Hello everyone, I live with my parents (since im but a teenager) and I'm keeping all my practices and beliefs in magick a secret from my parents because they are very skeptical to things such as that and they would think Im crazy if they knew half of the magick I know/practice. Does anyone else keep their practices a secret from friends/family or am I the lone ranger? Any advice on holding secretive rituals/ getting required materials without anyone knowing? Am I doing the right/wrong thing?

Please note that it is highly likely if my parents found out what I do they would make me stop (IMG:style_emoticons/default/fie.gif)

Yep, I do too.

Infact, hehe.. Im married and (obviously) and adult, but I keep it
a secret from my wifey-poo, and also my parents.

Some things they do know, like that I practise martial arts, but the spiritual
side I only share with people who are into those kinds of things.

Some day I might tell my darling lil wify, but not yet.
She thinks im weird enough already! hehe (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sculacciata.gif)

Haha Im glad I dont stand alone! I also take a martial art but one that isn't very spiritual ( a modern TaeKwonDo.) < which i may add im pretty good at! But anyway may I ask how you perform rituals without your wife noticing?

My family knows everything I practice, they have for about 8 years now. But when I told them in the beginning, it wasn't too easy of a situation, for they too, where incrediably sceptical about it, and thought I was "just going through a phase". But after 7 years of being incrediably persistant, they finally understood that this was who I am. Now I get asked about spells and such, which is kinda nice. Mind you, my parents are alot more liberal than most I know, so that made it a little easier.

If you feel comfortable telling them, keep in mind, patience and persistence will come in Very handy.

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif) Greetings!

When I first made the concerted effort to partake in a 'pathworking' and development group ... which was nearly 16 years ago when I was 24 ... my parents; the best part of my family; work colleagues and long standing friends were ALL against me being in the group. I was subjected to threats and blackmails from family and work colleagues to give it all up. Family threatened to disown me at one time as they were convinced I was dealing with black magic. My boss at work threatened to sack me and my immediate boss (who was methodist) went as far as going to see my parents and convince them I needed serious help! I lost my best friends too (long story) ....

BUT I STUCK AT IT ..... I developed/remembered/practised in secret then ... making new friends ... my firm going bust (ha .. nice spell) .... and my family eventually realising the benefits of me coming to terms with the 'strangeness' of my personality ...

Now sixteen years later ... I am married to a wonderful woman (no seriously) who thinks that magic is giving her tarot and rune readings on demand. She comments to the friends and anyone who listens how 'deep my hubbie goes' and how good he is at clairvoyance ...

When I point out that tarot readings are but a minor part of it all and a 'titbit' along the road ... she clams up and blames my magickal workings for our lack of wealth. She keeps demanding I get the lotto numbers so we can be millionaires ... she ridicules me for not wanting fame (I have turned down TV appearances; trailer demo shows; newspaper interviews) .... I call myself the 'reluctant medium' wishing to be in obscurity ...

My appearance on this forum and others is a bone of contention with her ... she is on an ex-pats forum on the net for hours upon hours which is ok but I go on here for more than an hour and it is grief ...

Much therefore of my workings through semantic writings; meditations; illustrations; sigils is done in private and in secret ....

It has been the case for the best part of my life ....

I personally prefer the lone magickian side to it .... I work best that way ...

Most of my work takes place like now .... between 10 pm and midnight .... when wife and kids are asleep ... I will go to bed after the wife and spend an hour in a meditation before sleeping ... Okay I have double the protection and barriers to create to prevent my very psychic wife coming on the journeys ... but it works ...

I password all my journals and volumes of semantic verses (white grimoires) ...

So all I do is in secret effectively ....!!!

I thus find it hard to share info at times on this forum ... and get all kinds of grief for not putting info in the right way or bursting in on a thread .... I am a solitary being and it is hard to be with folk of the same ilk!!

Ha

This post has been edited by Mr_Merlin: Jul 9 2005, 04:23 AM

I live in a smallish town so I can escape for a latenight walk into the woods
on various special occasions of signifigance. Other times I will do my work
when I know the house will be empty for a few hours.

