OK! well, this being my first actual post of any real material, I will try to start it off cool, if I can. Story time! Here goes:

So basically, I start out learning what I can....

...Ok. No problem.

I start experimenting with magicks and esoterica....

...Ok. Fine.

Once I gain momentum, I have a hard time slowing down...

...Wait, what?

In the heyday of my spiritual development, I was able to make psi-balls, change traffic lights, and cause astral-temporal distortions. Even so, there was one ominous factor in all this: I could never willfully astral project, no matter how powerful I got. I never really minded it until now. It turned out to be an omen of how healthy my spirit was at the time. So, how did I accomplish all that in such a short period of time? Long story short, I approached metaphysics, spirituality, magick, etc. with an Isshinryu*1 type of approach...

*1 Isshinryu is a martial art where instead of making an obvious defense, one defends themselves by routing the opponent's offensive by attacking their offensive rather than the opponent themself, in essence negating the attack.

... and basically ending up having a decent amount of time where I blew off the idea of grounding and shielding, and actually doing pretty well without it until I stepped on too many toes and the Karmic Bureau of Bounty Hunters were on my ass. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/butcher.gif) Yeah, I didn;t ahve to defend, when i could just negate any oppositions...until that happened.

One experience after another, my world came tumbling down. No more perfect speech patterns. No more dipping into latent past life memories for languages. No more pursuasion. No more healing others. No more counseling for trauma in friends. I was left off in a spiritual state something to the idea of someone with an intermediate to very advanced level of gnostic awareness with the spiritual vulnerability of a televangelist. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sculacciata.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/baby.gif) ...Not a pretty picture. It was pretty hard to endure, and I learned something from the esoteric path of the "School of Hard knocks."

Well, it's nothing THAT bad. Maybe I exxagerated what I went through a bit too much. Either way, it was pretty damn ugly. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/uglyhammer.gif) Hey! At least I still kept my knowledge, and I am still writing magick and other theories to this day. Ideas are still flowing, So I was not cut off, but at the same time I have no way to really describe it.

Now, how do I describe the next part? Well...



So basically, what to do if a circuit gets fried, you try to replace the parts, but there is still live energy flowing through it, pretty much almost the same amount that fried it in the first place? Like, (ok I dont know what kinds of standards they come in, so I will make one up) say that a small capacitor is blown, the resistors are melted, and the insulation is stripped, and there is still live energy? What is needed is a large capacitor, stronger resistors, stronger insulation, and generally a wider width to the current, right? So what's standard? Figure out a way to isolate the part away from energy so one can make the parts switch, fasten the parts, sodder them in if needed, and then release it from isolation, right?

Now comes the hard part.

So say my spirit after all my experiences, due to lack of rooting and shielding, has left me like a fried circuit? How do I replace the parts I need, but still avoid a total meltdown from so much damn ambient energy that I accumulated overtime? Some things and possibilities to consider:

1. This may not be the case. I could just be thinking too much.
2. try to find a hobby in contrast to using everyday spirit energies to work all the time.
3. Stop bad habits like smoking (mild psionic scrambling) and excessive masturbation (tantric release) to regulate energies and to keep the "live energy" from spilling out and then totally messing me up.
4. I need to find out how to properly shield, now that after so much time, rooting has finally been novicely grasped!

If my story or manner of speech confuses you, I severely apologize. I find it to be somewhat of a side effect of an improper approach, crash, and recovery from my incident(s) as mentioned above.

OR

Even shorter story, I pulled an Icarus, and above are the details. Any help based on all of this?

Any feedback, input, etc. is greatly appreciated.

This post has been edited by WyrdScience: Dec 28 2006, 02:08 PM

I once went through a similar experience. It was after I had pushed myself too hard to attain massive amounts of power, and I found myself constantly blacking out. I couldn't handle it all. On top of that, two days after my mother had died, I went back to school, and a good friend of mine kept telling me about his bad day and how I didn't even understand his pain. Only, when I told him my mom had died, he didn't believe me, and told me to stop joking about that because it wasn't funny. Then... He just kept saying "Your mom" to agitate me. "That's what your mom said". "Not funny, shut up or I will not be able to control myself."

