Commiting To Endeavor On, ascension Options

while living the days as they go on and on I consider my life and where its heading. I reflect on my thinking and my actions which are interwoven with my overall attitute towards life and question my own beliefs and ideals continuously. This is something i'm used to, something which has helped me grow but at the same time has inhibited me due to lack of trust in any given situation. When I speak of trust I speak for myself mainly, my outlook and such. Now, at this moment in time i'm still grappling with what I believe to be real and true, what I believe to be sane and insane, what path I should tread and for how long. There is a point in life where this all comes naturally and just helps you to shift your space/time position but for me it's as though I have no place in this world. Alas, I continue on in my endeavor to see it through till my end and fight for some sense of selfworth and purpose. One idea i've been juggling with is to release myself from the bonds of desire and live only for what I need, the other idea is to live for what I want, and do what I have to to get what I want, example, I see this really nice jacket in a shop window and I really want it, I will have to go and earn money to buy it. If I had no desire for it I wouldn't need to go and earn money for it. What about a measly can of cola, or the latest mobile phone? all these essentially desires. And this is my point, what lengths am I willing to go to to achieve or recieve whatever it is I desire. I know for sure I would go far if it was for something I NEEDED. I guess I just have commitment issues but just saying it does nothing for me, it's deeper than commiting to something. It's finding something worthy enough to commit to. This is different for everyone, we all want something different, even though sometimes we all want the same thing. I don't want a car is one example, i'm sure someone out there does want a car!
What i'm afraid of the most I guess is never finding anything I want in life, and then missing out. I can't excactly force myself to like something I just don't like.
This is so far what I can fathom and its allowing me to try and open myself to new possibilities that may bring some joy and light into my life, one where I am in the driving seat, unphased by what is before me. Now I am building myself up anew like a phoenix rising from its ashes becoming essentially the oppisite of what I don't want to become. I'm really thinking about making some major steps in my life within these next few months, where I end up right now is a mystery but what I do know is its down to me. Someone could force my body into heaven but my mind could be in hell. I am my mind, my mind is me.
(IMG:style_emoticons/default/wizard.gif)

ah, from the foothills, the real mountains look impossibly huge, don't they!

from they plains they are just purple shadows, some capped with glowing white stuff

you have come to realize that realization is everything, and realization is everything

things fall away and you become unencumbered, and the encumbrances suddenly abound!

yet you were the one who volunteered to come here, and right now

discovering the mission is everything, and furthering it is the next step

its why we bother, and why we're still coming back here, time and again, to this miserable jail-house

trying to wake up and reform the dumbass inmates who are pissing and shitting in their own nest

and two stupid to clean up after themselves or stop fighting over non-existent turf

then you got these mf 'evil bastards', who come in just like we did, but with the opposite mission from ours

i call them 'evil bastards' cause their good is opposite to ours - their good is our evil

read up on the brothers, find your fight, and your center, then get with the program

it helps to have a worldly diversion beyond the 3rd chakra (what eat, where sleep, who sex) this world is infamous for

elites try to keep everybody trapped here in the 3rd chakra and you need a reminder so you break their spell

i have my video games where i can escape to, if the idiots get to me too much and i start to feel comfortable

try not to eat too much here, as it binds you - keep physicality to a minimum while constantly pushing your extraordinary abilities

memories are everything - experience as much as possible - share and share alike is the only real rule, and desire

push as much as you can of the fun times into memory, and share them with the other stars

the void is a loney place without time for encounters, but there are many others who's place is in the void

and you already know all people, since there are fewer stars than incarnated, so have a look around

the real you is looking out of your eyes - your body is a temple dedicated to this existence

but still you are no less human than anyone else, you just choose to remember - that is the first fight

remoting is a wonderful tool for having fun, btw, and society dismisses it lol - all are connected by the same thread

for myself, i can easily say that i have done everything, well, mostly everything - i am at peace and continuing my mission

still singing the same old song:

use hyp-gnosis to discover your lives, loves, alignments, and mission (or missions)

rekindle alignments, and get on with the mission, whatever it is - realize all extraordinary skills

remember that you are, and yet not, human, and break the 3rd chakra trap

make a ww3 box to keep yourself comfortable so the mission can continue and to help others of you

always remember that there are others of you, and look at them for recognition

there are no fireworks, only the wind - f'ing listen when you are being spoken to


that should do it, or confuse you utterly

realize that i must obfuscate

es