Energy Depletion Options

Hey peeps!

I have noticed a rather unusual thing that happens to me sometimes. It may take a bit of explaining so 'bear with' (IMG:style_emoticons/default/bigwink.gif)

Whenever I feel the need to do magick, I feel this emotion of contentment and joy engulfing my heart. This is the energy I use to invoke entities or do any other sort of magickal act. The problem is whenever I can't feel the energy, my magick doesn't work! Ever! This feeling comes and goes (as it pleases apparently). The thing is I suffer with depression and anxiety and have done most of my life, so feelings of joy are not always present even when the need/will to do magick is. Could it be a side-affect of my depression? Will I have to live with the fact that sometimes, I just won't physically be able to perform magick? As if my connection is temporarily cut-off somehow?

Another theory I have is that I use up all my magickal energy in one invocation and then experience a kind of 'come down' where I feel empty of those feelings for a few days.

Any theories would be grately appreciated.

Conscious belief tends to impact physical energy. Since Magick is all about Will, and getting in touch with the awesome true nature of the Deep Mind (choose your own language), why not try taking those high moments when you feel so vastly empowered (I know that feeling) and use it to drive your will into addressing the imbalance in your conscious energy. In other words, use your Work to balance and empower the "off days.". There's nothing dark or even gray in such an effort. Working self magick is pure right hand path (Tibetan Tantric term). Healing the conscious, helping the conscious connect to the tireless subconscious is a big part of magick.

In Daoism, we'd say these swings from empowered to uninspired is somewhat indicative of imbalance. Everything in Daoism -- if you drill down the core essences -- is about balance. Yin-Yang. Conscious-Unconscious. Male-Female personalities (not referring to sexes here). Energy-NILenergy. Creation-NILcreation. Bottom line, if I felt such regular "down" swings, I would use my "up times" to empower my "down times." Since you're empowering self, this kind of magick is perfectly in reach of anyone. Anyone and everyone. Will it -- that your energies will be symmetrically balanced -- then use the "high moments" to achieve gnosis, know you have achieved balance, and it will happen.

Thank you so much for everyones replies. They have helped me think things over and get a clear head.

Ok, so if the problem is a block in my energy, how would one best fix this?

I'm guessing perform the middle pillar daily for six months? or some sort of chakra healing or kundalini techniques?

I also think some people in my household (so called family) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/angry_pissed_off_emoticon.gif) may be syphoning energy off me subconciously.

Once again thanks for all your help.

PS. I own the book 'Wheels of Life' if there are any techniques in it you think might work. I'm not spell begging, I know how to perform the LBRP and MP but I'm just not sure these ritual will help in this situation.