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Ok, this is the arguement that's going on in my mind. Yes, I have doubts about this. I wonder if I really am transgendered. But then, I wonder if that doubt isn't some form of denial. And I realise that, say, if I got a prescription for hormones tomorrow, and started taking them, that I could be making a HUGE mistake, that I may just be really confused.
I'm not a doctor but I'd highly recomend that you do not undergo any hormone thearopy until you are at least 20. Not just because I think you need time to figure yourself out but because your body is still developing on its own natural course and introducing hormones now could cause a lot problems.
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I ask myself, if this is just something that I've clung onto, an identity that I've clung onto because any identity is better than none, why would I choose one that I know will give me a hard life? I mean, if it's just something like that, why didn't I cling onto an identity that was.....male? And then I think that I can't be 100% sure that I'm a girl stuck in a guy's body. But then, I think, I can't be 100% sure that this doubt is true either.
You haven't started growing breast on your own have you? You're not a hermaphrodite right? Physically speaking you're 100% male. Mentally, however, thats where the conflict of identity is comming from. Mentally you may or may not be a girl piloting a male body. How can we know this? How can anybody decide the gender of one's soul? Some say follow what your heart tells you. Novel advice, but my problem with following my heart is that it only feels, it don't directly speak english to me. In dealing with this conflict of personal identity I think you should seek advice from a councilor. Don't jump my case about this suggestion I don't think you're insane and besides we all have points in our lives where a councilor would come in handy. I do think you need help sorting out the details of your issue. I will say that any councilor you choose should be somebody who is open minded enough to at least accept the possibility that you may really be a girl. Don't seek counciling from anybody who'd just try to make you conform with your biology - nor the opposite either.
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*Is 2:15 am my time, I'm prolly rambling a bit, lol*
Rambling is a sign that you may have a slot of stuff to vent - more reason to seek counciling.
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Why do I think I'd be happier as a girl? Because my mind tells me I should be a girl physically. Because it hurts every day, looking in the mirror and seeing this male thing stare back at you.
I'm still curious about why you seem to have such a negative self image. That male thing staring back at you is how your mom and dad's DNA made you turn out -its you in this life time. There's nothing wrong about that. Again your statement further suggests to me that you should seek advice from a professional - your negative self image may be caused by depression or anxiety (or both), not your gender. The point is I think you need assistance in sorting out what you're going through right now. Once you've dealt with these feelings I think you'll be much more certain weather or not you are a male or female.
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The night I told my best friend Tim about me being a girl, he was a lot more ok with it than I'd thought he'd be. But he thought that I was just really confused. He said, "I bet that by the time you're 18 you'll realise you're a guy."
Maybe he's right, which is another reason why I think you should wait until you're older before you make any radical changes to yourself.
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And he asked me, what makes you think you're a girl? And I asked him, what makes you think you're a guy? Just because you have a male body?
Well actually there is some psychology to gender identity. Sometimes when babies are born doctors mis-identitify the gender - a large clitorus sometimes makes the baby designated as a boy and a small penis makes the baby a girl. The parents, having no reason to question the doctor then proceed to raise their kid as a girl or boy when they're actually the opposite. There have even been a few cases where the parents raised their kids into adolesants as though they were the gender they really weren't. Because of this psychologist have learned that some of these babies develope believing they are the opposite sex - they play with male or female toys, they wear gender associated clothes, their rooms are dolled up appropriately, their parents talk to them as though they were a girl or boy and introduce them to others like wise. And growing up like this to then suddenly realize that you're really the opposite sex can have profound affects.
You seem to be the opposite - it is possible instead of having your gender mis-identified your body didn't develope the same gender as your mind did. maybe your DNA didn' recognize the gender of your soul? Who knows.
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I had a girlfriend. Her name is Nadia, and I had known for a while that she really liked me. And I came out to her. She was totally ok with it. A few weeks later, she asked me out. I said, ok. But you do realise that you're going out with a girl, right? And she said, "Oh, it doesn't matter, you're still a guy on the outside." I broke up with her after two days.
You seem to be in a really conflicted point in your life. While relationships with the opposite sex are healthy, I think it would be hard for your to really have a long lasting and loving relationship with a heterosexual girl if you are transforming your body into a that of a female. In my humble opinion I think you should exploit your God given "fruits" with the opposite sex -safely of course, if you haven't already - before you transform yourself. This way you'll at least know to the full extent what it was like to be male. I think it will help you truely decide what you believe about yourself.
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Hehe, all this talk of snipping off particular body parts reminds me of Rabbi Tuckman and his guillotine circumsciser
lol yeah it does
This post has been edited by Acid09: Jan 4 2007, 06:04 PM
Hello, Anybody Know Anything About This?
polite.heretic Hello, Anybody Know Anything About This? Jan 1 2007, 10:12 PM
Jan 1 2007, 10:12 PM
