My Introduction And My Story.. Options

I've been lurking for about 2 weeks. I've found this forum to be a great source of knowledge. I feel like it's time to introduce myself to you guys, get your opinions on my experiences and maybe get some guidance on the next step...

I became interested in the occult a couple of years ago. I was visited by a spirit as I slept. It started off as an extremely real dream. I was laying on my back in a field, enjoying a warm, sunny day. I noticed a beautiful woman walking along about 100 feet from me. As I was admiring her beauty, she turned and walked towards me. When she was at my feet, she knelt down and lay on top of me. I could smell her perfume and feel her long hair on my face. Everything was in color and I can still remember this like it happened yesterday. She was so beautiful, she was like an angel. I looked into her eyes and I couldn't believe my good luck, that this beautiful stranger would come to me in this way. There were no feelings of a sexual nature, only a very deep sense of peace and unity. We kissed and she suddenly started to become heavy. Her weight began to crush me. I could not breathe. I panicked and shoved her up off me with all of my might. The look on her face became very confused. It was as if she could not understand why I was pushing her away. At that moment, I woke up and gasped for air. There was a translucent lavender colored mist above me in my bed. I sat up and watched it slowly float up and away, until it either dissipated or went through the corner of the ceiling. I was not afraid at any time and I only felt a sense of extreme loneliness, as if she were very confused and alone. At that point, I spoke to her and told her I was sorry, but I could not help her and that she was not welcome in my house. To this day, I do not know if that was the proper thing to do, but it was just a spontaneous reaction on my part. Once more, this was not a dream of a sexual nature. I did not wake up aroused. For some reason, I feel as if that is an important detail.

I've read scientific explanations for this type of experiences and most try to put them off as nothing more than a dream. No matter what they say, I know this was more than a dream. I was also wide awake when I saw the lavender mist. I sat up in bed and watched it for a good 2 minutes. I even touched my clock just to reassure myself that I wasn't still sleeping. I'm very interested in hearing thoughts on what this encounter may have been or meant.

The other thing that drew my interest to the occult is luck. I work in a profession that is dependant on about 40% luck and 60% talent and hard work. I've noticed over the years that a very few people are really truly blessed. Nothing ever seems to go wrong for them and even if something does seem to be going wrong, it turns out great in the end. One guy in particular, he has such unreal good luck that I only half jokingly wonder if he has some kind of magic working for him. Synchronicity comes to mind.

Anyways, I've read all of Simon's books about the Necronomicon, Peter Lavenda's Unholy Alliance and Sinister Forces triology and several books on reincarnation and spirit encounters (everything from hauntings, to books by mediums). I believe that quantum physics will one day unlock the doors for science to explain some of the spiritual world. I also believe the church has purposely kept much knowledge locked away. I've begun doing some work with sigils as it seems like this might be the safest way for someone new to begin the journey. I am wondering what to study next.

Sorry for the long post, but I've been wanting to talk about these things for a long time. This is the first time I've told anyone my experience. I'm very interested in what you guys think. Thanks for making such a great forum available. It feels good to finally find other people who are like minded.

Greetings dynajam,

Your dream was a lucid dream for sure. The reason for the women could be so many things i hate to speculate. She could have been there to inform you of something, it could have been that you were meant to recover some lost energy here. Or she may have just wanted to share energy. you see in the astral as you get closer and tune into a person you begin to share there aura or energy and its like sex but about 1000 times better. It is very intimate but not sexual in the way you would think. It can bring about an orgasm but its soooo much better. Its more like shareing your entire self with someone. You did say it did not seem sexual but the feeling of heaviness you had would indicate she wanted to share her energy with you. It is however also a way of communication to do this. In fact just thinking often comes across as regular conversation in the astral.
She may have also been the spirit or fairie of any number of things just being playful. The fact that you saw her in the physical makes me believe you have a powerful connection to this "entity" and almost rules out that she wished you any harm. If i had been in the same situation i would definatly be trying to find her again. I would recover the same dream you had and try to remember any symols or speech you may have missed in the moment. If you do manage to return again make sure she provides a way for you to return to her. A sigil or symbol or even name will do the trick.
Anyways sorry i was probably jumping past your intent there. Dreaming work and meditation would be good places to start finding more about what you have posted. If you are truly interested in this women and other great encounters like this.