Influencing External Vs Internal Change Options

Over the years I seem to have gotten fairly good at using magick to bring about favourable circumstances in my life. Jobs, money, partners, etc. Nothing spectacular, my results could be written off as coincidences but once you get a certain amount of "coincidences" you start to realise that perhaps they aren't really coincidences... But, as a sufferer of mild anxiety and depression, I have often tried to use magick to influence my internal climate, with very little success.

Lately I have been using my daily practice of the LBRP to influence my life. When invoking the archangels, I will talk to them and ask them to grant me small favours... The results have been quite impressive when it comes to external events (one example of many is that I had problems with my feelings for a workmate. It was problematic because I had a boyfriend, and the situation had been bad for quite some time. I asked the archangels for help, and the very same day, he got fired! Which isn't as bad as it sounds for him as he was getting quite tired of wokring there anyway, and from conversations I had with him afterwards it seemed that him getting fired - or rather, being asked to resign, but with good references - had worked out in his favour. This is just one example fo the "coincidences" I've had). Yet I have hardly had any success at all in alleviating my anxiety, depression, or my moderate substance abuse through the use of the LBRP or any magick at all!

Any similar experiences? Advice, theories, etc?

Yet I have hardly had any success at all in alleviating my anxiety, depression, or my moderate substance abuse through the use of the LBRP or any magick at all!

Well bells and whistles just went off inside my head when I read that last part. Either you are an addict or you are not. So take this with a grain of salt and believe me I won't be hurt if you thumb your nose at me. Only you can really say for certain how "moderate" your substance abuse. Addictions councilors have a word for that - minamizing. Basically when an addict saying things like "Oh I only need to have a few drinks" or "oh my drinking is not a problem" or "I only get a little high I don't get too messed up" they are minimizing the true scope of their addiction and using it as an excuse to lessen their situation and make it seem more managable. Ultimately its not us you're foolin, just yourself. And

Of course there are a meriad of other wonderful buzz words that describe the pathology of true addicts. And no ill judgement on my part. In life we all go down the road in our own vehicles. If how live gets you where you want to be then you have it made. You mentioned substance abuse amung the list of things that you seem to not be able to overcome or alter through magickal means. Therefore it stands to reason it is not a desirable aspect of your life. Understand it is very unlikely that you will be able to simply "reduce" the amount or somehow meek out a life where you do both - get high and live up to your standards. It is also very likely that the abuse ties into the other negative things in your life.

Really there is no magick bullet that will fix everything and make life perfect. Even if you didn't abuse (name your poison), you're still going to have ups and downs. Depression and axiety are a part of life. You might not realize it this because we tend to view these things as "deseases" when in reality they are not, just reactions of our bodies and minds towards stress in life. And stress will always be there. If you think your usage is keeping you back in life then that is where I would start to make the change. Remember the truely wise magician does not seek to change the world through "magick" but awareness. The more aware one is of themselves and their environment, the more control they can exert over it. By taking command of your life and yourself and getting into something like a 12 step program and/or NA/AA you can start to truely with this and overcome something that I believe is contributing to a lot of other negative things in your life. And in a year or so when you can look back and see how different you feel, how much better you feel and you'll look back and say - wow now that was magickal!

Of course maybe you do not want to stop your life style. Maybe you are not technically an "addict". Only you can tell yourself what to do. So look into yourself to find that inner awareness and figure out what you want to try to do to make a change for the better.

And thats about all I have for you. I hope it helps.

This post has been edited by Acid09: Sep 9 2008, 08:40 PM