Truth Seeking, what is life, what is humanity, what is you Options

as the topic suggests.

Lately i am missing more occult discussions on these forums. altough i like talking about vegetarianism and drugs, i want to talk more about the nature of my beliefs and study.
namely the search for pure untainted truth. and the gathering of as much power as i can contain.
Those are my goals, towards enlightenment.

I was wondering how others view their search for whatever they are searching for.
perhaps some have found some form of truth they are content with, i wish to hear about these opinions in a respectable way.
no bashing others ideas, just sharing (IMG:style_emoticons/default/baby.gif)

I myself belief in non-existance. however i believe this truth has to be experienced in an enlightening experience, or more experiences.
at the moment i have experienced this at times. but i seem to keep forgetting it in the long run, and their seems to be a need for constant experiencing this non-existance. thus to live fully in this awarenes. This is hard to do, but rewarding as it makes life a peacefull experiences.

No-mind, the stopping of mind chatter is the primary practise of this belief, toghether with meditation.

this i try to combine with ceremonial magick, trying to get a taste and feeling of magickal essense and energys. i have found they have a distinct taste when working with them over the years. enlarging this taste and connection is one of my goals.

the increase in magickal potence gives me more control over things in life trough magick. this enables me to worry less about things not nesesary for the first goal of no mind. This way i can use magick to steer my life where i want it with little effort, so that i can practise no-mind and non-existance in an undisturbed way.

However, i have many questions still and many ways to go.

I hope this will get a possible discussion started, perhaps we can enlighten each other on various ways.
i would really like to learn more about the magickal side, sinse i consider myself still a child in learning at that side. The consepts of the spiritual side are easier.

so lets get started, anyone wanna share their core beliefs, mentalities conserning their practise. not really the tools of the trade, but really what goes on in the head while doing them. feelings tastes sensations that happen during practise.

my magick practise tastes verry purple. the nature of these energies tastes not evil or good, its a strange taste. a feeling of strength and energy without a connection to good or evil, a purple goo swirling around me. this is not something i visualise, its not important to me how you visualise your magick. its the feedback you get. no matter how i visualise my magick acts, it always tastes like this to me, wich is something i think more true than my visualisations.

I believe that by discussing these tactile connections we can learn from each other how to closer connect to these energies. in truth and not merely visualisation techniques. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

lets begin...

Interesting, I usually characterize magickal energy as a sort of light blue/purple.

I experience my search as the journey towards Ascension, which is maybe the same thing as enlightenment. A state of pure consciousness, above and beyond the physical world. There are moments when it seems like an inevitability, something just on the edge of my existence, and other times when I have a hard time believing that it's possible. Usually when I have less energy it seems farther away, or less realistic.

As far as the magickal side goes, originally energy was just some concept, nothing that I could touch or hold in any fashion. I would get discouraged because a lot of the other teenage 'magickians' that were my peers would talk about seeing energy, throwing energy, having astral projection adventures, stuff like that. Expectations of physical sensations like holding something solid, or fantastic magickal effects kind of sidetracked me for a while.

My guides laid a great deal of foundational theory and 'knowledge' before I ever experienced energy, such that the first time it happened, I knew exactly what it was, and everything sort of fell into place. I characterize energy by vibration, weight, density, and texture - in total, each energy is present as a particular composite feeling which can be dissected and studied. I don't visualize much, which is to say that for me energy has no visual component, although I do sometimes visualize a particular object or subject which evokes a connection to a particular energy, in some cases. Less now so than before.

Love is an energy with a high vibration, light and airy, but dense and forceful, like gravity. it's texture is soft, like goosedown, and when it is 'touched' it envelopes and penetrates.

Fire is an energy with a volatile vibration, hard and comparable to electricity in it's 'density'. It's texture is jagged and expansive, and when it is touched it consumes - holding it in my mind, It does not easily remain in it's own 'compartment' but tends to consume my concentration on other things.

Abundance is an energy with a tenor vibration, rubbery and flexible. It has little temperature at all, which leads me to think of abundance as an impersonal force. it is sometimes heavy and sometimes lighter, and has the density of jell-o.

For me energy has a comparable scheme to the physical world - there are larger parts composed of smaller parts. One energy is made up of a number of other energies, all 'lesser' in scope than the composite energy. but, the way that they combine doesn't necessarily produce a tactile sensation that seems to be what one would expect two mixed sensations to feel like. so, for me the energetic parts are a little like molecules. When combined in different ways, they generate an overall substance that may not be anything like either of the two (or more) individual parts.

So far it's my belief that when the moment of death comes - either chosen or happenstance - there is a chance to remain distinct, if one is able to hold enough energy. i think that the average person tends to ignore the subtle universe, and they don't excercise their subtle body - the body that will remain for a time after the physical body dies.

I don't know if that distinctness is what is sounds like, but I know that consciousness can survive physical death, at least for a time. Whether or not it is able to continue to remain distinct after the initial transition, i think depends on the training that consciousness has had in being aware of it's environment, and it's ability to act within that environment. In the case of physical death, the environment becomes purely energetic in nature. So, I spend a great deal of time learning to distinguish between my physical self and my energetic self. There are moments of 'enlightenment' in which I feel fully aware of my energy, the part of me that inhabits the body, and there are moments when i get wrapped up and weighed down by mundane affairs of life. It's funny to think, sometimes, that I have has visions of the beginning of time, talked to entities outside my native dimensions, and made the rain stop, but still get bummed about not having a lover sometimes. I think it's important to always remember that even an exceptional human being is still human being.

So, learning to understand, use, and be aware of the subtle universe is the core of my work, and has as it's goal, the survival of physical death. I'm also learning more every day about what it means for my life, how it allows me to navigate the world and identify the truth in what's happening around me. People wear so many masks, and collectively we derive naturally, several dimensions of falsehood in our society. Commercialism, Education, the professional world, all of these parts of society have illusions projected onto them by a society full of individuals who live inside these illusions. It think that is why, over time, many seekers often find that the world is becoming more and more unkind and false, while at the same time seeing it's wonder and mystery - at first, we see the illusion and the reality as the same, we're taught to include them together in one view. As those views seperate, the illusion seems that much more futile and harmful without the benefit of the reality behind it, and the reality becomes that much more mysterious and amazing without the hinderance of the illusion over it.

peace