QUOTE(valkyrie @ Mar 27 2007, 12:08 PM)
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style_emoticons/default/ac42.gif) thanks ed and acid. now i have another question! ok so maybe i'm dissociating but i need some help understanding what exactly is going on. Ive noticed over the span of only a couple recent APs that sometimes, i embody different aspect of my personality when i project. i act and think differently, and i tend to do things that i wouldnt normally do (nothing negative, just different)(actually...all my actions are beneficial to myself and follow the higher order). I have various perspectives which is the scary part. What the heck is going on???
In terms of dissociation when you astral project you are separating your concsiousness from your body. You are turning off your motor skills, and major cognative skills to enter a semi-conscious state of mind seperated from the body but able to percieve reality. Understand you are not actually going somewhere different. The astral plains co-exists with our mundane reality. So when you astral project the only thing that changes is your perception of reality. I describe it as a mental perception, where as our normal perspection is physical. That also means that humans are limmited in how they can traverse the astral plains. We are thinking, emotional, sensing beings and these three factors control how we travel.
When you learn how to AP, really all you've done is learned how to access the astral plains. Once you have mastered the technique then you got to learn how to navigate the astral plains. Since the human mind on the primevael level is equal to an overly emotional lizzard, your default control is emotion because in yyour semi-conscious state your higher self is unable to dominate. Thus whatever you are feeling the strongest at the time generally dictates where you go and what you do. This also means that different portions of your personallity may dominate according to your emotional state. This is why people who are psychotic, near death, or completely miserable AP to the lower regions of the astral plains - the place where all that bad stuff is. So in order to master actually traveling the astral plains and not just going there you have to gain more self control, learn how to allow your rational, thinking self to show through.
To do this you need self-awareness. This is gained simply through the repeated practice of astral projection. The more regularly you do it the more your higher mental self will adjust and change. But simply going to the astral plains alone will not give you total control over what you do. When there you need to also observe, feel and experience the astral. These are what will enable you to truely gain awareness. The easiest way to start off is to use a journal, much like you would for lucid dreaming, this will create a log for you to look back and reflect upon. For sure write down what you saw, felt, thought, and sensed write for all five senses, even if you can't remember you using. It'll create a log by which you can monitor your progress and you'll be alble to look at and saw oh so this is when this or that did or did not happen. Make sure you put down enteries regularly. Try your best to not miss attempts at astral projection. Especially if you fail to access the plains. Writting down what happened can shed light on why you attempt failed.
Self-awareness gives you self control. The more aware you are in your journies the more you should practice exerting self-control. To start this will simply like going right instead of left or looking a certain direction. But again with practice you should get better and able to do more complex things.
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Can multiple episodes of sloppy astral projection over a length of time, or prolonged APs lead to fragmenting your whole personality?
Theoretically the answer is yes but only because we know so little about astral projection. The reason its unlikely is because once you've returned to your body you return to your normal state of mind. It sort of resets you back to your regular self.
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I should probably give you an example, last night i had several APs almost simulataneously. Thats never happened before, and one of my personalities was a sleeping child floating in the air in a fetal position searching for a kill through slitted eyes. Its disturbing to me, because im not familiar with that aspect of myself, and here it is... a seperate me in full form, projecting. The weirdest thing is, i govern them all from a seemingly higher formless presence. Im not aware of it at the time, because when i am in a certain state i see through that specific pair of eyes, but then i follow a greater will, that is...er, me.
To me this just means you're still learning to control yourself. Indeed if you practice astral projections for 10,000 times doing nothing special you could become very adept. But to gain skill at a faster pace work on finding that self awareness and control. Anothering you can try is write a dialogue before you AP write something like this and actually say to yourself "tonight I will do thus and so", don't set the bar too high though. Only do what you think you can. So start off simple and work your way up. Yet another thing you can do is role play. Actually act out your astral journey before you do it. While its good to work yourself to become better also understand that advancement requires time. Theoretically taking your time, as much as you need, allows the mind to adjust and prevents you from doing any real harm to yourself. It also allows your mind to develope a sort of "astral maturity" that will enable you deal new situations.
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COULD it be a dissociative illness?
No because you induced it. A dissociative disorder occurs without your personal control. Now on the other hand if you're obsessed with astral projection and compulsive project many times a day then its a compulsive, habitual behavior that may impact your over all life and mental health. But you don't sound like you're just enamoured by astral projection. It sounds like you are genuinely trying to learn a new skill. So at least in regards to AP I don't think you have any mental problems.
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Is there a way i can reassemble myself DURING my projection?
Journal, dialogue, roleplay and practice.
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I dont normally project more than once at a time...think of the me i send out as a scout, i guess...And...if it IS healthy, than should i further develop those elements of my personality?
Scouting a pretty redamentary technique for gaining information off the astral plains with out actually going there. Its sort of like bi-location. Its a good skill to learn it serves to teach the mind how to retrieve knowledge, send messages and sets the foundation for conscious AP. If you need a technique for scouting I can share mine.
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in any case, no worries, i dont have this problem (if its a problem) in my waking state, just when i project. a little background information...the first half of the year is when i started to astroproject...but i never did it on purpose. I wouldnt call it natural, cuz acid, you said a number of things could be the cause. hmmmm.... Maybe if i just astrally slap myself...hehe (IMG:
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In all honesty it sounds like you jumped the guns on the skills necessary to affectively astral project and went straight for the technique. Most reliable litterature I've read on AP have you build up to astral projection by learning redamentary skills such as visualization, meditation, contemplation, developing an astral body and scouting. These basic skillIs develope the mind to be able to utilize projection techniques as well handle the experience. If you have not worked on these skills you should as they would greatly improve your self control while you astral project.
This post has been edited by Acid09: Mar 28 2007, 06:22 PM