinking for myself. I've broken. I say screw them. I don't care. The one thing I've learned is, if I feel it, it isn't wrong. Truth is, someone else out there feels it too, so in essence I speak for them as well. Valiant? Yes, I guess a little. I've always gotten into scraps for the underdog on the schoolyard. But, I fight for myself first and foremost.

*sighs*

Well, I've been rambling haven't I? I could go on like this. It's purging. So is looking out my window and seeing the sun beating through the tree leaves like pure liquid gold. It's beautiful. It also amazes me that people doubt the existence of god. To me...there's no doubt.