Gnosis Exercise, can't jizz in public Options

I'm looking for ways to make the gnosis more easier for the armchair magicians.

No stand-up swirling , spinning ,masturbation...something that can be done while seated.

Meditation seems like a good idea,but gnosis to me seems closer to the dhyana/jhana stages of eastern mystics which apparantly takes years to attain.
(Someone please prove me wrong here!)- so i've lost interest in that too.

Sneezing is good .(As long as we dont get to the stage where pepper does nothing for us)

I liked Sherwin's (?) body spasm technique -by twitching all parts of the body one- by -one(has anybody tried this?)

Are there any other techniques similar to this?

Anybody got an Inhibitory gnosis handbook (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

this may be useful or not - i wrote something awhile ago that gives an altered state - using the brain itself to trick the brain into an altered state

left brain vs right brain

sit quietly, close your eyes, breathe out slowly for 5 seconds, then work really hard (in your head) on a large number addition problem or number series (count from 0 to 66 by 3's or like that where you have to think - don't let it get repetitive or slip away) where it requires the brain to think logically (left brain), coloring each result with a particular color you associate with that number (right brain), and then burst the final result into a huge swarm of tiny pretty confetti like fish (left brain) that move around as a school (right brain), then color each individual fish a particular color from the number series (both brains), then the fish come out your head and swim around wherever you are, schooling and shoaling (and hiding all sorts of places when they're scared by sounds, etc!) - open your eyes and look around - its almost a dream-like state with body gone and it lasts fairly long, especially if you keep very still and are still seeing the fish

can this altered state be used for gnosis? guess it depends on how you use it - what do you do once you're there? just sit there and experience it, basking in the gliow, or do you ask questions and listen for answers or what? what questions do you ask? are they the same questions each time?

as usual, y'all got me thinking!