Maybe It's A Curse?, Curse of the Mundanoeity Options

My life is...decidedly mundane. I have never seen anything magical, never felt any presence of any ghost, spirit or god, never found anything that couldn't be explained and understood. My delusions may be that there is magic, but no matter how I search, or how I look within myself, nothing emerges. I need to find magic in order to have hope again, but can't find it at all. Any spells, invocations, or summonings of will I try myself all seem to run up against a wall, and nothing ever happens. Any person I've met who claimed access to some form of magic turned out to be a charlatan, or a swindler.

This isn't some run-of-the-mill dry period. I've existed for nearly three decades without a single whisper of magic coming my way. It's not that I'm closed to it, or avoiding it. It's not that I just haven't been looking long enough. I know very well what magic is, so I can't be mistaking it for something else. So...maybe I'm cursed?

It would explain a lot if I was under some sort of curse. I sure can't live without magic, and there doesn't seem to be magic, and that contradiction... well maybe it's that I'm being blinded, or held off from it somehow? How would I tell if there was some influence preventing me from perceiving or running into magic?

I don't seem able to believe in anything, so maybe that has something to do with it?

You could be cursed :-P but not likely.

Forcing it can be hard and difficult. I don’t know really what to suggest. I realize now how bizarre my childhood was, my friends and such growing up.

Movies like “What the bleep do we know” might trigger something. Brain Washing like “The Landmark Forum” might help. Going and doing Yoga at a gym or studio might help. All those things will help in other ways no matter what.

However the “magickal” point of view, is just a slight bit different then the mundane one. It is that our existence is more then just random collisions of energy.

If you can, take a long course (5 weeks+) in tarot or some other divination, do what is asked of you. Keep a Journal of your progress or lack there of.

Lately I have been wondering how is it that I know a female is attracted to me? It is something I usually pick up on quickly but because of fear of rejection (I think, though it does not fit with the rest of my life) I avoid till it is obvious.

I am now trying to figure out if it is body language that I notice, the looks, postures, voice modulations… or if it is the feeling I get.

In doing this I am of course not trying to look at people directly (my normal way of being) so it is hard to nail down.

Another idea, if you have the cash to spend…get a physic reading, be honest and upfront. Then after 2 months, get another different one, repeat after about 2 months again.

Then read everything you wrote about what they said…was it more coincidence or more on par. Did situations they claimed would be good come up and you did not take advantage of at the time, where the readers full of it?

Last I recommend picking up a decent how to in any tradition you like, and following it exercise per exercise.

In order of cost for what I recommended.

By money.
Rent “what the bleep”
Buy a book
Take yoga at gym or community college.
Do the three tarot readings
Take a long tarot class
Do the Landmark forum.

By time
watch “what the bleep do we know”
Do the three tarot readings
Do the Landmark forum.
Take a long tarot class
Take yoga at gym or community college.
Read a how to book

By use in other aspects of your life.
Yoga
Landmark
Book
What the bleep
Tarot class
Tarot reading

Lastly I recommend Big Mind, you can get it in a DVD set or other less legal fashions, three hours and you will be in a different and powerful mindset then you have ever been in your life. If you watch it and follow the instructions (very easy) with little or no distractions. Other then watching with full focus all you have to do is change the way you are sitting about 10 times, you change the way you are sitting to any way you wish. You also question yourself from different perspectives…that is all.

This can be the most profound of my suggestions…but getting the video is in that grey area of things to do. I don’t know the cost for it by itself but the one I have came in an expensive bundle, and they don’t sell that one on its own, but I have seen a new one that they do. I have noticed the one I have in p2p networks.