We both like candles and insence so when she comes home and the house
smells like insence it doesnt rouse any suspicion.

Also, since she is a buddhist (she was born in china) she does meditations, so I can
join her on these sometimes, and sometime I can use them as cover to practise
my own arts.

To be honest, I think its only a matter of time before I tell her, but Im not
going to rush it, maybe a few months, maybe a few years.. I will know when
the time is right. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/egypt1.gif)

I don't like to call it "secrecy," but I use a certain degree of Discretion when it comes to occult and spiritual practices. If directly asked, I'm pretty open, but I don't volunteer much. My family and friends know I'm a pagan, and sometimes i join my friends in a ritual. However, the few rituals I do on my own are in secret.

There are some aspects of my beliefs that, so far, I only share online, for instance therianthropy. And few people are aware of the relationship I have with my personal diety.

I practice in secret also.
My room is always locked, only my closest and true friends are allowed inside my room, i found them to not really care much about my religion, they still see me as the same friend. A few friends have shown a slight interest, but they are not prepared to go the long ways i go.

My parents and family do not know, and i would like to keep it that way.

My nephew, 3 years old came over to play some games on my playstation, and my full ritual setting and candles was placed around when he came knocking on my door. He asked me what my tarot deck was, which was still laid out from a reading.
I told him it was for a special kind of card game. He asked me to play it, then i asked him to play lord of the rings, which he found more interesting, lol.
Bless those small children, they don't judge.

I don't think my family has a clue. I recently even had a conversation with the local pastor. An old man, he has this holy vibe around him, i always liked the man. Which is convenient because it erases any suspicion, surely someone who like the pastor could not be studying the occult. lol

Anyway, practising in secret can be a drag, my room is becomming to small for my practises, and i would like a dedicated temple. The good thing is, when building a house i will make sure the architect draws me up a round temple room, with 10 pillars. a big double cube altar, and 4 smaller ones for the elements.

I have many storys on how people found out.

I may do some visualising or energy maniulation, or just fixate with someone and incidentially they feel my powers.

Sigh ... then there are constant theories and thereom I explore ... which nobody gets to know until I have a working platform ....

I'm immersed in a something now ... and its strange that I've had a PM from a member ... it's going to be maybe the first time I will share one of my theoreoms

Yep, I do the hidey-hidey. My old man knows ((IMG:style_emoticons/default/black eye.gif), unfortunately), my fiance knows, some of my friends know. My co-workers, strangers, and the rest of the family don't know. I don't proudly throw my beliefs and practices in everyone's faces... here, that would get Christian protestors in my yard, throwing holy water on my door. So, I keep the occult books in the quiet solitude of my bedroom. The only way you'd suspect me to be an occultist by walking into my house were if you thought roleplaying and video games were the claws of Satan, or something stupid like that. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif)

I'm getting a lockable cabinet for my future studies and grimoire collection... it's one thing to have a friend sneak in your room and scoff at your library ("You and your weird hobbies!", for example), but it's an entirely different story for them to be pouring through your own writings, and calling the men in white coats because they discover you're into alternate realities (For your own "good", you know (IMG:style_emoticons/default/8.gif) ).

I like everything about you (MM)!

I myself don't read books to start my mind into subjects that I have no clue of, I have a gift where I come up with constant universal wisdom of super consciousness, and also small minded theory's as an aid to understanding others.

I don't care if people deny my expressions, theory's or tandrum, for it's something and all perceptions are valued when seeking enligthenment.

God is being, and better being than nothing.

good or evil, they both enjoy doing it, the evil is no exception, evil enjoys.

yeah, the small minded people should be ashamed that we have to keep it a secret.

perhaps i should get a closed bookcase for my books, but i find it handy to let people know about it without me advertising it.
To people that obviously do not agree i just tell it is interesting, but that i don't really believe it.

