I'm not sure if I'm posting this in the right place, but anyway, the problem I have concerns two ex-friends of mine. I've known them for 8 years, we were best friends, but the last two years were completely unsatisfying for me. One of them always seemed unhappy with me around and she simply sucked (IMG:style_emoticons/default/evil.gif) all the energy in me. After one hour with her I was depressed (IMG:style_emoticons/default/fie.gif) and she started to shine and be happy (IMG:style_emoticons/default/harhar1.gif) . The sadder I became, the happier she was. I never felt true friendship feelings from her and I found myself disliking her a lot, but forced to maintain the relationship because of my other friend, who was convinced that the three of us were the best friends in the world. Anyway, they did some things to me that bothered the hell out of me, I explained them what was the problem...so what? They ignored and ignored...
Finally, I decided I don't want to be their friend anymore, because they just made me feeling bad, I wrote my decision in a 'friendship grimoire' we shared and they agreed. Now, one of them continues calling me, e-mailing me and tries to convince me that I am crazy and stubborn and unhappy. I am not. I really think that the decision I took was for my own personal happiness ( I even asked the tarot and I got the answer that I am going on my way now, becoming who I'm supposed to be, eliberating me from a painfull past, and so on)
I don't hate them. I just don't them around me anymore. Their opinions about me and my choices and my behaviour and my boyfriend and , yeah, even about my breasts or my intelligence were simply mean. Always making me feel stupid and even telling me that I am stupid. I don't want them anymore, not now, not after five years from now. The problem is that one of them is kind of haunting me, an
e-mail from her makes me cry, not because I miss her, but because I want her completely out of my life. I told her that, but like always, she thinks I'm in a phase. I am 22 years old, I'm not reaching puberty or any other kind of adolescent crisis, and I know that I am capable of living my own life and taking my own decisions.
The feelings I still have when talking about them (deep sadness , which I cannot explain otherwise; it covers me and as soon as I take them out of my mind I'm smiling again), the sensation of someone just trying to mess with my mind and making me think what they want me to think...I am not sure, but from what I read, it can be named psychic attack.
Well, I want to end this. But how? What I've tried until now (ignoring them, refusing to talk about them) didn't work. I am still ready to cry for hours without any other reason but that of another mail from one of them in which she continued to tell me that I am wrong and she is wright, and that we'll be together again. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/please.gif)