Energy Depletion Options

Hey peeps!

I have noticed a rather unusual thing that happens to me sometimes. It may take a bit of explaining so 'bear with' (IMG:style_emoticons/default/bigwink.gif)

Whenever I feel the need to do magick, I feel this emotion of contentment and joy engulfing my heart. This is the energy I use to invoke entities or do any other sort of magickal act. The problem is whenever I can't feel the energy, my magick doesn't work! Ever! This feeling comes and goes (as it pleases apparently). The thing is I suffer with depression and anxiety and have done most of my life, so feelings of joy are not always present even when the need/will to do magick is. Could it be a side-affect of my depression? Will I have to live with the fact that sometimes, I just won't physically be able to perform magick? As if my connection is temporarily cut-off somehow?

Another theory I have is that I use up all my magickal energy in one invocation and then experience a kind of 'come down' where I feel empty of those feelings for a few days.

Any theories would be grately appreciated.

It starts as visualization. But quickly becomes a physical feeling. The sun is easy once you feel the heat you can associate with it and draw the energy in, the moon is the same but to me feels cold or darkmatter like but also comforting. The earth is easy once you ground yourself just "suck up" the energy. The elemental energies are all associated with your chakra and can also be drawn upon very heavily. For instance the Tibetan sherpa can warm themselves by utilizing the third chakra and the visualization and feeling of fire. One of there initiations is to be wrapped in wet blankets and by the end they have dried all of them and warmed themself. Kundalini energy is utilized after you study the chakra for a while and than its drawn up the spinal region (very short explanation). Ki and chi energies i associate with focus and utilizing spirit in what you accomplish. For instance with martial arts you use it to "penetrate" punch someone. And that can actually do internal damage of a massive nature.
The biggest most important way to "gain" energy is to save the enrgy you have and utilize it correctly. And really the toltec believe that that is the only spare energy available. By stalking and recapitulation you gain lost energy/spirit. And by living in the moment you will save tremendous amounts of energy.

I also share all my negative energy with everything. and picture it spreading so far out into space and the ground that its no longer an issue for wherever it ends up.