I cannot stand to hide it from people that are really important to me. My mom knows i follow some other religion, some clever reasoning on my part even stopped her from being a devout Christian.
It is always wise to study the teachings of a religion that is against you, i can trow quotes from the bible at any Christian, and i can destroy the credibility of the Christian church just enough to put my own credibility above it.

Beside, my mom is a little afraid of me. She knows somehow i have this strange strength. And power is often feared, especially power that she cannot understand. Lucky for her i am a very friendly and kind hearted person.

I've never really gone out of my way to let people know what I'm into. As a kid, people from school found out and I was tortured for it...but then back in the 50's Magic spelled Satanism to most. I've been mugged and literally 'stoned' by ignorant, small minded people. I decided that unless I was with others of my beliefs then mums the word... I think that the use of discretion about ones private life should be the way to go. It depends on the situation. At the work place is not the proper forum for disclosure...IMHO! We must all do what we need to do to maximize our comfort level. It could save your life. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/7.gif)

Yes, it is a fine line.

We all need compainionship, so to close yourself off from everyone would
be damaging to your mental and emotional health.

Yet, due to our um... predispositions.. *ahem* sometimes it is better
to have a somewhat private life.

Just remember not to cloister yourself away too much and too often, or
you'll end up going coo-coo for coa-coa puffs (IMG:style_emoticons/default/13.gif)

I used to show my happiness about some new occult books or thoughts that passed through my mind to my boyfriend...and he still thinks that I am crazy, and the worst part is that he makes fun of Aleister Crowley! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/cry_.gif) I find this outrageous...Anyway, I keep total secret now, and he still bugs me with questions like "How is my little magick girl today?"...
So, I just keep my business for me only...and this forum, sometimes, and that's it. If somebody looks interested in this subjects, probably I'll share some ideas with them, and I think it is enough,and if not, I'll just pretend to be interested in make-up and politics, like they are. I think it's the correct way.

I havent shown my family my large interest in magic, although they know I think its cool, all the books, scrolls etc are kept hidden (IMG:style_emoticons/default/angel.gif)

Hell, I'm 23..married..and still keep my practices secret. Though I don't have to from my husband since he shares my beliefs, and actually has me help him out a bit in that area. My mother on the other hand was always very open to things like this. So I didn't have to hide anything from her. She would have me work magick for her and read tarot (A LOT!). She had me read so much that I gave her, her own deck to use so we could barter. I'd read for her, if she read for me. I could read for myself, but I thought that it would help limit her need for readings if she knew she had to work for it. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

But, now she's getting married to a man who's a pastor. So, I've really gotta keep my practices on the hush hush. He's a very spiritual person, but NOT open to things of this subject. I've tried, and his first response is "I'm not interested in Devil worship". So, I have to wait until my children are of suitable age to even teach them, that way they know WHY they can't tell grandpa about magick and such. Hehe.

There's nothing wrong with keeping your practices secret. It's one thing we do best. To know, To will, To dare and To keep SILENT.
It's a good thing to practice and comes in handy. There's nothing more annoying in the occult world than a practitioner who blabs about his workings. That, and keeping silent actually helps your work...so think of this as a great lesson for you to learn on keeping secrets..specially from those closest to you. That way, when you DO tell someone, it'll mean that much more, and also you're not inclined to shout it from the rooftops or to any "pagan poser" who saunters by.

There's many ways you can practice in secret without letting your parents in on it. Such as, doing ALL practices in your room. Waiting until they're asleep. Honestly..this may sound funny but it's good advice, if you REALLY want to hide magickal paraphinalia look up some websites that sell marijuana accessories. They have some very ingenious devices made specifically to hide ..things. Such as, a coke can that has a opening on the bottom. On thinkgeek.com they have a safe you can install into the wall that looks like an ordinary light socket. These are just simple ones. If you don't have the money or don't want to explain to your parents why your recieving things like that in the mail, stashing them in a corner of your closet works well too. Or, out in the open as decorative objects. Just make sure they're out of reach of anyone who's likely to pick them up and touch them. (This is were an invisibility spell or protection spell to deter people from noticing or picking up the object comes in handy)

The best advice I can give you is to work small now with your stuff. Keep it minimal until you move out. You can frequent garage sales and flea markets for magickal stuff if you don't want your parents to know. Specially if they're the type that always asks "Well..WHY do you need that..?" or "What you gonna do with it" and then you tell them and of course it's replied with the ever despised skeptical eye roll.
And they either say, "you don't NEED that" or "Aren't you a little too old for that shit?"

