A Fresh Begining Options

Yes, i am a new person here. I'm 27 and just think I've found my new path in life. I was forced to learn Christianity as a child and have intermittently gone to church although I don't rightfully believe in that faith. I never felt comfortable, i never was happy, Christians always "felt" weird to me. Their aura was strange. After a while I gave up on it. It was not for me, the bible made no sense. It was just a list of analogies that anyone could twist in anyway they chose. There is nothing wrong with that, but i didn't follow.

I practiced Satanism in my teen years after many years of church. I saw a couple things that were unexplained to me. Faces would manifest and talk to me. At one point in time I was doing a read about ritual and had one of my figuring take life and move in a way that seemed like it way trying to talk to me. but got put in a "home" and had to leave the path. I went back to the church and it was worse then ever.

For the last 4 years of my life I've been looking for something that fit me. I've been able to close my eyes in a room and see things that i was told were not supposed to be seen. I can feel things around me on a daily basis that i am supposedly just making up. (or say they say) I used to internally project fields of protection that strangely worked, but i was told it was my imagination. I was once had interaction w/ a werewolf type creature and i was told i was hallucinating. I dig drugs as a kid, but not enough to do mess like this. I've also always had an intuition that magic was not much more then manipulating the energies around you to influence things and people. In the light meditation that I've practiced, I've experienced a very warm energy type feeling culmination within me that I could direct towards my hands and hold there for periods of time.

I’ve always had an affinity with nature as well, and figured I was just weird. If I didn’t go outside and enjoy the weather, horrible or not, I would just feel weak or sick. The days that I wouldn’t be able to due to work, I would be drained by the time I got a chance to and sleep way more then usual. It still happens to this day.

I about a year ago started reading about Witchcraft and the “Arts” and noticed a lot of my intuition and interaction w/ “my imagination” were experienced by others. After reading about Celtic magic, some of the Necronomicon (very old version) and another about witchcraft, I’ve come to realize it’s where I need to be. There is finally an reason for what I experience.

I know this is a long winded post but for once, I feel complete and just reading through some of the posts on this board that sounds valid, bring closure and happiness to me. I finally know that what my mind has been telling me all along is true, and I am not going nuts. (laughs) It’s almost a form of closure.

Now, for the next part of the post, what is some good beginner literature to read? I’ve already acquired one encyclopedia of witchcraft, a guide to wicca, shamanic witchcraft book, a book on kabala and many more. I can list the others later. I’m in no rush, but I find comfort in reading and learning about these things. I assume within these books I can learn better forms of interaction and energy manipulation. What would you suggest as a way to ease into everything without suffering a “culture shock” of sorts? I like to be well informed and properly prepared before I attempt any type of spell work and herbalism in fear I may hurt someone if I was to do something wrong.


I, apparently, am off to a good start. I see that I should have posted this in the Coffee Shop section. Please feel free to move it to the correct section. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

after energy works i guess sigil magick or spell crafting could be a good follow up :-)