You might still be stressed out or simply have too much astral gunk lying around to be able to see the white light clearly. Try banishing your living space, doing a good magical/astral cleansing, and filling the place with positive energy. Yeah, it sounds really new agey and fluffy, but it works.
People forget that they need to keep their astral space clean like they keep their physical space clean. The two go together and one affects the other, sometimes dramatically.
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As the water grinds the stone, We rise and fall As our ashes turn to dust, We shine like stars... --Covenant, "Bullet"
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