Energy Depletion Options

Hey peeps!

I have noticed a rather unusual thing that happens to me sometimes. It may take a bit of explaining so 'bear with' (IMG:style_emoticons/default/bigwink.gif)

Whenever I feel the need to do magick, I feel this emotion of contentment and joy engulfing my heart. This is the energy I use to invoke entities or do any other sort of magickal act. The problem is whenever I can't feel the energy, my magick doesn't work! Ever! This feeling comes and goes (as it pleases apparently). The thing is I suffer with depression and anxiety and have done most of my life, so feelings of joy are not always present even when the need/will to do magick is. Could it be a side-affect of my depression? Will I have to live with the fact that sometimes, I just won't physically be able to perform magick? As if my connection is temporarily cut-off somehow?

Another theory I have is that I use up all my magickal energy in one invocation and then experience a kind of 'come down' where I feel empty of those feelings for a few days.

Any theories would be grately appreciated.

shields work against psi vamps, sleeping works for depression for some unless you are one of those 'bad sleepers' that for some strange reason don't get restful sleep (its not just the mattress), which i was until i figured out in my dumbo head that i was getting instruction at night and was being held in a higher level of sleep than i would have been in normally, so i tried napping during the day after i got home from work, and that did the trick, 2 hours in the afternoon is like 5 at night - you feel refreshed and happy - and get some wireless headphones or something to combat that tv - also the planetary alignments and what quarter they (not just the moon) are in have a lot to do with your feelings - map out and chart your energies whether up, down,used, etc,for a couple of months, then look for correspondences - could also be sad (seasonal affective disorder - i've been there done that too) where the body dosen't receive enough physical light in a particular set of wavelengths, try using a different light buld (get one thats "full spectrum") and see what it does to your energies - there are a lot of herbal stuff out there for depression, most of it with other side effects, but i really like pepper (red or black or chili), and it supposedly cleans the body of toxins

e.

shields work against psi vamps, sleeping works for depression for some unless you are one of those 'bad sleepers' that for some strange reason don't get restful sleep (its not just the mattress), which i was until i figured out in my dumbo head that i was getting instruction at night and was being held in a higher level of sleep than i would have been in normally, so i tried napping during the day after i got home from work, and that did the trick, 2 hours in the afternoon is like 5 at night - you feel refreshed and happy - and get some wireless headphones or something to combat that tv - also the planetary alignments and what quarter they (not just the moon) are in have a lot to do with your feelings - map out and chart your energies whether up, down,used, etc,for a couple of months, then look for correspondences - could also be sad (seasonal affective disorder - i've been there done that too) where the body dosen't receive enough physical light in a particular set of wavelengths, try using a different light buld (get one thats "full spectrum") and see what it does to your energies - there are a lot of herbal stuff out there for depression, most of it with other side effects, but i really like pepper (red or black or chili), and it supposedly cleans the body of toxins

e.

Its interesting you mention that esoterica, as I think SAD has alot to do with it, and like Vagrant Dreamer said, as I should learn to draw energy from all available sources i.e. the sun, moon and earth. Or even a godform when I am invoking. Does anybody have any suggestion on how to 'draw in' this energy? I mean it is as simple as visualisation? like in the middle pillar? or is there some other technique I am missing?

Thanks.