yet another topic for yet another article - thought i'd post it here as well for comment since its so pertainent to our work in magickal training and the search for magickal enlightenment - try answering 'what does my 'me' look like?'

remember it is up to us all to keep trying to awaken the sleepers - and always be aware that there are those working right now to affect the history of this planet in their favor, and it isn't a good thing for us at all.

E.


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I and me
by Esoterica
Copyright 2006

With the number of outright attacks and the strength of the pressure being applied by those who wish world dominance and control, it is time now to speak of the 'I' and the 'me'.

The 'I' is, of course, the boastful ego that must be crucified to achieve true Power, where it is represented in everyday life as peer pressure, popularity and coolness.

In the magickal world it appears as self-deception, plus the 'I' is also vanity, and is the target of every advertising agency in the world.

We are instructed almost everyday to 'believe in ourselves', but this just adds fuel to the 'I' as belief in ones self just obscures the true 'me', which is the 'knowledge of our real selves' that hides deep inside us and carries the past memories of our immortal existance.

Those things which affect the 'I' of the ego either make the 'I' get smaller, as in humiliation, or even bigger, as in pride of self.

"How could you do this to me?" would be so much better stated "How could you do this to I?", and stroking one's own 'I' via self-promotion, as in political ads, is possibly the worst of the lot.

In magickal life, an unchecked ego can lead to unexpected reults, control issues and a quest for power for power's sake to satisfy an ever-expanding belief in one's self.

The 'me', however, is self-esteem, the inner the core within ourselves that knows who we really are.

We may not be happy with our physical existance, and the inner image that we carry of ourselves may be radically different from our outward physical appearance, but the inner 'me' is truly who we are and we must be strong and comfortable in that knowledge.

It is this internal image of ourselves that we carry in our most inner being that is what predators (both magickal and mundane) attack, for no matter how humiliated the 'I' is, our 'me' is still alive inside us, and is extremely strong in not submitting to another's will, for it is the true eternal soul.

We do not have to be comfortable with our inner 'me' to be aware of it and draw strength from it, as this internal image of ourselves may be completely different emotionally, and even gender-ally, from the physical.

Once we realize that it is the imbedded memories of the inner 'me' that makes us feel that we are different now from what we should be, we can then reconcile the extremes and accept both existences.

For years i had this problem and even unconsciously avoided seeing myself in mirrors, as my inner view of myself was so radically different from what i saw there.

My magickal teacher saw this and made me hold the mirror to stare into my own eyes, for the eyes are indeed the mirror of the soul.

Eventually i came to understand that the inner 'me' is indeed the soul memory, and it remembers a totally different time, place and way of existence, and that this time around is just another spin on the wheel and will become, whether i accept it or not, another set of memories carried in the true 'me'.

It is these memories that can make a person who has always lived in the desert be horribly afraid of salt water, and have dreams of falling and death, even though they have never seen the sea, nor have the ever left the ground and died.

When faced with a determined attack for submission to anothers will, we can draw great strength from our 'me', and the more we draw upon it, the more defined and sure the image of the true 'me' becomes.

And so, a simple excercise for strengthening the knowledge of ones 'me' is mirror gazing, not to see something external, but to see past the physical outwardness, deeper even than the body's internal structure, to seek, find, and eventually accept, the true 'me'.

For some this may be a harder task as the 'me' they see may be so incredibly different a picture from their physical reality that they may shrink away from the contact, and for some even more difficult cases, their 'me' may not even be human-seeming at all, but their 'me' is still the true soul of their incarnation.

Oddly enough, the greater the difference the image of the 'me' is from the physical, the more powerful the 'me' seems to be.

My own 'me' seems to have been around the block a few times, and has some unique battle scars that i had no idea about until i looked deeply.

My 'I', however, is as stubborn as a always-hungry mule at a feed trough.

If i were a hermit or something it probably wouldn't be so hard to control it, but everything from not trying to be 'cool' and not dressing to impress others seems to continually and unintentionally revive the crucified 'I'.

Television and radio advertisments pump it back up again just when you finally got it flat-lined, and everyday stressful situations can morph selflessness into ego-boosting and starting the whole cycle again.

It is very hard keeping a firm hand on the 'I', while still being aware of the true 'me', but it is vital to our efforts in this war of psychic and magick to control human destiny, for i have no intention of allowing myself to become radioactive dust blowing in the wind.

Esoterica
Imbolic '06
"I can kill or cure with a single thought."