Maybe It's A Curse?, Curse of the Mundanoeity Options

My life is...decidedly mundane. I have never seen anything magical, never felt any presence of any ghost, spirit or god, never found anything that couldn't be explained and understood. My delusions may be that there is magic, but no matter how I search, or how I look within myself, nothing emerges. I need to find magic in order to have hope again, but can't find it at all. Any spells, invocations, or summonings of will I try myself all seem to run up against a wall, and nothing ever happens. Any person I've met who claimed access to some form of magic turned out to be a charlatan, or a swindler.

This isn't some run-of-the-mill dry period. I've existed for nearly three decades without a single whisper of magic coming my way. It's not that I'm closed to it, or avoiding it. It's not that I just haven't been looking long enough. I know very well what magic is, so I can't be mistaking it for something else. So...maybe I'm cursed?

It would explain a lot if I was under some sort of curse. I sure can't live without magic, and there doesn't seem to be magic, and that contradiction... well maybe it's that I'm being blinded, or held off from it somehow? How would I tell if there was some influence preventing me from perceiving or running into magic?

I don't seem able to believe in anything, so maybe that has something to do with it?

Life is a contradiction. It is pointless and empty. There is no point to it, there is nothing to get done. It is also everything.

The only thing we control in life is our reaction to things.

You may rather blame outside factors on things. But events are events. I get attacked, or assaulted, I suffer an illness….those are all events. I am not saying they are my fault.

It might be my fault, it might not. In reality it does not matter. My reaction is all that matters. My take on it is all that matters. It is the only thing I control. What I think and what I do about things.

As far as work life goes. It is funny that you mention being late as that is why I was fired.

80% of my jobs have been 3 years +. I have been late very often (about two times a week on average). I make up for it in work ethic, talent, and understanding my job.

For certain bosses tardiness is intolerable, for most it is bothersome…but I stayed on, I got promoted and so on.

Your employers interest should never be the well being of it’s workforce. It should be it’s product. Care for the workforce should be of interest only in this betterment of the product.

I want to make it clear. One should not blame the victim of anything, but you can wallow in it, or you can move on.

Alzheimer's or any trauma to the brain is terrible. My only connection is the people I know who are going through it. Not Alzheimer’s but brain damage. I know people who’s life became hell, I know people who’s life became more difficult but they are still who they are and enjoy life. The people I know with Alzheimer’s I did not know before they had it in advanced stages, so I don’t have a point of comparison.

Stroke victims I know well, other then that they are disabled, and deal with that as they deal with it, they are pretty much the same. One wasted away because of feeling useless, the others learned to live their new life. One I know that thinks it was probably the best thing that happened to her, changed her outlook on life.

By the way, the my needing to be cynical so things don’t get to me was all about me, if it has some charge for you, examine it. If it has nothing for you, then why did it come up and not the “Nobody loves me, I am not worthy, I need to be smarter, I need to be faster, I need to be funny” .

Raw and unfiltered…LOL. I would venture that if you examine that you would know that even that is untrue. I know I used to think of myself that way, but I filtered everything. Anything that I say has a context that I add to it. Specially when dealing with people. I used to love to use the “truth” to mess with people. I was much more honest then most people I knew, but not by much.

There is a difference between being truthfull and allowing the your thoughts to spew out of your mouth. Do we tell our loved ones that we are frustrated because of our strong caring feelings for them and that we love them, while we are having an argument? That is truthful. But we don’t do it. it does not serve our purpose to persuade.

Ultimately, you are just trying to be right. Congratulations, you are right. You are cursed, your life will not amount to anything because someone or something was annoyed by you or your ancestors enough to put enough energy into a curse that it would determine the rest of your life.

You are right!!!!

You are right!!!

I am wrong, and everything I have said before and will say in the future is likely wrong, unless you deem it to be right.


You may think I am being sarcastic, or sardonic, but I am not. In this, I am totally serious. This is the human outlook. Everything said or shown is processed by us, and we deem it’s validity based on our choice filters of perception. Some days we are more accepting other days less.

However, you are always right, in how you think. What is more, you will create self fulfilling prophesy for yourself in the oddest ways. So in many cases it is more important to be right, then anything else. I can not challenge that, I can not say or recommend anything that will overcome that unless you are willing to overcome it yourself.

It is clear to me that at this point you are not at a stage where you are willing to accept responsibility for your reality.

I have a hard time not making jokes at your expense. “It’s the man keeping me down”…the MAN does not give a rat’s rear about you.

I do not know of a better place to learn your insignificance then the military. There is power in knowing the pointlessness in life, the value of your life, (about $5 assuming just mineral contents).

All my friends who have been through the military, well the Marines, have an outlook that is very similar. You don’t sit and whine about a situation, you do something about it, or you move on.

Ultimately my only real response to any of this is simple and already mentioned.

How is the way you think working for you?