Conclusions, Finally found answers that I understand. Options

Funny how the universe will translate itself to different people in different ways. Me being a computer geek and gamer, I understood the universe in a similar fashion.

Everyone knows about my incessant quest to try and Astral Project. Well, I am happily announcing that I have stopped that quest. For the longest time, I was fixated on the idea that Astral Projection will be my only way to be happy in my life... but then, what did that say about me? If anything, in retrospect, that tells me that I knew nothing about what Astral Projection was about. So, after weeks months years of searching for understanding of the subject, I finally found some metaphorical analogies I can use.

I asked a mentor what is AP, exactly. She said that it was like "taking off your muddy shoes of karma, and leaving them at the door. When you return to your body, you put them on again." I asked her further about the subject, wondering what happens to the consciousness after we die, and during astral projection. Does it disappear? Will I still have my sense of "awareness" that feeds into the singularity point which is my consciousness? Short answer, Yes, I will still be conscious and aware.

Long answer, however, was "not quite." Apparently, when we leave our bodies (through projection or death), there is that sense of identity attached to the consciousness. I know myself in this life as... well, I don't give out my real name on the internet unless it's on a person-to-person basis, so I will just use my magick name that I used way back when. So, I know myself in this life as "Ulric." When I leave my body, I am still "Ulric," the mind, personality, cognition, and sum of all my experiences in this life, or "the Mental Body/Projection."

Eventually, that shrugs off, and I become my true self, the sum of all life experiences that I have had, unique compared to every life I have had, in the sense of logic that "square is a rhombus, but rhombus is not a square." Yes, I am still me, but the "Ulric" is no longer. I do not know my 'true' name, and as far as I have noticed, nor do I care to. I will have all the things I have learned in my life as "Ulric," but "Ulric" is no more.

Now, how was I able to make sense of this? By the following:

Life is very much like an MMORPG. "Ulric" is my "Toon" that I level up with different skills, that I make friends with, that I learn life experiences with, and that I learn to be Homo Sapiens with. This Earth, this universe, this reality, is like the Server that "Ulric" logs into. Mental Projection is like taking "Ulric" and switching servers for a short period of time. Astral Projection is the act of "logging out" of my avatar, "Ulric." In fact, avatar is a very accurate term for this whole thing. In both the gaming aspect and the spiritual aspect, "Ulric" is the avatar of my true self, similar to how Buddha was an avatar, Jesus was an avatar, and various others. We are all avatars. Avatars of our true selves, playing this MMORPG we call "Mortal Reality" (in before "MORTAL KOMBAT!!).

Think about it. Video games are excellent learning tools to understand other people. By hiding behind a persona, you can make all the mistakes you want, learning at maximum efficiency, with virtually no fear of repercussion to the real self... that is, until you begin to abuse the "hacks" and "debug mode." (That's best left to the Devs and Mods, who I am guessing are the spirits of the Sephiroth that make up the body of "God." You can request their help anytime, but if anything, like a true developer and/or moderator, they will just help you out only if you're stuck via a glitch, and otherwise just remind you how to help yourself.) You can learn how to socialize, learn new words and ways of talking, of thinking, of writing, of doing... learn tactics on how to tackle problems and everything. Half of everything I know about how to successfully deal with the world, I learned from playing video games with a centered mind. I kid you not. There is a definite Zen to Video Games.

And what happens when it gets too much to bear? You log out, and realize, "it's just a game. I can relax." And so, you wake up in the morning, and in the twilight of sleep, do not care for the world... until the mental energies of your avatar load up and remind you of your stats, your score, and those damn numbers that matter for only one measly thing: The Game.

Before waking up, I am not aware of the score or the stats or anything concerned with this world. I know a few skills and methods of thinking, but more or less that's just from experience. "Ulric" takes care of the rest. But then... "Ulric" rises to take the stand in the world and is reminded: My name is "Ulric." I am 23 years old. I am located in bed at my house at my address. I'm fat. My BMI is xx.xx%. My weight is xxx pounds. My height is xxx cm. I go to college. I have a car. I have a bank account. I live in the United States.... and so on, and so forth with a flood of information that gives me awareness to the here and now.

And meditation is what I am supposed to use to shut myself up from the constant data feed and let my damn machine cool down!! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

PS Yes, the game is open source, but if you try to take on the mods and devs, and how they set up the game engine, they will lock up your character from functioning correctly. Overall, just behave. Have plenty of lulz, but don't go overboard...

...Because no one likes a Griefer!

LOL I liked your computer and gaming analogy.

I did notice a lot of question about astral projection from you. Why did you believe astral projection leads to happier life? I had a similar fixation with lucid dreaming.

I agree with that theory of the conscious staying on.

Why did you believe astral projection leads to happier life?

For a long time I was dissatisfied about my love life, and I had this wild notion that the only way I would ever find love was from a woman not of this world.

Then I grew up and learned to smile.

For a long time I was dissatisfied about my love life, and I had this wild notion that the only way I would ever find love was from a woman not of this world.

