Goetic Astral Evocation Account, Looking for Opinions / Thoughts / Criticisms Options

Date: 10/23/2007
Time: 12-3 am

Preluding Work:

Spent the two previous nights sleeping with the sigil of the
spirit under my bed drawn on parchment with the pentagram of solomon drawn on
the back. Color was used to be representative of the metal for the sigil,
being a reddish orange for copper and the pentagram was done in multiple flashing
colors.

Sleep was difficult to attain and I woke both mornings feeling sore. I should
note that I am in the recovery process of cervical fracture but I would still
consider it to be an odd sore feeling. It was accompanied with a sense of
distraction and an insatiable craving for nicotine.

The Work:

I had chosen to go through the process without any protections of any kind.
First I laid down, began to relax and calm down completely before meditating
on the sigil of the spirit. Once ready I opted for a silent approach to calling
the spirit.

I "flooded" myself with the name and sigil of the entity and would regularly
expel this into the astral as an infinite expanding shell when the name and
sigil written all over it. I would alternate this approach with sending it up
like the beam of a searchlight into the sky. I repeated this more times than
I can count wanting to make damn sure that I got the spirit's attention.

As doing this I became aware of numerous not-so-pleasant figures. I filtered
out the ones that appeared insignificant by not even given their prescense
consideration for more than a moment.

In one case a particularly entity came to my attention and addressed me. The
entity never gave its name in the introduction and repeatedly dodged the
question so I discarded it as well.

Eventually the spirit in question finally answered. Initially in the appearence
of talking black mask, with a jaw similar to a ventriloquist's puppet. Initially
I had no problems with communicating with the entity in this form until I became
aware that there was something moving behind the mouth. Naturally it just had to
be something I'm terrified of, grubs and the like.

When I requested the spirit to take on a more pleasant appearence it did so, but
did such in a sort of mockery hinting that it knew what it was I wanted. It
maintained that form for a little while before adopting a more distorted version
of it, at the time I was disgruntled but undaunted, looking back it could be
the entity's way of showing me that I may not want the outcome as much I think.

The spirit agreed to the charge and I asked it about a particular aspect of the
outcome. It gave an answer that seemed reasonable and was met with delight. There
was also a sense of emotion or satisfaction with its statement that came from the
spirit, as though it had some pride for being involved.

The spirit explicitly requested a blood sacrifice in return. I inquired if this
could be figurative, and it said that such was acceptable so long as its purpose
clear and vivid.

I gave the spirit what it wanted by visualizing my wrists as though they had been
slit and the blood flowing out against gravity to the entity above me.

Shortly afterwards I lost conciousness.

I woke feeling nauseated and weak. This feeling amplified when I gave another
visualized blood sacrifice for the spirit to collect, this time while standing
and visualizing the blood pooling at my feet. Afterwards I laid down in fatigue.

A few minutes afterwards I felt normal, as though I was never sick.

My conclusion on this was that I was still in debt to the spirit and had not been
able to give the appropriate "blood" sacrifice all at once and was therefore still
stuck in the mode of giving blood.

Final Notes:

I greatly preferred this method of working over the more traditional approach to it.
At no point in the work did I use any divine names other than those of the spirit.

Greetings.
*sigh* The division of approach and attitude towards dealing with evocation of the Goetia (or even just evocation) continues to perplex me. I was raised old school. It hasn't been until relatively recently with the advent of Newage that there appeared on the scene a new 'class' of practitioners who, for some apparent reason, treat the consorting with spiritual and alien entities with surprising casualness. They have conversations with a variety of divinities, devas, daemons, demons, devils, elementals and djinn with an offhand manner especially when it comes to protections and established ritual. Some are Chaos magicians others tend towards Satanism and Demonalatry. Gone are any pretense for looking after their own spiritual well being. Ah...a Christian or some other religous fanatic you may say. Not so, I am a Pantheistic shaman. I do not subscribe to the ideas of the established theocracies. I do care about my mental health and my spiritual ends. That being said...
Have you, during your deliberations concerning the conjuration of said demon, given thought to the overall health of your spirit? Do you believe you have a higher self? I'm not trying to be arrogant or pushy...I really want to know! Is it the yearning to be connected to things larger than yourself? Is it a quick method to power? Please give me a clue.
The first time I attempted an evocation I failed...partially. All I managed to do was to create alot of poltergeist phenomena (which could be attributed to adolescent sexual frustration). The next attempt let me so scared and shaken that I pissed myself. Subsequent attempts proved more fruitful but occassionally I was left in abject fear or awe. (It was an angelic evocation that really shook me up with the awe thing...if I was a Christian then I would have joined an Order!)
How is it that you would offer your lifes blood to a demon of the Goetia? The weakness you felt was probably a combination of low blood sugar, fatigue and the 'imprinting' of the demons energy signature on your subtle energy body. Another idea is that you managed to attract an astral predator who was able to let you see what you think you want to see and has attached itself as an energy sucking larvae...hence the nausea, weakness and blackout! At least that would be my opinion(s).
Does it mean nothing that the forces that you are playing with have established energy vibrations that are considered somewhat toxic to most people? Again, I would love to give/have an interview with you and your beliefs as I am still unable to wrap my mind around some of your concepts. Forgive me the stodgieness of an old fart. May I recommend a book to you? "Astral Dynamics" by R. Bruce. He goes into the description of astral larva, etc.
Regardless of how you view my post I would caution you with continuing to approach evocation/invocation in this manner. Learn the various rituals/techniques involved before adapting novel ways to do the same thing. You may learn enough to be really good and healthy! I wish you well. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/egypt1.gif)