Something I've been noting for a while now, which has been giving me concern - every time I have a relatively large need to eat (as in, I've forgotten to eat for too long), I feel short of breath. Not sure if that's a chakra crossover or what.

Anywho, life in the new house is going well. Still working on the government giving me cash, but it'll come through. Uni started up again as well, which is good. Thinking of restarting my aikido training, but that would mean that mondays and wednesdays I'd be there until 9pm, and getting home would be hellish.

I've moved out of my old room at my parent's place and am temporarily living with about 7 friends. Notably this house has had someone murdered in it. It's as nice and cosy as any place where people have died, albeit cold in the mornings.

Yesterday I spent a while doing th "evil eye" exercises of Liber MMM. Managed to keep at it for about 20 minutes or so. I've noticed it's fairly difficult to prevent perceptual blurring (brain slipping away from what you're looking at), however, the effects were quite remarkable. Apart from getting a quick glimpse of an object's position on the other side of the wall, I also managed to grey out everything for a brief period, as well as greying out everything bar the thing on the wall I was staring at. Was rather difficult to maintain.

Also, I'm planning on obtaining an orange and a blue sunstone (orange for right hand, blue for left) once I have a functioning income.

Never stay awake for 89 and a half hours straight, unless you have a proper eating regimen to accompany it, and you don't mind some slightly disturbing after effects. That was the final tally - more than three and a half days.

Apparently I didn't actually eat much during that period (didn't think I was hungry, so whenever I got a stomach cramp, I just had a large swig of juice), so I seem to have lost a kilo or two and my body has since been telling me that it needs a lot more food intake - so definitely unhealthy. And as a result, I'm fairly drained... energetically aware, but drained. Fubared my solar plexus-heart chakra pair too I think; solar plexus in particular seemed to take a major beating, and has a lot of issues with the amount of food I take in.

No big energy works for me in the immediate future.

The other problem is I seem to have actually damaged by perceptual systems Large expanses of solid colour (like walls with equal lighting) seem to mostly register as having potentially unlimited depth, and if they're large enough, seem to have no distance from me. And my monocular depth cues seem to not be counteracted by binocular ones - so if I'm lying on the floor such that the wall behind me is in the top of my vision, and the one in front is at the bottom, and the ceiling separates them, the bottom one will appear shorter and the ceiling slanted.

But apart from that I'm doing reasonably well. I think I need to definitely consider an alternative medication though.

I've been awake for about 53 and a half straight hours now, and I've discovered two things.

The dexamphetamines do influence the ease with which certain chakras flow - specifically my crown chakra for some reason.

However, rather than my usual clarity, I've noticed a shitload of astral static for some reason. Those weird spider things and some weird tendril/web/mist things that I haven't come across before. They're all over the place, and seem to occupy more physical space than their size should allow... or that the space around them can fit... or something.

I've also noticed that they're really useful at keeping me awake, so I've had a lot of free time to practice my coding skills on the Half-Life Source engine, and play around with crazy art.

Well it appears my system is improving back to energy-spike levels.

Of all my chakras, my third eye is the one that normally seems to get the most energy, so it's hardly surprising that my post-energy spike system is perceptually enhanced. During the high period, I was capable of seeing the refresh rate on my phone's LCD screen, which I maintain should be impossible.

The ability to see monitor flicker at 120 hertz is relatively uncommon. In fact, I'm going to have to quote wikipedia here:

Most people find that refresh rates of 70-80 Hz and above enable flicker-free viewing on CRTs. Refresh rates above 120 Hz are uncommon, as they provide no noticeable flicker reduction.

And this little point of information from howtofixcomputers.com:
Somewhere in the 80-85 Hz range, you've hit the point where over 95% of the population can no longer detect flicker under typical monitor viewing conditions.

I'm worried that in my attempt to avoid visual irritation I may blow up my monitor. It's currently set to 150 Hz and I'm getting a very light touch of flicker.

The total experience lasted 3 days. It felt fantastic, but my body also started deteriorating (I overdosed on dexamphetamines during the period too, so I'm perfectly willing to say that was why).