Truth is, people have done more to diminish ones magick with a sneer than has ever been accomplished with a stake. At least after the burning we still practiced, but just became darn good at hiding it. With the skepticism it's completely deflating your self esteem and magickal power.

If your parents are also the type to clean your room for you while you're at school, and you're afraid of them discovering your secret stash of books and herbs then there's a simple remedy. Keep your room clean. It's not only good practice in discipline, it's good practice in the occult. There's a lot of mischievous entities that LOVE messy and disarayed rooms, and if you keep it clean you'll avoid attracting them. (which is great since your room will essentially be your working area). And, with a clean area, you'll attract good spirits to your area. Notice than whenever you clean your room it not only feels good but also feels lighter than the dark heavy feeling of a messy room.

You could always work some magick to help your parents become a little more open as well. Make sure not to go against their will and force them to do something..but just to drop that skepticism and become a little bit more open minded. Be sure to specify that you don't want the spell to reverse upon you. My husband had done one on our landlord when we moved out (she wasn't happy that we were moving and claimed we were pulling a fast one on her and made some off colour comments to us). The spell worked fine, but he ended up with a terrible rash on his feet, I and my daughter got sick all on the same day. So, word to the wise, cover your rear.

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

Hope that helps a bit.

This post has been edited by Angalor: Jul 12 2006, 11:05 AM

I'm still in High School, and you know how people are when someone is different. So I've only told one person. and she expeiriences the paranormal all the time so she doesn't care.

Also, my dad is an anglican minister, but i'm not sure if he would mind, because as of today, the only thing i've yet to preform is the LBRP, which involves christian beleifs...
Either way, Secret.

Nice to know i'm not alone:P

There is another totally unrelated reason to keep one's craft a secret - signal to noise ratio. WHenever you do magick, that magick is open to the effects of any other energy which can be aimed at it. If someone else knows that you're doing magick, and thinks you're crazy for it, there is a causal link between their opinion, through whatever relationship they have to you (it's actually those people who love you most who can potentially be the most trouble here!) and your magick, which can make it work for the worse.

I myself let both of my companions know the basics of what i'm studying at the moment, and they know that I do regular magick for one thing or another, that I protect our home and our interests... beyond that they aren't really interested, but they are careful to monitor their feelings and thoughts on the matter, that they will have nothing but a positive influence on my work.

If you do feel that you must expose someone to that aspect of yourself, you best come to understanding the rational side of what you're doing. It doesn't take much to explain magick in a rational fashion, just a great deal of thought, and perhaps an appreciation for Rationality and Reason conceptually... I think many practitioners abandon reason all together, as some kind of antiquated human function. But, the problem isn't contemporary reason itself, it is how reason is employed for understanding. Magick is natural, and most people will realize and accept that when we explain to them How it works for everyone and why.

It's when people go about claiming to be an all powerful magician that people will question your sanity. I have never said the words, outloud, to anyone "I do Magick." Because that sentence will instantly turn most people off. Saying something along the lines of, "Well, I think that the mind is a powerful thing, and I've had some unique experiences that defy conventional reason." Makes the person hearing it realize - partially by using more words, which for most people is the significator for reason in another's line of thought - that there is something of interest in your head. THe longer you can go without saying 'magick', 'spell', 'ward' or anything of that nature, the better. I have never had a conversation like that that didn't end with the other person beginning to accept the reality of magick.

My family are all very conservative, but my siblings wanted to know more about my views on spirituality when they were questioning themselves, and those conversations lead eventually to discussion of our impact on the universe, and ultimately magick.

