I'm A Bad Christian- Thinking About Doing This...... Options

OK folks, let me tell a little about myself. I'm a new member here, and am interested in this bussiness. This is bothering me a'lot. I have always been drawn to the occult since my Grandfather was posessed (and got rid of the wretched familiar thankfully) when I was little. Big family secret. Thank God he got rid of this thing, but this is still in part a generational curse. Now , your probably wondering why a Christian would involve himself with something nasty such as demon summoning right? Well, the answer is the same Saul gave in Endor- I need to "know"-even if I get kicked in the stomach. I desire several things for this evocation, first, I wish for certain knowledge. Second, I want to plead to the evil beings which (have the legal authority to continue thanks to my foolishness) to stop messing with my family (as I said- this is a generational thing. the familiar left my grandfather but he still torments my family from occasion to occasion. All thanks to these damn books on the occult he had tsc tsc). Anyway, this is my first evocation, I hate this bussiness but I'm really worried about a series of things. I have chosen the Demon Paimon and shall follow the Greater key/Legemeton procedures. Why such a fierce infernal king for a first summoning? Easy: I wish to contact a being who though clearly fallen still wishes to serve God in some measure and worships him above all things. A contrite being. I have read accounts here and elsewhere that Paimon has utter contempt for individuals who don't fear God. He loathes disobedient pricks, he detests occultists and magicians. He requires respect from the summoner.Excellent. I want a wise spirit. The ceremony is set, but I really fear (considering family history) that the possession factor could be very real. Your opinion?

At the same time, you have no assurance that:

A) This isn't a Macbeth-esque scenario where they "help you" only to see your complete damnation....

B) You'll never know who your dealing with.See above

C)The same God you invoke as protection against them demanded that you be put to death in elder days for invoking these entities....hardly sounds like "protection", more like God allowing these tools to be constructed for the purpose of temptation and testing and these beings salivating for a soul to corrupt receiving legal authority to do so because you were a prick and disobeyed an express commandment and deserve it....

so I'm not trying ANYTHING, anytime soon. Nope. I'm leaving this for the time being. Maybe later when I don't have family to worry about.

At the same time, you have no assurance that:

A) This isn't a Macbeth-esque scenario where they "help you" only to see your complete damnation....

Every instance of magick can become this if you're open to the possibility. Not just evokation and dealing with spirits. Getting a new job can seem to be a good thing, and then ruin your life. So, don't be so paranoid. Someone else mentioned the role of your emotional control and mastery. If your fear rules you, you're already under 'someone elses' control.

B) You'll never know who your dealing with.See above

I sure as h*ll do (pun intended (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif) ). So do most magicians worth their salt - but then, we are certain without a doubt that who we call is who will pick up the phone. Then we test them if we're wise, to be even more sure, and if it's not them, you better know they'll fess up if you validate their identity.

C)The same God you invoke as protection against them demanded that you be put to death in elder days for invoking these entities....hardly sounds like "protection", more like God allowing these tools to be constructed for the purpose of temptation and testing and these beings salivating for a soul to corrupt receiving legal authority to do so because you were a prick and disobeyed an express commandment and deserve it....

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who told you that? In 'elder days' magicians, men who could heal, bring about good fortune, and command spirits in an age when possession was waaaay more common and there was virtually no solid science to guide the peoples' crazy opinions about how the world works didn't get out of hand, magicians were holy men, revered in most places as being closer to God, and having a better knowledge of his will - in fact, it was believed in judaic (i.e. where christ came from) that the knowledge of God was sacred and could only be attained by holy men. Look at all of the grimoires that were spawned from those roots - all of them require extensive measures to purify oneself and be 'close to god'. Now that doesn't necessarily men that being close to God is what makes that work - although who's to say what it means to be close to God? - but it does mean that the original perspective was one of reverence and the appreciation of Godliness, not in dark pagan rituals and burning on sight. That didn't come around for thousands of years.

Also, as a former devout christian myself who eventually left because of the corruption of what was originally a decent message, I would remind you that there are only ten commandments that, as a christian, constitute your agreement with God through Christ. If you're jewish, now that could be another matter but I don't know. Christ, though, said that his covenant was the new covenant. "Keep my father's commandments and this..." I forget which extra one he included, but it hadn't anything to do with the occult. In fact, Christ and a few other figures command spirits in the bible several times, so what makes you think you're damning yourself by looking into this?

so I'm not trying ANYTHING, anytime soon. Nope. I'm leaving this for the time being. Maybe later when I don't have family to worry about.

Good idea, right now you're waaaay to emotionally messed up to take this seriously, and unleashing these sorts of things when you're still so easy to manipulate will probably ruin your life for good. As much as you're a christian, you don't seem to have a whole lot of faith that God will protect you - what did you think that faith was supposed to be used for anyway? What do you think Faith is? Until you figure that out, best to keep a distance.

However, opening your mind and doing a little research and reflection, will probably do you a lot of good. Try some of the other grimoires. The Arbatel, or maybe the Enochian systems, might look better to you than the Goetia, and as others have said, deal with different classes of entities.

peace