Fried Circuits, Burnt Fuses, And Blown Gaskets, Spirit repair advice please! Options

OK! well, this being my first actual post of any real material, I will try to start it off cool, if I can. Story time! Here goes:

So basically, I start out learning what I can....

...Ok. No problem.

I start experimenting with magicks and esoterica....

...Ok. Fine.

Once I gain momentum, I have a hard time slowing down...

...Wait, what?

In the heyday of my spiritual development, I was able to make psi-balls, change traffic lights, and cause astral-temporal distortions. Even so, there was one ominous factor in all this: I could never willfully astral project, no matter how powerful I got. I never really minded it until now. It turned out to be an omen of how healthy my spirit was at the time. So, how did I accomplish all that in such a short period of time? Long story short, I approached metaphysics, spirituality, magick, etc. with an Isshinryu*1 type of approach...

*1 Isshinryu is a martial art where instead of making an obvious defense, one defends themselves by routing the opponent's offensive by attacking their offensive rather than the opponent themself, in essence negating the attack.

... and basically ending up having a decent amount of time where I blew off the idea of grounding and shielding, and actually doing pretty well without it until I stepped on too many toes and the Karmic Bureau of Bounty Hunters were on my ass. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/butcher.gif) Yeah, I didn;t ahve to defend, when i could just negate any oppositions...until that happened.

One experience after another, my world came tumbling down. No more perfect speech patterns. No more dipping into latent past life memories for languages. No more pursuasion. No more healing others. No more counseling for trauma in friends. I was left off in a spiritual state something to the idea of someone with an intermediate to very advanced level of gnostic awareness with the spiritual vulnerability of a televangelist. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sculacciata.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/baby.gif) ...Not a pretty picture. It was pretty hard to endure, and I learned something from the esoteric path of the "School of Hard knocks."

Well, it's nothing THAT bad. Maybe I exxagerated what I went through a bit too much. Either way, it was pretty damn ugly. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/uglyhammer.gif) Hey! At least I still kept my knowledge, and I am still writing magick and other theories to this day. Ideas are still flowing, So I was not cut off, but at the same time I have no way to really describe it.

Now, how do I describe the next part? Well...

*WARNING. GIANT METAPHORIC STORY USED AS A COMPARATIVE FIGURE. PLEASE EXCERCISE CAUTION. THANK YOU*

So basically, what to do if a circuit gets fried, you try to replace the parts, but there is still live energy flowing through it, pretty much almost the same amount that fried it in the first place? Like, (ok I dont know what kinds of standards they come in, so I will make one up) say that a small capacitor is blown, the resistors are melted, and the insulation is stripped, and there is still live energy? What is needed is a large capacitor, stronger resistors, stronger insulation, and generally a wider width to the current, right? So what's standard? Figure out a way to isolate the part away from energy so one can make the parts switch, fasten the parts, sodder them in if needed, and then release it from isolation, right?

Now comes the hard part.

So say my spirit after all my experiences, due to lack of rooting and shielding, has left me like a fried circuit? How do I replace the parts I need, but still avoid a total meltdown from so much damn ambient energy that I accumulated overtime? Some things and possibilities to consider:

1. This may not be the case. I could just be thinking too much.
2. try to find a hobby in contrast to using everyday spirit energies to work all the time.
3. Stop bad habits like smoking (mild psionic scrambling) and excessive masturbation (tantric release) to regulate energies and to keep the "live energy" from spilling out and then totally messing me up.
4. I need to find out how to properly shield, now that after so much time, rooting has finally been novicely grasped!

If my story or manner of speech confuses you, I severely apologize. I find it to be somewhat of a side effect of an improper approach, crash, and recovery from my incident(s) as mentioned above.

OR

Even shorter story, I pulled an Icarus, and above are the details. Any help based on all of this?

Any feedback, input, etc. is greatly appreciated.

This post has been edited by WyrdScience: Dec 28 2006, 02:08 PM

(all of Masery's Post)

Ya know, that may be entirely possible. I was about to post on that possibility, actually.

After so much debate with everyone in my heyday, I just really didn't believe in their power anymore. I didn't like their approach, I didn't like their belief. It didn't fit me, but I still wanted a place to belong. Reguardless of how wrong their reality was to me, as long as I had a place in it, I had a home, for as much as I cared.

Now, though, my thoughts are returning to myself. All those other theories and whatnot....I don't know what to make of it. They make sense in a way, but not my way. It's as if *METAPHOR WARNING* I left for like, a decade to another country and I didn't belong, but I was there for anthropology, and I started to believe in the ways and customs. But, after a while, I had to leave, and realize it wasn't my place, even though it gave me something to hold on to. *end metaphor*

In this light, then I DO know what I am about, problem is....

I can't find it/it doesn't exist anymore/no one may be tolerant/these times aren't meant for it/other doubts or other logical antitheses.

Well, i got some meditating to do. This is gonna be some work, definetely...

Wow....what a wake up call...