About This Girl.., I'm also new (1st post) Options

I have a friend who I always go to his house, and a bunch of other people go there, and we hang out and get high, and just do random stuff. Recently his 19 year old sister moved in with him, and she hung out in his room for a while, and me and her became pretty good friends, but recently, she hasnt been hanging out, and im really starting to miss hanging out with her, in fact, i think im in love with her. she always locks herself in her room, and i cant seem to get to really talk to her, because she always seems depressed. but i have pretty strong feelings for her.

I dont know, but its really frusterating, i want to talk to her and become closer with her, but its kind of hard when you cant interact with her, you know what i mean? do any of you have any tips or suggestions for me? it would be very appreciated.

This post has been edited by TheToology: Feb 7 2007, 02:10 AM

The problem is, girls/women are different.

The danger with being the "gamer" kind of guy is that you'll only attract women who like to play games.
Ever read the "The RUles" books? They are books telling girls what games to play to get a man. Do yourself a favor, get the books, read them, and when you recognize a girl playing those games, avoid her like the plague. She'll play games, and when you don't interest her anymore, or fail some arbitrary test, she'll dump you for the next gamer.

Let me give some free advice as someone who's been through the games and been burnt a few too many times.
Women want men with testicles. There it is. If you're a wimp, you won't get far. Oh you might get some to stay with you, but they will leech from you until therre is nothing left and leave you broken. But let's be clear, strength and violence -- yes, violence -- that is CONTROLLED, is sexy. A rampaging bully is a weakling. Often times we'll confuse the browbeating bully as a strong man, but he's not, he's weak and insecure. A strong man that is gentle with us is desireable. Oh, we'll piss and moan about not getting our way, but that's because everyone wants their way. But trust me, if you make a habit of giving in, you'll be despised. That's why the "nice guys" end up getting dumped for the bad boys -- the women are looking for someone strong.

Try just being upfront. Walk up with a little swagger and tell her you miss her hanging around and wondered what's up (you must see her out of her room every now and then). Or, if she's encased in her room, go pound on the door and tell her you'd like to talk. Then tell her (don't ask) "let's go [for a walk, get something to eat/drink], I'd like to talk to you a bit." Even if you're scared/intimidated, don't act like it. Act like you're going to do something that she doesn't want to miss out on. The important thing being to get her out of that environment before talking to her.

If she agrees, then ask her what's up how come she doesn't hang out anymore. If she says she isn't into the crap you're into, then suggest doing something else -- with her, not your buddy and her -- if that means you stop being a doper, then if you want her enough, do it.

If she shuts you down, then just say "OK. . ." like she's missing out, and don't bother with her anymore. When you see her from then on, don't even acknowledge her presence unless she initiates contact with you. Reason being A.) She's not interested, move on, or 2.) she's testing you. If you don't seem desperate, she'll start thinking maybe she is missing out, and will want to get back in.

Lastly, keep in mind that girls are not women (and at 19, she's still a girl). Girls often don'y know what they want, and IMO young girls are somewhat frigid. They are very interested in themselves, and often make decisions for no reason. So if she shuts you down, or flip flops, it isn't personal, she just hasn't stabilised emotionally to the point that she knows whether or not she's really interested in you.