Now, when I get angry, my friends start getting nervous. Not entirely sure why, but most people in high school thought I was prone to psychopathic rages. I don't really recall any such events. Until then. The energy just leapt into my veins and I catapulted myself up and over two cafeteria benches, slammed him into a pillar and began to beat the living hell out of him. So I'm told. I blacked out, truth be told. But my brother, now a specialist second class in the army, around 6'5, 300 pounds of muscle; my best friend Jason, around 250 pounds, 5'11", and my friend Nick, a giant of a man, around 6'9", 325 pounds, about half muscle, all had to struggle to pull me away from him. This is what my very rattled friend tells me after the fact, the one that hardly speaks. Apparently I scared the crap out of everyone in the cafeteria, and the principal was about ready to call the cops when I "woke up".

After that, I figured the only real way to deal with so much pent-up emotion and angst-ridden energy, since it was all negative, was to basically set up an ambient bleed in myself. I took a good look at where most of my energy was, and went a couple feet down, and sliced a razor-thin gash in my aura/protective field. After about a month, I was fine. It's worth noting that if I hadn't set up a slow bleed like I did, I probably would have had a panic attack or something, as the sudden release of all that keeps you alive and running is not so happy. And to this day, I think about that and I hold myself back from getting so angry. It's a scary thought... I almost killed him. I apparently punched him in the throat a couple times, too. And, needless to say, he doesn't call me anymore.

My advice is to look at yourself, analyze the options, and think of what the best detour would be. For instance, in your example, sometimes the best way to get around such a conundrum is to totally break the circuit. Remove the whole board from its power, not just the capacitors or the insulators. After all, broken capacitors will hold electricity for a good six hours in a VCR alone. Enough to seriously shock the crap out of you, if you're not careful. I would know.

When you apply too much physical pressure to a bone it will fracture. Voltage can be described as electrical pressure. Fuses are designed to fracture when too much voltage (hence current) flows through them to protect the rest of the electrical circuit.

To repair these in both cases we release the failing parts of any stress; to replace a fuse this means to first turn the electricity off; to allow our broken bone to fuse together and become operable once more we release it of any stress via a sling, cast, or wooden stake.

If we don't have a fusebox (defence) between our power supply and the electric circuit within our homes, when there's a power-surge we may find that our delicate electrical equipment has been short-circuited!

Appropriately noted. Any source of shielding advice?

Also.....(the moment i come up with a question, i get interrupted and I forget my question) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/angry_pissed_off_emoticon.gif)

*replacement question*

Seeing as how the generation of the sheild would require energy (energy which could fry my "circuit"), would it be wise, for safety, to have an adept/master from the outside sheild me?

Any further input for my situation?

So many possibilities for this. First and most important i would have to say go back to basics. Simple no bs practices of meditation and chakra studies. Keep all your knowledge from interfering and just act like your a total noob. If by chance you are a dreamer you may be able to recover lost energy or find the source of this problem.

I think to an extent you are thinking to much. Maybe you have blocked these abilities with mental attitude. Maybe there is a big hunk of ego there in the way of something.
Maybe you need a direct meditation on the issue. Focus on the problem find your higher self and just let the infomation flow....
Masturbation plays a huge roll in energy. But the thing is if you read the seven laws of phychic energy you will find that all energy you use returns to you. And although masterbation may hinder you from moment to moment it has no long term affect. Hmmmm unless your some freak that just does this five six time every day? lol
Ok than it could be a problem....
If you believe a bad habit interferes than it will. Otherwise if you have always smoked and never had problems. It is unlikely to change.

Start over with something you did in the past. seeing auras, telekenisis, whatever and act like you know nothing continue to learn new things and see where that takes you.

Maybe you need NEW the old has become stagnant and no longer affects you the way it did. I see this often with astral projection. Your mind adepts to what you have always done and it begins to overcome the "strategies" you used in the past.

1. I would first relax in both mind and body! This includes a warm bath and massage (if you or your partner has never massaged your body before you'll be amazed at how much tension you may have in your muscles - this includes your face). I would perform a similar operation upon my mind - i.e. to still my thoughts through meditation. Ingest or smoke any substances which may aid you in this if you use them often. Get a good nights sleep.

