My Subconscious Isn't Working With Me Here! Options

A quick history: I'm quite new to chaos magic but practised another type of my very own eclectic voudou-influenced sishsash for years before I lost faith in magic alltogether and lived as an atheist for a couple of years. Now I'm trying to work out my way back into being a practising magician, since I lately had a revelation of sorts. Here goes: the reason I decided that magic simply doesn't work for me was after I spent a lot of time trying to solve a problem I had. I don't want to specify this problem but it had to do with something that was very important to me. Since I thirsted for results here a lot more than I had in any of the smaller (and succesfull) workings that I had done earlier failure was enough of a disappointment that I just stopped alltogether. So, why am I starting again? Simple: I had a dream about this problem, and when recalling it later I realised that all the other dreams I have had on it all show things the way they are, not like they were or should be. My mind wants this to be the situation, so I subconsciously shot myself in the foot when trying to magically change it. I even know why.

Could anyone suggest a method of working around this or something? I've tried meditating on the issue but haven't been very successfull.

I really can’t add anything new to this, SeekerVI said it well.

I have found that going through the basics, is often profound specially after years of separation. One of two things happen, it feels empty or it touches the soul.

I am not at all familiar with sishsash, I do not know the rituals I do not know your belief structure, so I can not recommend anything that might be the same thing but different enough to allow you to contrast and rekindle the connection.

I am not one to shoot for positive thinking, however the subconscious is a fun thing to try and come to terms with.

Perhaps the trick is accepting the situation first, then moving on with your life. Don’t be trapped in something that happened two plus years ago. Dig into what really happened, at worst you failed to get the outcome you wanted. You then changed your entire belief system, you are now coming back, timidly thinking you may have messed things up.

There is a lot in moving on with things, but to reconnect, reconnect. Find the things that gave you power, remember the feelings, and start relearning and learning new things. Practice practice practice…more so, live it with eveything you have.