Years later, my mother, who once kicked me out for doing 'black magick' years and years ago, now regularly asks for readings, and even asked if there was anything I could do about her business' slow period. She's even given my e-mail address to friends of hers who she's told "My son has a gift for advice." So I do magick, then give some advice that will help the other person - who did ask for my help - attract the benefits of that magick, and there you have it: middle aged, methodist and babtist southern women, all taking help from a 'family' mage. It's a source of much amusement for me...

Even so, all of my work itself is kept completely secret, as far as intentions, rituals, etc. That way, i'm the only one influencing the direction of my energy, no one else inadvertantly putting their two cents into it.

peace

My parents and siblings know that I've done martial arts for years, but tend to think that I'm out to lunch when I talk about energy work. For business purposes I'm 'in the closet' as far as anything smacking of witchery. But my son and my closer friends know. Most of my friends are into martial arts and qigong/ energy work. Generally these friends see witchcraft and spellwork as another form of energy work. I'm a member of a coven and have connections within the local wiccan community. Personally I don't feel isolated becauuse of this, but secrets are always wearing on some levels.

I've always been intrested ever since i was in 6th grade I started reading occult books, when family found out they thought i was crazy and evil.... They even convinced me. Also lots of kids thought I was real weird (12 years of catholic school). It wasn't till recently that I have been practicing and studying on a daily basis. I learned to be quite. But soon as im living without any family type members I plan on the temple set up ect...

Bah! Parents can be the worst downfall to anyones calling. My mother just didn't have anything to really believe in so she allowed me to do as I pleased. She claimed my father was an Atheist and thus why he forbade my brother and I to be baptized. *shrugs* All I know now is my soon to be step-father is a pastor and won't let the subject drop. I'm sure if he found out about my practices he'd be over at my house every day trying to convince me I'm the devil. But silly thing is, more people have died in blood letting over the bible than have over ANY occult book.

Amen to that, the only people who understand the occult seem to be the people invoved in someway with it.

ya society usually views anything occultish as evil, or satanistic. The thing is they dont understand anything about it; they cant burn at the stake anymore so they scoff at it and those who practice it, or show any knowledge or interest in it (IMG:style_emoticons/default/mf_popeanim.gif)

I have been reading and reading and reading!!!!!!!! The biggest thing that I have read in all the books is that our power is best when we keep it to ourselves and not tell any one. I know my husband is looking at me like I a playing a game. I let him think it. There is no harm or fowl in what we do and if they don't want to know that is their loss and I truly believe that. What I have experienced and seen in my short life wow. They are missing out on some really cool stuff. Even though things have happen to my husband when he was young he still doesn't believe he says it was just a childs imagination. I tried to tell him no children are more open to seeing things and feeling things but instead of arguing I let him go on with is thoughts. I enjoy what I do. I enjoy the people I have met. No Harm No Fowl.

I totally agree with you Vagrant Dreamer. I never tell anyone the details of my magickal work:

a) Until I know that I am unlikely to be repeating that particular working
b) Until the outcome has been achieved
c) Until a good passage of time has elapsed
d) If the Tarot suggests I shouldn’t
e) If the person asking may have an investment in the working – positive or negative
f) If someone seems way too interested, their energy will then be an interference
g) Because it may be for someone else and I would prefer to ask their permission first.

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/bunnyjump.gif)

I have been married for just over 4 years now, and this month I've begun to slowy let my wife in on my beliefs. I have typically hidden behind the tag line of "I'm spiritual, but not religious" when matters such as this arise. But lately, I've been letting more and more of myself out, though the reactions are what I feared...At work, I hide my pentacle under my shirt, so as not to upset the mostly Christian workstaff. Also, I do not wish to answer the same questions over and over, like "isn't that star what devil worshippers wear". After many years on this path, I have found that it really serves no purpose to share your beliefs with those who will not see. But do try to find likeminded individuals to discuss this with, as keeping to yourself can make you bitter and isolated.