I'm near certain that rather than having energy go up the heaven line, it was coming down and flowing out into the earth... which I've yet to hear of anywhere else.

Now I'm just pissed, because it feels like it was revoked.

... or at least, not any time soon.

A few weird thoughts. This isn't kundalini, since that's you raising your base energy up the heaven line to reach God. This was more like God reaching down the heaven line to touch me, since it started at my crown and worked down... and only seems to have lit up 5 chakras.

Oh, and there are definite physical changes. I have rather more decent pecs for some odd reason. My pupils seem to react more to distance than to light, which is strange. I don't seem to be getting hungry anymore, so much as empty, which is weird. I think I might also move faster, but I'm not sure.

Oh yeah, and as I suspected from the deformed way my heart chakra blossomed, it's not quite functioning properly, and as a result, it's causing me some physical discomfort (like there's an extra solid object in the chest cavity, interfering with my ability to breath). If anyone has any suggestions - give them please.

Apparently I also seem different to other people - apparently I seem much kinder and more interested, and more like my heart's in everything. But I don't think I'm actually doing anything different.

Well, it appears to have faded down now, although I'm still feeling some after effects.

I was wondering why my eyes felt odd. They're rather unshakeably dilated (the irises are sitting at about 2mm width from pupil to edge, while the pupils are over a centimetre wide - it looks rather scary and unnatural up close).

The minor headache I got from my crown chakra going all weird is sort of down to a small twinge now.

And all four chakras are still open, just not so strong that the chains between them feel like I'm actually wearing jewellery (the crown-to-third-eye chain actually felt like it was some sort of hanging pendant, coming down over my forehead and resting on the third eye). Apparently I can amp them up if I try too... but I really feel like getting some sleep now, since I kind of need to recover from the mere two hours I had last night.

Edit: Except that it's damn hard to sleep when you have 4 to 5 chakras buzzing.

Referring back to what I just said about the depressing conversation on the state of the world:

Have you ever felt that there was something you had to do? Not quite that you're duty bound or even want to do it (because it might not be easy, and could even be very painful), but rather that it's something so important that if it doesn't get done, your heart will break?

That's politics for me. Hence why when my heart chakra did its deformed blossom, I instantly started feeling like the world's injustice had hurled a javelin through my chest. It doesn't matter that I might lose the possibility of a cosy life, it doesn't matter that it could even lead to my own self-sacrifice and ruin, I have to do something to try and change it. I might not even have an effect, but if I don't do it, then I couldn't live with myself.

So that's why, even though it causes me physical pain or nausea now, I will still wade into the problem issues - and I will come out the other side and keep going.

I started off the day feeling slightly woozy (certain thoughts would bring a small pain to my heart chakra - still open and bleeding energy). As the day progressed, I slowly kept feeling more and more tired and wobbly as I kept leaking energy, experienced inexplicable pins and needles in both hands which moved from one side of each hand to the other depending on whether it was above or below heart level (blood supply had not been interfered with, and in fact, I could feel my blood more so than normal), a sensation of rather low blood pressure, nausea (and heart/solar plexus twinges) stemming directly from a rather depressing discussion on world politics and what we're doing to ourselves (I'll talk about that next post)... and then I got to my Politics and Democracy lecture.

During P&D, I noticed something really weird. It began with my heart and solar plexus binding together sort of. Kind of like a chain between the two. Then I had a sensation I can only describe as like being given a head massage by something with massive claws - not painful, just weird... and then my crown chakra chained to my third eye! Even further, it's like there's a chain extending down the back of my head from the crown chakra to the base of my skull too. The "clawed massage" sensation has been going continuously for about maybe an hour and a half now, and is sort of pouring down from my crown chakra and covering the top of my head, my cheeks, the back of my head, and around my third eye.

Even further, my third eye is almost visible to me in my reflection. An eye shaped darkness that isn't quite there. Crazier than this, apparently my ability to sense other people's presences when I focus has skyrocketted. Sitting in the bus on the way home, people's auras felt like human-sized fires rather than the usual body-warmth and directional pressure.

I have no idea what's going on, but it feels cool. If anyone can explain it though, I'd be very appreciative.