Hey guys,
Been visited on two seperate occasions now by what I get in visuals as a child of variable size; the first time I saw her, she seemed a bit taller, but the second was a visual of her sitting on my computer desk, and in that one she looked to be about four and a half feet, with a frame of maybe a foot wide at the waist...tiny, other words.

Large, dark eyes, but actually very normal looking...thick but not excessive black hair...but the main thing that caught me was an unusually pink Caucasian complexion. Not unrealistically pink, perhaps...but moreso than what I'm used to seeing.

I would have written it off as a ghost or a delusion, except the first time I saw her, it was in response to a request for help when I had something malignant in my bedroom which I felt was beyond my degree of experience to be able to deal with. She got rid of the negative entity in fairly short order, which made me assume that she was at least somewhat powerful, which in turn more or less ruled out the ghost idea in my mind.

Anyone who's been watching me on the God/Goddess forum will know I've been trying to focus a fair amount on Kali recently...but if the above is a guise of Kali, it isn't one I've heard of. The reason why I assume there is some association between the two though is because both times I've seen her, I was asking for help from/contact with Kali and ended up getting her instead. I've wondered if it was maybe a spirit guide...I've heard of one person at least having a kid as a guide before.

I don't get an impression of malevolence at all though...the second time I saw her (sitting on the end of the computer desk) was actually when I was feeling fairly upset, and I felt that there was some expression of concern there.

As wacky as it sounds, the single main individual I've been reminded of by her in terms of appearance was Aphrael, a fictional (I thought, at least ;-)) godform mentioned in two of David Eddings' series of novels. The mental imagery I used to get of her as a character while reading those books was pretty much identical. Of course, a Chaote's response might be that I've somehow ended up evoking her...but if so, it was inadvertent and more or less spontaneous. Also, in getting rid of the other entity I was having problems with, I at least thought she demonstrated a level of power that I wouldn't have thought possible with the CM concept of pop culture godforms, to be honest.

Some of what I've been seeing in the last 18 months has started to cause me to think I'm about ready to be shipped off to the proverbial funny farm. Given that it's nearly all revolved around what I later found out to bear at least an interesting resemblance to imagery I'd found of female godforms, a sarcastic response could be that I simply need to get a girlfriend...except it started while I was still in a relationship. I think maybe the answer is that even during that relationship, I'd previously been Christian, was growing very unhappy after several years of living like an atheist due to disillusionment with that religion more or less entirely, and I think also rather than a girlfriend specifically, actually wanted a female godform...not only purely for the sake of something different to what I'd previously experienced, but also because of the degree of emotional intimacy I'd read being claimed by worshippers of such...it sounded like something desirable.

As a result, I've now apparently got them crawling out of the woodwork in all directions, at least in terms of the visuals I've been getting. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

Must... not... quote... seekandyewillfind,askanditisgiven,thoughtsarethings ...darnit!

There was something in Swedenborg's Heaven & Hell as well as some NDE reports of unincarnated beings taking the shape of someone familiar or famous to the observer. It's not like they have a physical body that has to conform to a rigid 3D structure like we do.
(IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) My bet the girl was either one of Kali's subordinates / associates who came on her behalf or that after having a scary entity in your room, an 8 foot tall multi-limbed goddess carrying severed heads wasn't the best shape for the occasion, and went for something you'd find less frightening.
Artists through the ages have a tendency to cute-ify things; cherubim as cute babies with wings, bloody heart-ripping Mayan ceremonies that look like Sunday comics, and relatively modern cartoons where explosions just turn things black. All the pictures I've seen of Kali show a nude female with bloody severed limbs and weaponry. If those are the niced-down version of Kali, she's not someone I'd want to see pop out of nowhere.

Actually my first thought when reading "a fictional godform" was "Just because it's fictional, doesn't mean it's not real."

Well, if you're considering her a Chaos Magick Pop Culture Godform, keep in mind some Chaote's have other views on what the Godforms are. They aren't necessarily an entirely new entity, but rather a new "mask" for an old "God".

So running with the theory that it might be Aphrael, even if you don't think that Aphrael has enough of a fan-base to Create her with that strength, she could be another Godform in that mask, can you think of another God that she is similarity to? So much that they may appear as her?

This is the explanation I'm tending towards as well, Seeker. I read altpath talking about dealing with one of the spirits in the Goetia, and him saying he knew he'd never had anything other than minions or associates...never the real entity itself. Thanks though. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

As for scary imagery...Yes, Kali does have some nasty imagery, and an even worse reputation, unfortunately. Grimstone has been trying almost continually recently to get me to give up focusing on her, as he thinks she is a monster, and that I'm in denial about her darker aspects. I know the dark aspects are there...but I feel that there are positive ones as well.

Aphrodite actually comes to mind...the name itself is similar, and I can remember thinking on a few occasions that maybe Grimstone and I could work with her at some point in terms of what we were doing magic wise, although I hadn't come up with an application that would fit her correspondences, and it was also only a very passing thought.

It's odd, from the point of view that I had thought that godforms generally need a fair amount of "stuff" done to get them to show up, in terms of evocation...but apparently that isn't the case. Grimstone has been developing a relationship with the Aesir, and as Om wrote in a couple of threads there, they've apparently been a very busy group recently...in terms of spontaneous visions/conversions of people I mean. So I guess what I'm learning is that godforms can and do reach out to people all on their own...it doesn't have to be a case purely of us calling them.