Fried Circuits, Burnt Fuses, And Blown Gaskets, Spirit repair advice please! Options

OK! well, this being my first actual post of any real material, I will try to start it off cool, if I can. Story time! Here goes:

So basically, I start out learning what I can....

...Ok. No problem.

I start experimenting with magicks and esoterica....

...Ok. Fine.

Once I gain momentum, I have a hard time slowing down...

...Wait, what?

In the heyday of my spiritual development, I was able to make psi-balls, change traffic lights, and cause astral-temporal distortions. Even so, there was one ominous factor in all this: I could never willfully astral project, no matter how powerful I got. I never really minded it until now. It turned out to be an omen of how healthy my spirit was at the time. So, how did I accomplish all that in such a short period of time? Long story short, I approached metaphysics, spirituality, magick, etc. with an Isshinryu*1 type of approach...

*1 Isshinryu is a martial art where instead of making an obvious defense, one defends themselves by routing the opponent's offensive by attacking their offensive rather than the opponent themself, in essence negating the attack.

... and basically ending up having a decent amount of time where I blew off the idea of grounding and shielding, and actually doing pretty well without it until I stepped on too many toes and the Karmic Bureau of Bounty Hunters were on my ass. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/butcher.gif) Yeah, I didn;t ahve to defend, when i could just negate any oppositions...until that happened.

One experience after another, my world came tumbling down. No more perfect speech patterns. No more dipping into latent past life memories for languages. No more pursuasion. No more healing others. No more counseling for trauma in friends. I was left off in a spiritual state something to the idea of someone with an intermediate to very advanced level of gnostic awareness with the spiritual vulnerability of a televangelist. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sculacciata.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/baby.gif) ...Not a pretty picture. It was pretty hard to endure, and I learned something from the esoteric path of the "School of Hard knocks."

Well, it's nothing THAT bad. Maybe I exxagerated what I went through a bit too much. Either way, it was pretty damn ugly. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/uglyhammer.gif) Hey! At least I still kept my knowledge, and I am still writing magick and other theories to this day. Ideas are still flowing, So I was not cut off, but at the same time I have no way to really describe it.

Now, how do I describe the next part? Well...

*WARNING. GIANT METAPHORIC STORY USED AS A COMPARATIVE FIGURE. PLEASE EXCERCISE CAUTION. THANK YOU*

So basically, what to do if a circuit gets fried, you try to replace the parts, but there is still live energy flowing through it, pretty much almost the same amount that fried it in the first place? Like, (ok I dont know what kinds of standards they come in, so I will make one up) say that a small capacitor is blown, the resistors are melted, and the insulation is stripped, and there is still live energy? What is needed is a large capacitor, stronger resistors, stronger insulation, and generally a wider width to the current, right? So what's standard? Figure out a way to isolate the part away from energy so one can make the parts switch, fasten the parts, sodder them in if needed, and then release it from isolation, right?

Now comes the hard part.

So say my spirit after all my experiences, due to lack of rooting and shielding, has left me like a fried circuit? How do I replace the parts I need, but still avoid a total meltdown from so much damn ambient energy that I accumulated overtime? Some things and possibilities to consider:

1. This may not be the case. I could just be thinking too much.
2. try to find a hobby in contrast to using everyday spirit energies to work all the time.
3. Stop bad habits like smoking (mild psionic scrambling) and excessive masturbation (tantric release) to regulate energies and to keep the "live energy" from spilling out and then totally messing me up.
4. I need to find out how to properly shield, now that after so much time, rooting has finally been novicely grasped!

If my story or manner of speech confuses you, I severely apologize. I find it to be somewhat of a side effect of an improper approach, crash, and recovery from my incident(s) as mentioned above.

OR

Even shorter story, I pulled an Icarus, and above are the details. Any help based on all of this?

Any feedback, input, etc. is greatly appreciated.

This post has been edited by WyrdScience: Dec 28 2006, 02:08 PM

I once went through a similar experience. It was after I had pushed myself too hard to attain massive amounts of power, and I found myself constantly blacking out. I couldn't handle it all. On top of that, two days after my mother had died, I went back to school, and a good friend of mine kept telling me about his bad day and how I didn't even understand his pain. Only, when I told him my mom had died, he didn't believe me, and told me to stop joking about that because it wasn't funny. Then... He just kept saying "Your mom" to agitate me. "That's what your mom said". "Not funny, shut up or I will not be able to control myself."

Now, when I get angry, my friends start getting nervous. Not entirely sure why, but most people in high school thought I was prone to psychopathic rages. I don't really recall any such events. Until then. The energy just leapt into my veins and I catapulted myself up and over two cafeteria benches, slammed him into a pillar and began to beat the living hell out of him. So I'm told. I blacked out, truth be told. But my brother, now a specialist second class in the army, around 6'5, 300 pounds of muscle; my best friend Jason, around 250 pounds, 5'11", and my friend Nick, a giant of a man, around 6'9", 325 pounds, about half muscle, all had to struggle to pull me away from him. This is what my very rattled friend tells me after the fact, the one that hardly speaks. Apparently I scared the crap out of everyone in the cafeteria, and the principal was about ready to call the cops when I "woke up".

After that, I figured the only real way to deal with so much pent-up emotion and angst-ridden energy, since it was all negative, was to basically set up an ambient bleed in myself. I took a good look at where most of my energy was, and went a couple feet down, and sliced a razor-thin gash in my aura/protective field. After about a month, I was fine. It's worth noting that if I hadn't set up a slow bleed like I did, I probably would have had a panic attack or something, as the sudden release of all that keeps you alive and running is not so happy. And to this day, I think about that and I hold myself back from getting so angry. It's a scary thought... I almost killed him. I apparently punched him in the throat a couple times, too. And, needless to say, he doesn't call me anymore.

My advice is to look at yourself, analyze the options, and think of what the best detour would be. For instance, in your example, sometimes the best way to get around such a conundrum is to totally break the circuit. Remove the whole board from its power, not just the capacitors or the insulators. After all, broken capacitors will hold electricity for a good six hours in a VCR alone. Enough to seriously shock the crap out of you, if you're not careful. I would know.