Why Scorcer, Witch, Magi? Options

We all have some reason for studying our craft what ever we call it. For some its to help others. For others its to help our selfs and still others its power. There are a host of other reasons. What is your reason? Has it changed? Has it stayed the same? Please put your thoughts and musings down and share them. We may learn something from others or learn something about our selfs.

My purpose has always been in one way or another the same. To understand myself, and then to take what I've found and use it to influence the world. When I truly understand myself then I will truly understand my life, the things in it, the people around me, and the ones I call friends, family, lover, etc. What I want to know, in its basic form, is "why". Why anything is, what the underlying force and reason of the seemingly random events cloaking our lives are, what they stand for, what they metaphorically mean to me, as a human, as a man, as a husband, a brother and a son. Why I am the way I am, what makes me thus, what explains the basic elements of the universe and basically, in all sense of the word, a general "Why?"

In essence, I choose my path based on what works for me. I have learned to use Twilight without being a sorcerer, and I learned at a very early age that I can manipulate the Astral to my benefit. I learned later that by invoking the names of spirits I could bargain with them to certain means, and how to summon, enchant, and bind spirits. I stepped into the field of necromancy long ago, only to find that it's a barrier one cannot step back across. I still fight with myself on a spiritual basis, given that I've technically and legally died, three times during my short life thus far. I have at once, understood everything and understood that I cannot understand everything, that's a foolish endeavor as everything always changes.

In a short sentence to summarize things: I've been many places and seen many things; but I have only surmised that the true field of human knowledge is at once unattainable and intrinsic to the human soul, and to go anywhere in a spiritual and literal sense we have to go nowhere - The seventh direction is the self. I am a Wizard, a Sorcerer, a Necromancer, a Witch, an Enchanter, and yet I am none of these things because none of these things are truly me. I am simply me, and I'll find my own way to describe things.

To throw that all back into one word: Discovery.

The quest for knowledge, is why I started.

You know, I gave this a good read once or twice, after thinking about my own reasons. But, I have to say I agree with Palindoem 100%. I mean, I've come up with lots of applications of magick in my life, but are they themselves the reasons I do it? Not really, because to date every application has just sort of 'occured' in life and then been evidently beneficial thereafter. Originally, I didn't really do magick to improve my life, I did it for power like any other teenager. Power to make myself known and stand out and be unique, etc.

But, when I first opened my mind to it, when I was a child, it was just curiosity. And, ever since, curiosity has been the reason. It's there, so why not? Explore it, see what it can do, what it means. I think the main reason most people don't explore it is because someone told them there was no such thing as magic and that it was foolish to think about it. So, they never try, never explore, never ask The Question, and so don't find it.

Does having an agenda after you have gotten some answers to that first question, count as a new 'reason' to practice and pursue magick? Or is that just justification to keep searching?

Having asked myself these questions, I find palindroem's reasons to be rather illuminating. Thanks.

Nowadays, I justify my curiosity by directing my questions at the nature of consciousness and human potential. I want to influence evolution in some way. Spriitually, scientifically, psychologically, whatever. I want to do what I can to further Global Ascension. Romantically, I imagine a distant future when every human on earth is aware of one another, and aware of the planet, and the universe, and we understand perfectly our role in everything. Like, waaay distant future. Anyway, I think if you pick an intention, devote yourself to it, and follow the path you find, through magick or whatever other means, you get there eventually, with diligence and faith. So, it's hard to say exactly what it is I want to do to further such a cause, but then, my goals were much simpler when I was new, so they may become more complex as I become old.

Originally, i used magick to empower myself, usually over others in some way. I grew up a little, got burned a few times, and settled on power for power's sake. Then I got restless and wasteful, and finally did magick to explore myself, which was more true to the real reason behind getting involved in the first place. I still do, largely, but lately I do magick to understand the connections in the world around me - for curiosity's sake, but in furtherance of an, I believe, just cause.

I have to say, though, that looking back on it, the time at which I had the most intense experiences for the first time was when I did magick to explore myself, just to know. Which makes it seem as though my magick was more in line with my 'true will' and so happened almost effortlessly, not that it's terribly difficult now. Perhaps staying true to a cause of pure curiosity will not only gain me a sort of renaissance from my teens, but perhaps offer perspective into the elusive state of 'no expectation' that can often be so difficult to hold perspective from. It seems that that state can only be pure curiosity, it's the only state in which we want to know because we don't know, we open our minds to receive an answer.

This was a longer post than I originally intended. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blablabla.gif)

Peace