Heart-pounding fear of death, I'm afraid of death, pretty afraid. Options

Sometimes when I'm not really doing anything my mind wanders, and sometimes it wanders and thinks about death. When I do think about it, it horrifies me, even though I’m very young (19 years old). The thing is, I believe in an afterlife. Not a traditional Christian-like heaven, but I do believe as humans our souls are immortal and death is a transition from the body to an eternal state – being one with nature/the universe.

But this insecure feeling has been with me ever since my godfather died when I was a boy. Sometimes the thought crosses my mind: what if I’m wrong? What if nothing happens, what if it’s simply the end? I recall skeptics saying how religion is simply a way human beings make death easier – since we are the only species aware of our impending doom. And I think of what it would be like to be nothing. Then I imagine what this would be like, and what I picture is probably worse than death itself. I imagine it as a state of consciousness without being conscious. You see, hear, feel, taste, smell absolutely nothing, it’s as if your mind is trapped within a vacuum. Everywhere you look – there is nothing, you would exist in a place of non-existence. When I think about this, my heart begins to pound very heard, I have to breath faster, deeper, and sometimes I even sweat.

I have never seen a ghost, or ever had a supernatural experience, or an experience where I felt like an omnipresent force was protecting me. I feel like this is my fault, that I haven’t been paying enough attention to the spiritual world – and that’s why I don’t have personal proof of its existence. This adds to my fear and doubt of life-after-death.

Then more thoughts quickly follow in which I convince myself that I’m wrong, and there must be an afterlife, and I begin to calm down.

But I wonder – does anyone else ever have these moments of doubt? Do these moments signify that I do not truly believe in what I believe in? And well, I dunno… What should I do? I believe there is a spiritual world, but the critical side of me wants proof – it wants to see a ghost, have an astral experience, invoke a spirit, etc.

If this isn’t the correct forum for this topic, please move it. This is the first time I have discussed this with anyone, so I’m looking for empathetic advice.

Thank you,
Dennis

I've had many after-death experiences.
Were they real? I don't truthfully know.
Then again, how do I know that I won't wake up in five minutes, and my whole life has been a dream?
I choose to believe that they were real, as I have no other alternative belief that makes more sense to me than what I went through.
I wanted answers, and I got them. Now I have a strong belief, not in survival after death, as survival is a thing of the body and the body does die, but I do believe I will continue to 'be' after the event.
Terminology can make these things very confusing, so I'm attempting to make this as clear as I can, avoiding terms like 'afterLIFE', 'LIFE after death', and so on. Even 'existence', and 'being' can be misleading, but being is the term closest for the state I experienced when out there/here.
There is an obvious difference between a living body and a dead one, and I won't patronise anyone by going into details about the differences, but something has gone from the living body which has allowed it to become re-absorbed into the environment from which it came.
In this universe, nothing is ever destroyed, it just changes form.
There is rumoured to be evidence to suggest that there is a difference in weight between a body alive, and the same body when dead.
I am in this body now, but I won't be when it dies, so where will I be?
If I were a driver, and my vehicle broke down beyond repair, I would have to leave it behind until I could get my self a new one, and continue my journey.
I am the driver of this body, and when it reaches a condition whereby it can no longer function as a vehicle for my self to inhabit, I will have no other choice but to leave it behind, and maybe at some point acquire a new one.
In the interim period, I believe I will be reunited with my Ancestors when this sensory environment fades along with the senses that percieve it.
Then, it's party time.
Not that I am not with them now, it's just that being hard wired into this sensory organism makes it difficult to always be aware of the other side of being.
Our lack of sufficient education in these matters doesn't help.
Sometimes cracks appear and we get a glimpse of another side.
All I had to do was ask....well, plead with every ounce of my being once I had got myself into the correct state of mind (IMG:style_emoticons/default/bigwink.gif)
I experienced every being as an infinitely small, but infinitely bright pinpoint of light, emanating a joy, and love of such magnitude, that I couldn't handle it.
I had a sort of mental breakdown aterwards, but thankfully managed to keep it a secret, as I didn't want to end up in some kind of mental institution.
So I went a bit bonkers, but still had enough of a grip on 'normal' behaviour to pull me through.
I'm not trying to TELL anyone what to believe, I'm simply trying to give an account of my experience, how I made sense of it all, and my subsequent beliefs.
In the end, I agree with most of what has been said above.
Generally try not to worry too much about it as we have a life to lead, but if we believe anything about death, we might as well believe something positive, as no-one really knows for sure what's in store after the end, and what's the point in thinking negatively?
Even if we do wink out into oblivion afterwards, why make the short time we have here miserable and all screwed up on account of this?
This is turning into a bit of an epic, so I'll end with a phrase well known to some of us.
'Every man and every woman is a star.' A.C./Aiwaz
Yours in light and darkness.
Steve. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blablabla.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/922.gif)

This post has been edited by Sicksicksicks: Apr 8 2006, 09:13 PM