Goetic Astral Evocation Account, Looking for Opinions / Thoughts / Criticisms Options

Date: 10/23/2007
Time: 12-3 am

Preluding Work:

Spent the two previous nights sleeping with the sigil of the
spirit under my bed drawn on parchment with the pentagram of solomon drawn on
the back. Color was used to be representative of the metal for the sigil,
being a reddish orange for copper and the pentagram was done in multiple flashing
colors.

Sleep was difficult to attain and I woke both mornings feeling sore. I should
note that I am in the recovery process of cervical fracture but I would still
consider it to be an odd sore feeling. It was accompanied with a sense of
distraction and an insatiable craving for nicotine.

The Work:

I had chosen to go through the process without any protections of any kind.
First I laid down, began to relax and calm down completely before meditating
on the sigil of the spirit. Once ready I opted for a silent approach to calling
the spirit.

I "flooded" myself with the name and sigil of the entity and would regularly
expel this into the astral as an infinite expanding shell when the name and
sigil written all over it. I would alternate this approach with sending it up
like the beam of a searchlight into the sky. I repeated this more times than
I can count wanting to make damn sure that I got the spirit's attention.

As doing this I became aware of numerous not-so-pleasant figures. I filtered
out the ones that appeared insignificant by not even given their prescense
consideration for more than a moment.

In one case a particularly entity came to my attention and addressed me. The
entity never gave its name in the introduction and repeatedly dodged the
question so I discarded it as well.

Eventually the spirit in question finally answered. Initially in the appearence
of talking black mask, with a jaw similar to a ventriloquist's puppet. Initially
I had no problems with communicating with the entity in this form until I became
aware that there was something moving behind the mouth. Naturally it just had to
be something I'm terrified of, grubs and the like.

When I requested the spirit to take on a more pleasant appearence it did so, but
did such in a sort of mockery hinting that it knew what it was I wanted. It
maintained that form for a little while before adopting a more distorted version
of it, at the time I was disgruntled but undaunted, looking back it could be
the entity's way of showing me that I may not want the outcome as much I think.

The spirit agreed to the charge and I asked it about a particular aspect of the
outcome. It gave an answer that seemed reasonable and was met with delight. There
was also a sense of emotion or satisfaction with its statement that came from the
spirit, as though it had some pride for being involved.

The spirit explicitly requested a blood sacrifice in return. I inquired if this
could be figurative, and it said that such was acceptable so long as its purpose
clear and vivid.

I gave the spirit what it wanted by visualizing my wrists as though they had been
slit and the blood flowing out against gravity to the entity above me.

Shortly afterwards I lost conciousness.

I woke feeling nauseated and weak. This feeling amplified when I gave another
visualized blood sacrifice for the spirit to collect, this time while standing
and visualizing the blood pooling at my feet. Afterwards I laid down in fatigue.

A few minutes afterwards I felt normal, as though I was never sick.

My conclusion on this was that I was still in debt to the spirit and had not been
able to give the appropriate "blood" sacrifice all at once and was therefore still
stuck in the mode of giving blood.

Final Notes:

I greatly preferred this method of working over the more traditional approach to it.
At no point in the work did I use any divine names other than those of the spirit.

@Grab

grubs = worms, maggots, caterpillers, and the like :: I hate them

Decent amount of experience with the Goetia.

Work was practical but won't have result confirmations for a few days.

@bym

I normally use a more traditional approach using the Golden Dawn pentagram rituals, circle present, triangle, etc.

Also probably should have mentioned that my initial meditations always include getting in touch with the greater me.
I guess its more of that I want to embrace everything that spirit is and "love" it as it is for what it is.
I bit of an overly-romantic alchemical viewpoint on it. I should probably note that stick to a daily regimine of lighter ritual
specifically for my greater self / HGA with only inner purpose.

In regards to the astral larva / predators, that's largely how I perceive those lesser things that I ignore throughout the working. Perhaps
it may be wise to instead of simply removing them from my focus to cast them out. Part of the reason for posting this, to get criticisms like that
which help along my thinking in regards to possibilities and what can be changed.

@loki

I've neglected mentioning the duke in case someone popped in and said, "Hey, that's a lot like when I evoked..." though its mostly a subjective thing.

I neglected standard protections and banishings because in past experience I've noticed that most negative side-effects have usually come from keeping
around items from the working. Sigils and scrying mirrors especially. In more traditional workings I create my own scrying mirror using a pane of glass and paint
the triangle on the frontside of it, very little work and doesn't make me cringe when I destroy it.

No doubt there are risks. I should mention that this didn't fall in the spirit's generally attributed times to work with and I have worked with it previously to good
success in traditionally workings during the times. Its attitude was more pleasant during the proper time. When in a humanoid form it has always preferred to
present itself in a 3/4 perspective with the 3 being the side. Speech style was also dead-on to previous encounters. It has always enjoyed mocking me
through visual appearance, I think because as long as it doesn't get out of hand I tolerate it. Because this working included those general attributes I'm confident
that it was the correct spirit.

More than anything I would say its because I've worked with it before that I felt comfortable without protections or banishings. Raises the question if the bad
attitude was because of the non-traditional approach or if it was because of the time. I didn't ask it about anything in regards to the technicality of the working
other than if the calling was a good approach.

The only other time I've taken a similar approach it backfired in that the entirety of the effect was directed at me when it should have been directed elsewhere, that
work also lacked any banishings. In this case its alright with me if the purpose is glued to me.

In regards to your question of figuratives, unconciousness and fatigue seemed directly linked with the "figurative" sacrifice, though I guess it would be better
to describe it as giving up astral blood. That would probably make it more understandable than using the word figurative.

I sensed a sort of leaning towards a physical sacrifice and it came off kind of as an astral sacrifice being acceptable only because all I wanted was help getting started, a "show me the door, and I'll walk through it myself" thing instead of asking it to guide me along the whole way.

That approach is a holdover from an angelic working in which the spirit refused to do the work for me but would help get me started. I guess its an approach
of respecting my own potential and trusting in myself though not being too confident so as to not call in the artillery to soften things up.

General

Great questions.