The Occult~, The ultimate art. My thoughts~~ Options

*Inhales~exhales~inhales~exhales~*
I'm feeling this strange calmness descending over me~~
I have always (and still do) clearly know my career goal in life, but suddenly....I feel my life may have a more divine purpose if I so wish to pursue.
Today, I completed a whole lot of detailed and reliable Occult reading..... and I feel like I have "awakened"...to some extent.
I feel that nothing else matters around me anymore...the ppl who hurt me, the things that upset me.... all those unpleasant feelings.... They don't seem to matter~.
I feels as though I will never be intimidated again....that kind of calmness~~~

Higher spheres~~ higher beings~~ Tree of Life and its Sephiroths~~ spiritual realms~~ Akashic Hall of Records~~
So far removed from reality....yet..... strange as it may seem~~~ I wish to pursue Occult~~~ I really want to devote my later years to this art~! This Divine and Ultimate Art~!

I've read about divination, scrying, astral projection and other kinds of Occult.... but I have the most interest in the field of Evocation(and consequently Invocation).
I am currently in my initial stages of Evocation; just starting off the 'training exercises'. I wish to pursue the entities in each of the Ten Sephiroths within the Tree of Life (or the Kabbalistic Map of Creation). The entities and the tasks they pledge to perform has ignited my respect for the art of Occult.
I will carefully but steadily pursue these beings and with time and dedication, I am sure to obtain results.
My ultimate goal is to obtain a higher existence as i cross-over from this world(the mortal) to the next(the spiritual and the dead)~~although i still wonder about this~(whether I can accomplish this).
For now...I will focus on entering the astral plane and to learn from these knowledgeable higher beings within their energy spheres.

However, there are some things I'm pondering about at the moment after gaining knowledge from the trustworthy book I'm studying from:
#When a magician stands in the centre of a magic circle and invokes the Deity, they become God(magically speaking) and with this power of God, spirits are evoked.
-->Wonders if this is true~~ Somehow, it sounds too divine and almighty~~ Or is this acquired power of God only a very small fraction of all the powers God possesses? So a magician only obtains a very superficial level of the Godly powers?
#ALL creations were the work of God (all forms of entities and mortal existence and everything in between).
-->If this is true....then..... what created God himself? He is indeed the Infinite and Divine Providence~~ but what were HIS origins? Or is this an eternal mystery to mankind?

Please share your thoughts with me~~~ I would greatly appreciate all feedback, and respect all your opinions.

Esoterigma

This post has been edited by Esoterigma: May 25 2008, 05:58 AM

I sincerely express my thanks to you both for putting the effort to answer my question. Thank you so so much~~

Especially to VagrantD for your detailed response and reflections~ I had a strong urge to rep you, but that isn't enabled for me yet. However, rep points do not matter, it's the essence of my gratitude towards you that counts, right? *beams~*

I knew deep down that these questions were hard ones to answer, but nevertheless, I ventured to propose them....and I do not regret it. Even though the 'true' answers were not obtained(and I doubt anyone alive will have the answers....), I still gained a lot of insight into the thoughts of you both and I will do some more research and contemplating myself~. After all, the answers will come to me one day.... be it in this world... or the next~~

I shall keep working hard in my career dream AND keep up in Occult~~~
I will live up to it all~~~ and endlessly reach higher places.

See you around,
Esoterigma