"jafar, I'm Stuck...!", Supershield out of control Options

About two and a half years ago, I followed down a path of esoteric severity. I was making progress rather quickly, perhaps too quickly, when my spiritual body started it's linkup to the astral. Because I did not know anything about the nature of the astral, nor the nature of beings at the time, I had NO clue what was in store for me, nor could I explain the palpable sensation that my soul would be snatched out of my body, and I would be left to die (It actually happened once before, I cried for help, and I managed loose back into my body). Looking back, I now know that it was simply entities attracted to me with a sense of, "Hey! Human managed to get power! Let's help 'em out and show them around the place!" but I instead allowed my fear and ignorance to get to me.

Ever since then, I made a decree out of fear to forever shield myself from what I called "Snatch," so aptly named for the sensation of hands coming every now and then, tugging. This Snatch Shield, as I call it, turned out to be one of the most POWERFUL integrity-check type shields out there. Later down the line, as it turns out, not even a group of 2-3 mages could break my hold, no matter how much I tried to relax.

Now, two and a half years later, it has malformed into something hideous. Instead of being set up as a shield, it has made me a prisoner. It feels almost like a Iron Maiden, trapping me, and leaving me to my own devices, as my own body is severely limited in the flow of higher energies, and my mental capabilities are slowly dwindling or warping to a pace slower than that of the trek of the stars across the sky. Whenever I HAVE managed out, my astral body is mangled, malformed, or atrophied. What's worse, it has gained so much energy, it has become a semi-sentient puppet of a twin. Alas, for I have created my own astral beast.

Now, what I ask for, is proper advice on how to get rid of my shield, or learn how to deactivate it at will.

But this is no simple task. At the time, I was under a sedation from my doctor experimenting with the effects of prescribing different pharmaceuticals to me at the time. One of which, as I recall, placed me into a latent alpha stage of mind. It was in this, that I chose to create the "Snatch Shield."

Rarely now, do I find myself in a proper relaxed state of mind. I have an EXTREMELY hard time regulating my own energies from within, only from my own, and processing on my own effort (I DO get energies from the outside, but very very limited!). What I ask for from this paragraph is feedback to the stipulation that to use that specific drug again, and then meditating myself to do away with this unneccessary sheild may be a feasible idea or not.

Overall though, I need out. Help me. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/compress.gif)

Source of info was a self-reflective breakdown rant in front of a friend, where I remembered and realized what happened to me which caused me so much trouble.

GENERAL:
Find a reiki healer

Funny. Just after posting, I was wondering both that 1) are there any people in the Lake Erie area and 2) I was looking up reiki.

Seems like the general concensus of my condition remains true in my heart, and in metaphysical reality as well on both microcosmic and macrocosmic scale.

Thank you.

If there are any offers from this communtiy, please PM me. Otherwise, I will start looking. Thank you again.

This post has been edited by WyrdScience: Jan 16 2007, 02:20 PM