Living With Schizophrenia? Options

Hello, I'm a diagnosed schizophrenic and was wondering if anybody else is, or has experience dealing with a schizophrenic in their lifetime. I started this topic because since I was 16 I've been trapped in my own reality. I'm looking for methods or techniques for dealing with different symptoms like; fear that somebody is reading your mind, talking to the radio or television, hearing voices, and overall paranoia. I'm now 20 years old and have accomplished nothing in my life because I've let my illness get the best of me. The only achievement I've made since my first psychotic episode is graduating from high school. I'm really just looking for ways, other than taking medication, too stop my thoughts or subconscious mind from what seems to me as being "broadcast" to people and technology around me. My main problem is the fear that my mind is being read. Hopefully some of you have some advice for me; other than wearing a tinfoil hat, jk. I'm currently taking Zyprexa and Geodon if you were wondering what my meds were. Thanks in advance.

Don't get it twisted, Schizophrenia is not a curse upon you!
I do not recommend any magickal practice to you, what I suggest though is that you take a look at eastern/oriental philosophy and meditation.
Meditation is good in that it will allow you to relax and observe your thought which is where you need to be patient and then trace your thoughts back too their souce, there must be a reason you feel vulnerable to others knowing your thoughts.
Meditaion, meditation, meditation! Do it 15mins every morning and everynight, then after a while slowly progress to 30mins every morning and night.
Look around the WWW, theres plenty of different forms you can choose from.
good luck,
peace,
Al

This post has been edited by al_zaine: Jul 21 2007, 07:03 AM

Don't get it twisted, Schizophrenia is not a curse upon you!

Read the whole thing. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif) ...a cursed GIFT with benefits and drawbacks. My statement was a comparison to a very common adage. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/fool.gif)

greenmonkey, by all means, I think you should get into magick as you could probably do things that many of the rest of us could not. Try to use your weaknesses as strengths. A short person who is outnumbered by tall people has a weakness of strength and numbers, but in exchange, he has the strength of being faster and more maneuverable. Your Schizophrenia makes day-to-day life more difficult, especially in social situations, but in exchange you can more easily utilize magickal concepts that don't make sense to most others.

I think we all agree, however, that meditation is the way to go for coping with it. Control your thoughts and conquer your fears. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/bigwink.gif)

I will first say that I am not a psychologist, and that a psychologist/psychiatrist of the 'mainstream' following, will disagree with everything i'm going to say here.

That said, my best friend's older sister has childhood schizophrenia, and while I realize it's not the same thing, I lived with her and her family for almost four years and took a particular interest in her sister and spent a lot of time getting to know how she thought about things, what sort of energetic phenomenon was going on with her mind, and the affect that it had on her and her sense of reality.

First of all, under no circumstances should you get involved with magick at this point, and I cannot stress that enough. Your condition is a limitation in that specific way, but understand also that the 'gate' as it were, between your conscious and unconscious/subconscious mind, is wide open for you. Typically a magickal practitioner develops the same condition, but in a specifically controlled manner - or in the worse-off cases, a less controlled manner - which is to say, schizophrenia can be induced in practitioners who get lost in magickal endeavors. Psychological affliction is a danger of magick.

You are fighting a battle with your brain. In it's structural sense, your consciousness is composed of the same elements as anyone else's, but rather than confining that subtle structure into an organic frame, your brain isn't configured to hold the same standard. So, like a magician who has let the structure of his consciousness weaken without having prepared himself for it, your best chance at 'recovery' as it were, is indeed meditation. But, for you meditation will be different than for other people, just as it is for magicians who have 'warped' by magick.

When you come out the other side of it, then you'll be ready for magick, and for that matter you'll very likely be a gifted magician if you apply yourself.

The first thing to work on is controlling your thoughts. I realize that for you that's not going to be an easy thing, but if you work at it, it will happen as it would for anyone else. Sit down for some set time, each day, and simply focus on your breath, and work on maintianing a quiet mind. Blank your mind completely, for as long as you can. I will warn you, you will probably experience frightening visions, thoughts, etc., but while in a lucid and focused state of mind, create some kind of reminder of the task at hand, to be a kind of anchor for you. Not sigilization. Simply write a statement that is short and to the point on, for instance, a peice of paper that you tape to a wall that you are facing. If you start to stray off to act on some impulse or vision that has occurred, open your eyes, take a look at your statement, and then return to your meditation. You must build a structure through will, and that begins with being able to ignore those thoughts, and keep your mind quiet. Over time it will become a skill that you can employ at any time.

When you can keep your mind quiet for five minutes, without any intrusion by your lower mind, acquire some object, like a ring or pendant, and meditate with it. Let it become a reminder of that quiet period. Over time, you will be able to inhabit this quiet mind and consciously choose how to see reality. Not in the magickal sense, but in the sense that when you have impulses, fears, etc., you can consciously inhabit a quietude, and recognize what is real, and what is not.

Childhood schizophrenia is a form of developmental retardation - my friend's older sister seems to be the younger one because it caught her up, she never got proper treatment, and she is now comparable to a thirteen year old, though she is 26. However, though it took her a long time to get there, when she is reminded by her parents, she can stop, quiet her mind, and then rationalize from that point to overcome her episodes. If you've managed to graduate high school then you're better off than she is - possibly due to better treatment, or the difference between your specific condition and hers. But I know that it was hard for her, but she managed it with help.

So, step one - learn the quiet state of mind. One-pointedness, it's sometimes called. Or 'no mind'. It's as simple as wanting it to happen, and doing it every day religiously for at least ten minutes at a time. Set a timer. When you can do ten minutes, bump it up a minute at a time. When you can do it for half an hour, you're ready to manually start building a permanent structure. That's another discussion.

Good luck.

peace