Need More Chesed. Options

I just read DANTE'S EQUATION by Jane Jensen and it really relit my interest in Kaballah. Its fiction but pulls from science, math and the kaballah to give a new twist on "ascension" that I have pursued for years.

So anyway I need more Chesed to balance my excessive Gevurah. Any ideas that dont include rituals?

I know little of the tree and these terms, but I was wondering if a pathworking might show up an imbalance - if there was one - I have found sometimes that these ways of working highlight areas of me that are important, in a positive way or showing up things that may be a hindrance to ourselves or others at times; of course, these things can be relative to the situation.

I suppose it is ultimately about thinking things through and noticing our movements towards being overpowerirng or when we were compassionate and balancing it with our own needs.

Still, I have a feeling you know this already, but other members might want the input this basic input.

I know little of the tree and these terms, but I was wondering if a pathworking might show up an imbalance - if there was one - I have found sometimes that these ways of working highlight areas of me that are important, in a positive way or showing up things that may be a hindrance to ourselves or others at times; of course, these things can be relative to the situation.

I suppose it is ultimately about thinking things through and noticing our movements towards being overpowerirng or when we were compassionate and balancing it with our own needs.

Still, I have a feeling you know this already, but other members might want the input this basic input.

The problem is I'm too judgemental. I work in a hospital and love helping people. But I need to stop judging. I've never done pathworking so I will have to google it, thanks.

I should note that I was spending about 4 hours a day praying/meditating a day and it has deepened my communion with God but it has also made me very judgemental. I was doing this for the past six years but stopped a couple weeks ago to take a breather. It seems every insight or mystical boost I gain I get a coorosponding inflation of ego. I suppose I need that Gevurah energy to stick with my path but now I need to soften it with some Chesed.

I may have the answer inside me but I am not letting myself see it. I figure there will be a connection with virtures like if you want to tone down Lust then you first work on Gluttony sicne they are both connected. I wonder what cardinal sin is conected to being too judnemental? Pride? That seems obvious. So what is connected to pride?

I tried to plot it on the tree starting with the gluttony-lust connection. But I have a block. Hence the posting.

The problem is I'm too judgemental. I work in a hospital and love helping people. But I need to stop judging. I've never done pathworking so I will have to google it, thanks.

I should note that I was spending about 4 hours a day praying/meditating a day and it has deepened my communion with God but it has also made me very judgemental. I was doing this for the past six years but stopped a couple weeks ago to take a breather. It seems every insight or mystical boost I gain I get a coorosponding inflation of ego. I suppose I need that Gevurah energy to stick with my path but now I need to soften it with some Chesed.

I may have the answer inside me but I am not letting myself see it. I figure there will be a connection with virtures like if you want to tone down Lust then you first work on Gluttony sicne they are both connected. I wonder what cardinal sin is conected to being too judnemental? Pride? That seems obvious. So what is connected to pride?

I tried to plot it on the tree starting with the gluttony-lust connection. But I have a block. Hence the posting.

Are you familiar at all with the Hebrew alphabet? What helped me wihe same problem is meditating on the letter Peh. It corresponds with both Netzach and Hod, and its Sefer Yetzirah kingship is Dominance (in the set of attributions I use). A meditation on the angelic name ChNYAL (Haniel) is what spurred me to concentrate on Peh, and it definitely worked, though it's still an ongoing process.


Paul