Hello, Anybody Know Anything About This? Options

Hello everyone!

I'm Jenny, and I'm transsexual. In other words, I'm a girl stuck in a guy's body. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/weeping.gif) I've been looking on the net for about a year and a half for some way to fix the issue of me being transsexual i.e., ....turn myself into a girl. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wish.gif)

So, my uestion is, has anybody here ever heard of someone changing into a member of the opposite sex because of/with magic? Has anyone heard of any methods? Anyone have any ideas where I could look? *besides Occultforums.com, there was a HUGE thread on the subject there before some hacker destroyed everything..... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/tickedoff.gif) * Any ideas, please let me know.

Oh, and yes, I already know about estrogen, but at my age I would have to go thru my mom to get it, and besides her not being keen on the idea at all, I don't know if I could get it prescribed...... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/unsure.gif)

So, anyway, any input on the subject would be greatly appreciated! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

Thanks a bunch,
Jenny (IMG:style_emoticons/default/dry.gif)

P.S. Sorry if it sounds like I'm spell begging.....

This post has been edited by polite.heretic: Jan 1 2007, 10:18 PM

I am depressed. I'm currently on two anti-depressants (Lexapro & Wellbutrin), and I see a councelor every other Monday.

Thats hardcore stuff and taken together? Well I assume the lexapro is for anxiety (possibly caused by you level of inner conflict) and the welbutrin is for the depression (which probably results from a variety of factors -ie your body's developement and the after math of your inner conflict).

When the mind is suffering from such complex internal debates - in your case your gender identity - it causes a reaction in your body. Your chemicals get out of balance. Your issues cause fear and worry - you might think things like 'something's wrong with me, I don't know about the future, what will other people think, what if...(insert what you like)'?

The fear and worry tax your body of it's saratonine resulting in anxiety (in some people this can cause panic attacks). The result of this is not enough, or too much in some cases, saratonine. This causes you to become depressed, and more so than you would normally because of your age. You suffer the affects of depression and it causes more negative thinking - I'm not good enough, I can't accomplish anything, people are out to get me - any number of other thoughts. Then there are the physiological side affects as well - the anxiety may cause periods of agitation, panic attacks, restlessness and so on. The depression causes periods of anger, saddness, lethargy, even neusea.

It all feeds a cycle - your thinking causes fear and worry, which causes the accelerated depression. The physical affects only further the complex because you realize something IS wrong with you and it triggers the negative thinking all over again.

Taken all of this together I think its safe to say that your problem with your gender identity is actually a result of other underlying issues. We don't need to get into those and it would be off topic to do so. The point I'm making is that you seem so overwhelmed right now that I don't think you are certain one way or the other that you are indeed a girl. Thus to make the choice to take hormone thearopy at this stage would only further upset your state of being.

I'm not saying you're not a girl. I'm saying you need time to figure it all out. And right now I think you should at least try to accept the possibility that you are facing several other issues and your gender issue is just the one on top of the pile right now. It is also possible that your gender issue is not because you really are a girl, you're just suffering from several other factors that make you think you are a girl. As you sort all of this out and get older, your mind will settle from this inner turmoil and then you will have the mental focus to really challenge your gender.

The only reason I have such a negative self image about my body is because of this gender identity issue. Half the girls in my band class are ga-ga for me, lol. I think that as a man, I don't look half bad. I'm skinny, not very muscular, I don't do any sports, but I don't think of myself as looking horrible as a guy. I just don't want to look "handsome".

Being handsome to you may set expectations - the handsome people are popular, popular people have to act a certain way. This can lead to the negative thinking which causes all the other symptoms. The " I just don't want to look handsome" bit tells me that this is an example of other issues clouding your mind.

I might feel a little guilty if I was only doing it to help figure something out about myself though, like I was using her ....I don't know. But no, I do want to do that before I transition.

Do it to enjoy it - just be responsible about it. You seem intelligent enough to know what I mean.

Yup. I've sort of come to a point where I think, well, if I can't be sure about this, how can I be 100% sure of anything else about me? Prolly a lot of that is just me being a teenager, but having arguements with yourself about if what you feel about yourself is true, all of the circular thinking, oy...!

I would ask your councelor about this before you try it, but maybe what would help you out is some roleplaying. Roleplaying can be healthy as long as one is able to keep it in their head that thats all it is. In this case maybe try cross dressing. Hell maybe next halloween really make an impression and go out as a girl (maybe even a girl vampire or something). - Just remember its only roleplaying, biologically you are still male. What really matters is that you look yourself in the mirror - both as a male and as a female.

At first, spend time doing this privately because you might stir up unwanted negative attention that would only make matters worse - with the exception being Halloween. The purpose of such an excercise is to help you decide which makes you feel the best. And what I mean is that you are able to stare yourself in the mirror and confidently say; yep this way feels the most right.

Once you are older and graduated, when the chances for negative attention are low, then go out in public and act like a girl. Ideally you'd look feminine enough that few would recognize you. Experience life as a cross dresser and see what it does for you. If you suddenly realize walking in high heels isn't for you, you can just change your clothes. This way there is no permanent change. And this would also help you figure out who you really are. Once you're confident enough then its time to see who your family and friends will react - keep in mind that what ever you choose to do to yourself you should keep your family's emotions in mind as well.

Another thing that floats around in my head is, what if I'm using the excuse that I'm transgendered to explain why I want to be a girl? I don't think that I am, but I can't really be totally certain that I'm not. I really am my worst enemy when it comes to arguing logically with myself.

I think you should really consider the realities of the situation - not just the 'why am I' but the end results.

On one hand you have the male you, John.

Pros - I take it you have the correct anatomical equipment and appearance. John is a relatively handsome male, who aside from some temporary mental problems is totally healthy and popular amungst his peers. John is you as your DNA has made you to be.

Cons - John is depressed and probably suffers from anxiety as well. These may be the result of other issues that need to be dealt with seperately. John has a conflict of personal identity and believes that in the greater scheme of things he got cheated out of his true gender and was made male instead of female. John is not happy.

So lets consider the other side:

Jenny is you as a girl.
Pros - Jenny looks and acts like a girl. She's probably attractive and confident (at least in your eyes). It is an identity that you believe would allow you to acomplish the most out life and create the most happiness. Being female is not having the prior limmitations of being male. You would not have to contend with your masculine issues.

Cons - Jenny does not have the biology of a female. She would have to undergo special treatment to have her male body transformed into the *likeness* of a woman. This alone could cause nasty side affects. Jenny will never have her own birth canal, or overies. The bone structure of your jaw and hips will remain that of a man. You'd have to take hormone suppliments for the rest of your life to prevent your voice from deepening or your breast from dissappearing. The innitial surgury will transform your genitles into the likeness of a vagina - but it would not function the same way. You won't be able to produce your own lubricant or enjoy an orgasm in the likeness of a real woman either. If your real identity were known by others you'd risk being misjudged - people may not want to hire you or be in a relationship with you. Society would reject you. This may not really matter to you, but your family (even just specific members) may dis-own you.

Family - when considering all this don't just think about what you want, but what those who love you want as well.

Now these are only my observations and meant only to serve as an example. You should take this model and add your own pros and cons to both sides. The purpose of this is to help your mind rationally consider the results of the options.

Finally, Jenny you know what you want and you should be allowed to achieve all of it. However, not at the expense of those who love you as you are. If changing your gender would alienate you from your family, or friends, possibly leaving them emotionally scared, I cannot concieve how you would be any happier in life.