2. The next day I would use a clear amethyst crystal not to shield but to reinterpret the way what you call energy reaches me.

3. Over the next week with the crystal now harmonising/fractalising the inflow of charge, I would start to take a more aggressive approach to the problem as Enochian suggests.

I wouldn't ask anything of an adept/master, whoever that may be to you, unless after this I still had problems. I also wouldn't slice my aura in any fashion as Isaiah did.

These are the basic steps I use.

This post has been edited by Zugzwang: Jan 1 2007, 10:29 AM

You kiddin? I dream like a stock stereotype pisces spirit! (even weirder that I am a gemini, thats another story). Whats a good way to channel dream energies? I always end up involuntarily evoking my own daydreams, and mouth each dialogue out! -_-;; *takes a deep breath and relaxes*

And Zug, even so what you said may be valid, crystal lattices and energy trappings within their structures (and strata? right word?) would first have to mimic the energy patterns of the individual AND be able to emulate their center. Not to discount what you say as a whole, but simply towards my own character personally. As for me, if I were to use crystal therapy, more or less the closest idea of my usage would be that of a "Recall Crystal," a stone which archives and logs various changes in aura and whatnot, like a medical style spiritual health rep sheet. Most likely, I would use a quartz to create a miniature archive, but for it to----you know what? scratch that. Eno was right, I DO think too much. Alright. Well, I dont have any crystals like that, and my hematite ring was shattered.

But, instead of being my usual pathological egomaniac I am, I would like to say a few things that DO work instead of what DOES NOT, concerning recentering, remembering, and recovery:

1. A vanilla based scent, somewhat feminine and gentle, but also a little musky.
2. A light wood burning smell, like that outside of a home when it's burning wood.
3. The thought and visual of a hearth.
4. A singing woman's voice, almost as a lullaby.
5. VAN HALEN!
6. Crimson sunset twilights.
7. Gothic Lolitas (SCORE!)

Ok, I know that it's sorta obvious and stupid, but other than the obvious, I still feel like something is missing. Does anyone have enough experience to make an analysis on my condition/character based on the things described, to perhaps see what I need to do or know to find myself? Perhaps there are questions that need to be asked? If it gets to that point, please PM me. Thank you.

Eno, Zug, thanks so much for the input. Isaiah, I understand where you are coming from, and many times it just feels like there IS no system setup for me. Just a huge @$$ volcanic shaft from where my beast comes out from. *remembers the effects of such experiences* *shudders*.

Other than whats about to come in terms of responses, how do i give you guys ratings??

Mind you, what I'm about to say doesn't mean I think it is true. Just a possibility. When you say "Karmic Bureau of Bounty Hunters" do you mean other magicians? And in another post you said, "But, instead of being my usual pathological egomaniac I am".

It is very possible someone bound you until you come to your senses and if they were skilled enough, it's not coming off until you start from square one as others have suggested. I've heard of guiding entities doing this to their human students as well.

This post has been edited by Masery: Jan 1 2007, 01:40 PM

Ya know, that may be entirely possible. I was about to post on that possibility, actually.

After so much debate with everyone in my heyday, I just really didn't believe in their power anymore. I didn't like their approach, I didn't like their belief. It didn't fit me, but I still wanted a place to belong. Reguardless of how wrong their reality was to me, as long as I had a place in it, I had a home, for as much as I cared.

Now, though, my thoughts are returning to myself. All those other theories and whatnot....I don't know what to make of it. They make sense in a way, but not my way. It's as if *METAPHOR WARNING* I left for like, a decade to another country and I didn't belong, but I was there for anthropology, and I started to believe in the ways and customs. But, after a while, I had to leave, and realize it wasn't my place, even though it gave me something to hold on to. *end metaphor*

In this light, then I DO know what I am about, problem is....

I can't find it/it doesn't exist anymore/no one may be tolerant/these times aren't meant for it/other doubts or other logical antitheses.

Well, i got some meditating to do. This is gonna be some work, definetely...

Wow....what a wake up call...