You mentioned that you were into healing and the like , I totally agree with Radiant star about reading Barbara ann Brennan , She is a renouned healer and the book "Hands of light" , pretty much will answer most of your questions and some , last I looked she had a follow up to hands of light . Reputable Reiki practitioners can not only help with questions , besides clearing your aura and so forth , they could give you a personalized regiment , if your prepared to spend some mulla. I go about 4 times a year. I'm no longer suicidal .
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I'm just walking in the rain[B]
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