Is it far fetched to think that somebody proficient in Thelema who I had been associating with for a long time could have had a telepathic connection with me. In this case its my old. Probably just because I knew he was into Thelema and magick I wondered if he could telepathically connect to me or read my mind but a few weird things happened between us.

One that sticks out the most is this. Its a long story. The guys a fuckin prick and fucked over everybody around him including me so I didnt mind fucking with him every now and again. One week I using him to get driving lessons off his neighbour and I completely took advantage of the fact that hes the kind of guy that cant say no. Since hes an a$%*#!* himself and exploited loads of people I didnt give a shit about exploiting him a bit. I was pressuring him into asking his neighbour could I use his car a bit. I could see he hated it but I didnt care. I considered it compensation for the money he owed me. Every now and again when id think about how I was taking advantage of him and how I was being even slyer than he was id see a reaction in his face. Hed kind of cringe. It was as if he could hear my thoughts.

Anyway I noticed in that time period every morning id wake up remembering just a flash of a dream in which I would see or think about my dad and there would be these extreme bad feelings that came along with the dream. I thought nothing of it I just thought because im hanging around with an a$%*#!* I get these bad feelings. While I was sitting in his appartment the same days I had the dreams Id be in a slight daze and wouldnt pay much attention to what he was saying not just because all I gave a f%*! about was getting driving lessons but also because he talked so much bullshit in one day I physically couldnt listen to all of it. Anyway what hed say was "Its times like these we have to pay close attention to our dreams". Hed said that before to me and I thought nothing of it I just thought it was his usual meaningless bullshit but id remember the dreams I had in which I had a single thought of him and had these real bad feelings with them.

In the same time period one night I was on speed playing the computer and something really weird happened. I got new memories of a dream which was a vision of my dad and these bad feelings with it but the weird thing was I hadnt even fallen asleep. I was wide awake I know that because I was in the middle of writing something on the computer and I couldnt have fallen asleep. Although I was in a bit of a hypnotic state writing it so maybe I drifted off without realizing it.

Shit really hit the fan a couple of days later when I had my first speed induced psychotic episode in which I had a conversation with a voice in my head that sounded and talked exactly like my dad and even claimed to be him. It said things only he would say and at one point I got a flashback of those dreams and saw the vision of my dad and felt the unpleasant feelings assossiated with it and the voice said "Its not a good feeling between me and you is it?" at one point I said something about the bad feelings and the voice said "Its not bad feeling its the stress you put on me".

Now im not really the irrational type before this happened if I read somebody writing what im writing id think theyre insane but in this case I wouldnt be the slightest bit surprised if there was some sort of telepathic connection. I dont just think that because hes studied magick for about 20 years. There was always something really weird. He was always trying to offer me things in his house. Mostly clothes. Nothing weird about that but the fact that he was so persistant and he got angry when I wouldnt take them. When Id refuse everything he offered me not because I didnt wanna take anything from him just because I didnt need the shit he was offering hed say "Your a real fucker" or "your a real bastard" implying that I was being a a$%*#!* or trying to insult him by not taking them from him. I thought he was just trying to slowly pay off the money he owed me but after reading up on magick I think it could have been something more. Could he have been using that to make some sort of psychic connection?

Some other weird things about him is the fact he said things to me but denied ever having said it or done it after. Heres some examples.

1.) Very long time ago he says to me with a really serious face "Im a witch doctor". I broke my ass laughing and I asked him about it a month or two later and he denied having said it.

2.) Another time he asked me "Having you started hearing thoughts yet?" I replied no and didnt ask him to elaborate and when I was more interested a few months after I asked him about it and he denied having said it. Like all the other

3.) He told me he had stabbed someone and then after hearing this voice say hed stabbed 3 people and would do it again I asked my dad how many times hed stabbed someone and he says "Ive never stabbed anyone"

4.) I think even in the same conversation he told me he had purged his soul in south america and I think he mentioned one of the reasons he did it was because he killed someone for money and his soul was stained because of it. Once again when I asked him about it he says he never purged his soul or said anything like that. Although he did admit having been in South America once.

5.) I was sitting at the table talking to him and he showed me his book Sefir Yetzirah and said first "When you chant certain words from this book you feel uplifted" but I think I remember him mentioning he had the ability to spiritually poke people from long distances and he said he did it to his friend and he got a fright. Once again he denied having said that. Now maybe that psychotic episode implanted some false memories or maybe im remembering dreams and cant decipher it from reality because Ive heard this guy say so much bullshit in my life time nothing surprises me.

Theres a reoccuring theme here. Every time id be in my single tracked mind only caring about one thing and not paying much attention to what hed be saying and only way after when Id think back about it id be interested then when I ask him about it much later he denies having said it. Maybe he just doesnt remember having said it but that doesnt account for the things he said he did. I doubt he forgot about stabbing someone or forgot about purging his soul in South America. Those kind of things dont just slip your mind.

Any thoughts? Am I losing the plot altogether or could I be onto something? I obviously dont have a completely stable mind at the moment due to excessive drug use over the years so I could easily be mixing up dreams with reality.

I just want to know if thats how it would happen if he was telepathically connecting to me. I knew absolutely nothing about magick at the time and thought nothing about these dreams with bad feelings despite the coincidence of him saying "We have to pay close attention to our dreams at times like these" the day I had the dream.