About This Girl.., I'm also new (1st post) Options

I have a friend who I always go to his house, and a bunch of other people go there, and we hang out and get high, and just do random stuff. Recently his 19 year old sister moved in with him, and she hung out in his room for a while, and me and her became pretty good friends, but recently, she hasnt been hanging out, and im really starting to miss hanging out with her, in fact, i think im in love with her. she always locks herself in her room, and i cant seem to get to really talk to her, because she always seems depressed. but i have pretty strong feelings for her.

I dont know, but its really frusterating, i want to talk to her and become closer with her, but its kind of hard when you cant interact with her, you know what i mean? do any of you have any tips or suggestions for me? it would be very appreciated.

This post has been edited by TheToology: Feb 7 2007, 02:10 AM

I agree with you kinjo but I hate the word never. I mean just because girls are human doesn't mean they cannot know what they want or how to get it. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif) That doesn't mean they can't be manipulated or follow flawed, irrational instincts and desires. Hell my penis makes me do that all the time! All I'm saying is I think we should listen to eachothers opinion's equally and not judge based on gender - yet at the same time respect that some people do actually have gender biased opinions. No sense in argueing or taking offense to what we may perceive as other people's repugnances because we're all entitled to believe what we want. If somebody does want to argue about beliefs that, to me, says something about their character right there - that is they think they can change people.

When it comes to relationships and sex I pretty much do what kinjo said above. In interpersonal relationships I also recognize that my main goal is not love or even really romance. My main drive is sex. So why should I mess around with any "games" or act and try to woo a girl who is looking for love? To me its unethical to chase women who desire love when I know my goal is to get laid - not married. So my approach is to be fank about myself and just be myself. Granted I have been called a pervert, I have also recognized some pretty shallow and prude women who dress and act sexy but are really just teases who use that as a levy to take the moral high ground.

Whenever I'm with a girl I'm plainly clear about my desires. But I can't just do my own thing and hope some girl comes to me. I have to get out express and aleviate my sexual nature. I can't play games either that's just too much work and usually leads nowhere. If I think a girl is attractive and I don't see any ring on her finger I'll ask her on a some kind of date, which usually depends on the size of my wallet at the time. If she says no its pretty much the worse she can do, no hard feelings all is well. If she says yes I get a chance to cop a good feel, so to speak, judge her character, what she wants and get to know her. Communication and listening are key and I'm not the kind of guy who fronts and I'm not sadistic enough to manipulate a girl just to satisfy myself. Why kid anyways? In the end it'd just generate a relationship structured around flawed ideals. If a girl plays hard to get that to me is a sign that she sub-consciously already knows men are usually all about sex (there are exceptions) and that she has issues relating to men because of that. Which is probably a sign that she doesn't really know to relate to or understand her own sexual nature. Thus I don't waste my time because she doesn't really know what she wants. And I'm usually too lazy to try and help people figure that out.

Be honest - By the 3rd date you should have clearly expressed your intentions. Be blunt and direct but use tact. Say what you mean but say it in a way thats not overly offensive. "hey babe you wanna f%*!?" generally doesn't come across very well.

Communicate - Speak whats on your mind and just because you're a man doesn't mean you can't use "I feel" statements around women.

Tact - let me stress this word. There is being yourself and speaking your mind but realize if you're trying to get with somebody you don't already know very well you really increase your odds by not being an unsensitive, overly crude and rude dick.

Listen - For one it'll help you related to her desires and help keep you from mis-interpreting them. It'll also makes you more attractive because, imo, women like a guy is willing to get actually get to know them.

[edit] Ask questions - anybody can listen to a conversation but if you can ask questions you're engaged in it and she knows you are listening to her. [/edit]

Be yourself - don't front or play games. Don't try to manipulate her through deception. A girl who is scandalous will catch on and she'll probably lead you on just to get what she wants. If you are yourself a scandalous girl will not be to hide her nature so easily and you'll se right through her - usually. If a girl makes you nervous actually express that it'll help you get over it. Girls generally feel more attractive when they know they make guys nervous on dates. If you're stressed or not feeling good also say that because if you do and accidently make a fool of yourself her psyche will understand that as a cuase of your state of mind.

But be yourself with decency - dress as you will but be mindful first appearances make up 90%+ of what people think of you. So might not want to wear anything with semen stains on it (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif). In the case of the original poster it sounds like there is already some reporte so this isn't AS important. Also general hygene is a must - bad breathe and BO are serious turn offs to most women - but there are few who genuinely don't give a rats ass. If you are expecting sex be sure you wash in the obvious locations.

Experience - the only real way to get good at getting girls, weather or not you've already known them for a period of time, is experience. The [edit]more[/edit] girls you are with the greater variety of interpersonal connections you've have had and the more likely you will be able to deal with new situations as well as improvise and be creative.

This post has been edited by Acid09: Mar 20 2007, 03:39 PM