Heart-pounding fear of death, I'm afraid of death, pretty afraid. Options

Sometimes when I'm not really doing anything my mind wanders, and sometimes it wanders and thinks about death. When I do think about it, it horrifies me, even though I’m very young (19 years old). The thing is, I believe in an afterlife. Not a traditional Christian-like heaven, but I do believe as humans our souls are immortal and death is a transition from the body to an eternal state – being one with nature/the universe.

But this insecure feeling has been with me ever since my godfather died when I was a boy. Sometimes the thought crosses my mind: what if I’m wrong? What if nothing happens, what if it’s simply the end? I recall skeptics saying how religion is simply a way human beings make death easier – since we are the only species aware of our impending doom. And I think of what it would be like to be nothing. Then I imagine what this would be like, and what I picture is probably worse than death itself. I imagine it as a state of consciousness without being conscious. You see, hear, feel, taste, smell absolutely nothing, it’s as if your mind is trapped within a vacuum. Everywhere you look – there is nothing, you would exist in a place of non-existence. When I think about this, my heart begins to pound very heard, I have to breath faster, deeper, and sometimes I even sweat.

I have never seen a ghost, or ever had a supernatural experience, or an experience where I felt like an omnipresent force was protecting me. I feel like this is my fault, that I haven’t been paying enough attention to the spiritual world – and that’s why I don’t have personal proof of its existence. This adds to my fear and doubt of life-after-death.

Then more thoughts quickly follow in which I convince myself that I’m wrong, and there must be an afterlife, and I begin to calm down.

But I wonder – does anyone else ever have these moments of doubt? Do these moments signify that I do not truly believe in what I believe in? And well, I dunno… What should I do? I believe there is a spiritual world, but the critical side of me wants proof – it wants to see a ghost, have an astral experience, invoke a spirit, etc.

If this isn’t the correct forum for this topic, please move it. This is the first time I have discussed this with anyone, so I’m looking for empathetic advice.

Thank you,
Dennis

I agree, yet again.
We have been conditioned to fear death all our lives (Hmmm!), but there are some cultures who celebrate it, and as you say, a clear conscience can make a hell (Hmmm!) of a difference when the big moment comes.
We can spend our lives ripping other people off etc..., in order to make our own lives more comfortable but when it comes to that final crunch, we go out as we came in, i.e. with nothing, and a clearer conscience can make the process a bit smoother.
I reckon that's what Christians are on about when they say 'repent' and all that.
Even after all my experiences, which have mainly been positive, I still have no desire to pop off just yet but when I do I think I'll have something good to look forward to, and if I'm wrong, and I just wink out of existence, I won't know about it anyway.
There is a great deal more evidence in my opinion to suggest that there is some form of continued state of being after death than there is to suggest otherwise, so I think it wise to get my spiritual affairs in order whilst I'm alive, and though I can lie to everyone else 'til I'm blue in the face, I can't lie to myself in the end.
Here endeth sermon sicksicksicks. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/922.gif)