Then I grew up and learned to smile.

Really? If a hott guy like you can't find love then who can? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/fie.gif)

For a long time I was dissatisfied about my love life, and I had this wild notion that the only way I would ever find love was from a woman not of this world.

Then I grew up and learned to smile.

Really? If a hott guy like you can't find love then who can? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/fie.gif)

Thank you, ha ha! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) Yes, the Xenomancer is a sexy beast! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/evilB.gif)

I used to be rather awkward in social situations.

If you want to discuss that part further, feel free to message me. Otherwise, back on topic:

These were my conclusions that took years to come to. I have a model of thinking that makes sense to me. Everything seems to be playing out as it should now. Also, now that I learned how to think of Astral Projection correctly, I realized that I really don't need it after all. Although, it would be really cool to experience at will.

Better to have and not need, than need and not have - Common Urban Philosophy

I wouldn't be surprised if my chances of going AP just multiplied myriad-fold just from a change in attitude. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/13.gif)

Further, by me simply not caring anymore, I have been able to pay better attention to what my soul truly desires for me, and what makes me truly happy. Took a while, but I'm just glad I got to this point. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wheelchair.gif)

Through the years I've come up with many interesting, beautiful, and sometimes chaotic metaphors for explanations, and it's only very rarely that I seek to remember them in their fullest. LIfe is indeed a game, as you describe, and many a person spend their time thinking about how frustrated they're with it or how pleased they're with it. Yet, those who want something more from life, something more from this world need to contine to thrive and strive with patience, or as Yoda might say "control, control you must learn control". Astral projection and dreaming are related and are part of the old powers, the ancestors, it's no wonder we as humans find such romance in them; nowadays the scope is so much greater, so many more doors have opened, especially in recent times. I say if you want to adventure nowadays why not seek to open a new door, or discover an door long known but forgotten? Such doors are the true grimoires and when opened have the opportunity to change the energy within the mold of our time.

I say if you want to adventure nowadays why not seek to open a new door, or discover an door long known but forgotten? Such doors are the true grimoires and when opened have the opportunity to change the energy within the mold of our time.

Such a door, I have realized I have forgotten, and am currently seeking it. To me, though, it is hard to find, and I have been searching for this one, too, for many years.

My wish is that someone with genuine power and ability would be willing to use their prowess to help me find it.

Ha, and it's a door that you may never find! The stuff of this life isn't in finding things it's in the learning, it's the attempt. I would say most especially in America that we are way too hung up on seeing success as a finished product, for me success is in hanging yourself on the limb and letting it fly, this is much tougher than it sounds. Just remember you're searching for the greatest dream you've ever had so to speak, but don't be so obsessed that you won't walk away with something great even though it might not meet the ideal that you originally envisioned. If you fail to do this you may invariably fail to follow up on clues, portents, signs etc that can lead to the finding of great treasures. Of course this is all very difficult stuff that sounds so simple.

As for a teacher, I'll question that, what I'm saying is that were at a turning point in magical systems, thinking and power. Any and every magician would love to discover one of these doors, yet even the greatest magicians may fail to discover such a thing, they are myth, legend.. If what you're merely asking for are comrades and companions then don't be so insulting as to ask for a resume. Seriously, there will be times when the greatest insight, the greatest healing might come from a random person you'll never see again, a random walk in the park. Don't start thinking: I need someone with power, I need to know someone with knowledge. Look, you don't have to search alone by any means, and by all means find others to search with you, but it isn't neccessary to find some person of power, you're real wish should be that you're the person of genuine ability and power, isn't that more what you're longing for rather than to find another person who has those traits? As an aside, I kind've find it funny you ask that since there are folks on these very boards (who have probably already helped you) who I think fit that description well enough.

wow xeno! you truly impress me with your enlightening comments! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) i am glad you spoke to this woman...she sounds very wise, and its sounds like she gave you some good medicine. i can tell you are relieved...i think you will find the less you fight the quick-sand, the easier it is to fish yourself out of a mire. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)

lol. btw. Lv the Analogy-V (just some cipher for bym haha)

Ha, and it's a door that you may never find!

Since my last post in this thread, let's just say I've at least located the corridor it's in. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)

. Seriously, there will be times when the greatest insight, the greatest healing might come from a random person you'll never see again, a random walk in the park.

If only I had been lucky enough to record what was spoken during those encounters, I would write a book and be rich as F***!! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

Don't start thinking: I need someone with power, I need to know someone with knowledge. Look, you don't have to search alone by any means, and by all means find others to search with you, but it isn't neccessary to find some person of power, you're real wish should be that you're the person of genuine ability and power, isn't that more what you're longing for rather than to find another person who has those traits?

Well, well! It seems like someone's showing off their plumage for psychoanalytic ability!! Very good! Yes. The more I have spent in learning and researching metaphysics and occult practice, the more I learned that the only real way to empowerment is self-empowerment. Any alteration from anyone else (save a few situations which I will not elaborate upon right now) results in disaster.