What Could This Be?, I am really not insane. I promise you! Options

Before I get to my question, I'll give some background information on this:

When I was about 11 or 12, I dabbled briefly in Ceremonial Magic(k). I know very well now that I had no business doing anything of that sort then!

Anyway, while playing with it, I can into contact with...something. It is a male, as far as I can tell and he's been a part of my life for nearly thirteen years now. I could call him a spirit since I have no clue what he really is.

What has happened during my time "with" his is as follows:

--I have had dreams of either being abused or having intercourse with him, and have woken up with either bruises, cuts or damage elsewhere (I'm rather shy about talking about that part since the last person I told about the last encounter suggested that my own husband raped me).

--He has been seen by other people with no prior knowledge of who/what he is or about our connection. If I met someone new, he has a habit of following them home...trust me, that makes for some strange conversations later on!

--Our relationship seems to be parasitic (and has observed to be so by a friend), however, I'm almost addicted to his feeding off of me.

--He isn't around all of the time. There is possibly one month out of a year where he seems strongest, and, then, he's gone or faintly there for the rest of the year.
---

I'm not familiar with spirits outside of the general ones, so I'm having a hard time with even believing that he does exist (even though other people have seen him).

I don't know what this is. Does anyone here know, or have a clue?
Could something like this even happen? I kinda just need to know that I'm not losing my mind, which it probably sounds like I have already.

Sorry for the vague post. I've made it a habit to keep my words guarded just in case. I can elaborate if anyone has questions.

I agree with Ashnook entirely.
Neserit, an effective vampiric spirit would certainly want to provide you any "reason" it could for you to keep up the relationship . . . helping you out in spots really isn't that big of a effort on its part, if that can convince you to continue letting it abuse you.
And, on the note of energy abuse (particularly sexual energy abuse), it can become quite addictive . . FOR YOU, the donar as well as the obvious "addiction" of the spirit.

Don't let this thing fool you, or worst yet allow you to develop an obsession with it (which quite frankly is how you sound, no offense).

I don't know if whatever you did as a child (exposure to ceremonial texts...) made the connection (I personally doubt it), but everything tends to align itself to the (whatever) significances of the moment (Jung calls is sincrinicity). Probably this thing/spirit was simply waiting for the "right" moment for someone to start leeching energy from.

Do yourself a favor, end the relationship. After the drains are long gone, and your full in charge and control of your own intentionality and Will . . . then if you want to conduct a relationship with this thing, on strictly your terms....
But I personally wouldn't suggest that either.

And I would guess you know what you need, simply because your asking. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)
(your strong . . . your stronger then it)

This post has been edited by palindroem: Jan 18 2007, 06:25 PM

I agree with Ashnook entirely.
Neserit, an effective vampiric spirit would certainly want to provide you any "reason" it could for you to keep up the relationship . . . helping you out in spots really isn't that big of a effort on its part, if that can convince you to continue letting it abuse you.

thats the real point you should understand... may be it can be like trying to quit smoking, but for your case its worse than cigs...

learn to give a big kick to the butt of nasty parasites like that.... what if you have a daughter later and when you pass out, that parasite tries to do the same to the daughter. Its you allowing it continue, thus you who will be responsible :-)



so today itself look for a good ass kicking banishing :-)