I'm getting to a deeper part of karma now, the sort of things that are established very early on and built up over many small almost inconsequential events. After doing a hour or so chakra meditation to open up my chakras I started a mindfulness meditation and followed my thoughts as they arose. I hit on one that I noticed produced a particular feeling both physical and emotional. I'll not go into it because it contains the singular risk of turning this blog into mopey teenage poetry. After I studied the thought and the feeling for sometime and it was hard to absorb it has been with me for so long it connects to a lot of other things. It is taking a while to work though and even though the effects are not nearly as potent as my early karma it is more poignant and my mood suffered for a few days.

As I work though this bit of my karma I am very emotionally vulnerable and EVERY little thing is more bothersome or upsetting than before. Someone knocks in to my chair and I have to remind myself it was not purposeful. The normal dissociative behavior of people I work with and the disingenuous behavior of others hurts like a personal insult. Several days latter I have either gotten more sensitive generally or it is just because of the Karma, because even being around people who are angry feels like their emotions are washing over me. That cave in the mountains is looking better by the day.