Heart-pounding fear of death, I'm afraid of death, pretty afraid. Options

Sometimes when I'm not really doing anything my mind wanders, and sometimes it wanders and thinks about death. When I do think about it, it horrifies me, even though I’m very young (19 years old). The thing is, I believe in an afterlife. Not a traditional Christian-like heaven, but I do believe as humans our souls are immortal and death is a transition from the body to an eternal state – being one with nature/the universe.

But this insecure feeling has been with me ever since my godfather died when I was a boy. Sometimes the thought crosses my mind: what if I’m wrong? What if nothing happens, what if it’s simply the end? I recall skeptics saying how religion is simply a way human beings make death easier – since we are the only species aware of our impending doom. And I think of what it would be like to be nothing. Then I imagine what this would be like, and what I picture is probably worse than death itself. I imagine it as a state of consciousness without being conscious. You see, hear, feel, taste, smell absolutely nothing, it’s as if your mind is trapped within a vacuum. Everywhere you look – there is nothing, you would exist in a place of non-existence. When I think about this, my heart begins to pound very heard, I have to breath faster, deeper, and sometimes I even sweat.

I have never seen a ghost, or ever had a supernatural experience, or an experience where I felt like an omnipresent force was protecting me. I feel like this is my fault, that I haven’t been paying enough attention to the spiritual world – and that’s why I don’t have personal proof of its existence. This adds to my fear and doubt of life-after-death.

Then more thoughts quickly follow in which I convince myself that I’m wrong, and there must be an afterlife, and I begin to calm down.

But I wonder – does anyone else ever have these moments of doubt? Do these moments signify that I do not truly believe in what I believe in? And well, I dunno… What should I do? I believe there is a spiritual world, but the critical side of me wants proof – it wants to see a ghost, have an astral experience, invoke a spirit, etc.

If this isn’t the correct forum for this topic, please move it. This is the first time I have discussed this with anyone, so I’m looking for empathetic advice.

Thank you,
Dennis

The first time that I had an Out of Body Experience I learned that there is more to me than flesh and blood and bone. You can take my word for it, but there are others who say that there is no life after death. Who do you believe? Perhaps you will have a personal experience that convinces you sometime. I know there is life after death; I don't just believe, I know. But it is something that has to be experienced to know for sure. Even though I've had experiences that showed me that we are not just our bodies, but immortal spirits, I still fear dying. It is an animal fear that is part of our bodies, our nervous systems.
Its like fearing pain. In any case, dying often involves pain. Sometimes dying, or being dead, is easier than living. I worked in a hospice for 2 or 3 years. Its tough on those around the terminally ill as well. I would get attached to someone and then 2 or 3 months later they were gone. I had to go through regular counselling, but it was educational. I don't know exactly what happens when you die, at least not from a first person perspective, but I noticed a couple of things. I feel energy so this is from the energetic standpoint. They seem to conserve or horde energy towards the end. I have the idea that dying requires a certain amount of qi or energy. At the moment of death, there is a great release of energy. What is left afterwards isn't a person, just a shell.