Heart-pounding fear of death, I'm afraid of death, pretty afraid. Options

Sometimes when I'm not really doing anything my mind wanders, and sometimes it wanders and thinks about death. When I do think about it, it horrifies me, even though I’m very young (19 years old). The thing is, I believe in an afterlife. Not a traditional Christian-like heaven, but I do believe as humans our souls are immortal and death is a transition from the body to an eternal state – being one with nature/the universe.

But this insecure feeling has been with me ever since my godfather died when I was a boy. Sometimes the thought crosses my mind: what if I’m wrong? What if nothing happens, what if it’s simply the end? I recall skeptics saying how religion is simply a way human beings make death easier – since we are the only species aware of our impending doom. And I think of what it would be like to be nothing. Then I imagine what this would be like, and what I picture is probably worse than death itself. I imagine it as a state of consciousness without being conscious. You see, hear, feel, taste, smell absolutely nothing, it’s as if your mind is trapped within a vacuum. Everywhere you look – there is nothing, you would exist in a place of non-existence. When I think about this, my heart begins to pound very heard, I have to breath faster, deeper, and sometimes I even sweat.

I have never seen a ghost, or ever had a supernatural experience, or an experience where I felt like an omnipresent force was protecting me. I feel like this is my fault, that I haven’t been paying enough attention to the spiritual world – and that’s why I don’t have personal proof of its existence. This adds to my fear and doubt of life-after-death.

Then more thoughts quickly follow in which I convince myself that I’m wrong, and there must be an afterlife, and I begin to calm down.

But I wonder – does anyone else ever have these moments of doubt? Do these moments signify that I do not truly believe in what I believe in? And well, I dunno… What should I do? I believe there is a spiritual world, but the critical side of me wants proof – it wants to see a ghost, have an astral experience, invoke a spirit, etc.

If this isn’t the correct forum for this topic, please move it. This is the first time I have discussed this with anyone, so I’m looking for empathetic advice.

Thank you,
Dennis

Believing is irrelevant to becoming fearless of death.

Belief is what children need to comfort themselves in such matters.

I don't care what there is after death, its not that i do not believe...
I believe that it is a waste of time believing in something like that. Becouse it does not provide anything usefull.

I live in the moment, thinking about things like te afterlife or fearing death is not part of this moment. And even if i were to face death, it would not bother me, becouse i do not care wheter i live or die.

Don't get me wrong, i enjoy every step i take in this life, but that does not mean that i need it. And i will fight of death if i need to, but i do not fear it.