Thanks for the replies, I started meditating about 1 year ago during my worst episode mentally, surprisingly my spirit side was totally under control. I did white void meditation and had a spiritual breakthrough,which I posted in the dream works forum awhile ago, and filtered and programmed all my thoughts and mind set in a C/C++ and scripting manner. My delusions were totally out of wack, I thought my family members had been replaced by clones and all sorts of crazy stuff. I don't meditate too much anymore because I usually go through nonstop psychotic imagery in my mind. I use to be into gore and snuff as a teenager; I even thought of going into mortuary science at one time. Now that stuff brings out a dark side of me and the memories meditation bring up feed it. I also forgot to mention, that when I'm depressed or paranoid I suffer from "night terrors." When falling asleep I have an out of body experience and see through something else's eyes. Then I usually am shocked back to consciousness and fall asleep shortly after. Also at time when trying to sleep I am visited by a dark spirit; I lose all control of my mind, I repeat the same thought repeatedly in monotone, my whole body is paralyzed except my eyes and I sometimes feel physical pain when it happens. This I think is a Vampiric demon that I once tried banishing from my house. It seems to feed off my fear and depression. Anyways I'll look into different ways to meditate and probably do the LBRP before I meditate. Is there anyway to clear the triggers and such that I've already done to my subconscious, so I can start over on controlling my thoughts?
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