Influencing External Vs Internal Change Options

Over the years I seem to have gotten fairly good at using magick to bring about favourable circumstances in my life. Jobs, money, partners, etc. Nothing spectacular, my results could be written off as coincidences but once you get a certain amount of "coincidences" you start to realise that perhaps they aren't really coincidences... But, as a sufferer of mild anxiety and depression, I have often tried to use magick to influence my internal climate, with very little success.

Lately I have been using my daily practice of the LBRP to influence my life. When invoking the archangels, I will talk to them and ask them to grant me small favours... The results have been quite impressive when it comes to external events (one example of many is that I had problems with my feelings for a workmate. It was problematic because I had a boyfriend, and the situation had been bad for quite some time. I asked the archangels for help, and the very same day, he got fired! Which isn't as bad as it sounds for him as he was getting quite tired of wokring there anyway, and from conversations I had with him afterwards it seemed that him getting fired - or rather, being asked to resign, but with good references - had worked out in his favour. This is just one example fo the "coincidences" I've had). Yet I have hardly had any success at all in alleviating my anxiety, depression, or my moderate substance abuse through the use of the LBRP or any magick at all!

Any similar experiences? Advice, theories, etc?

Those are fair points, and yes, it could be said that I am performing magick in a backward way. I must stress that my number one goal in the use of magick, ever since I first became interested at age 15, has been spiritual development. Now how much further on that path magick has taken me, I can't say. I perform the LBRP twice daily the majority of the time, and my original hopes were for it to balance me, but instead it seems to have the effect of balancing my life, that is, externally rather than internally. My life runs smoother, there are less stressful circumstances, but I have not noticed any internal changes that were separate from the changes brought on by having less stressful circumstances. Perhaps the external effects are more immediate and the internal ones take a longer time. That's the only explanation I can think of.

I am focusing on clearing the clutter in my mind, and that has been my number one priority in life for the past seven months or so. There has been progress, but I wish I could use magick to help me speed up that progress. I don't think that there's anything wrong with me using magick to influence my external surroundings in the meantime though - doing a ritual and realising that it worked helps me keep my faith in there being something greater than the mundane world, even if it is something so simple as making it easier for me to find a job that I like. And anyway, why shouldn't one practice? There is overdoing it to the extreme, but that's not what I'm doing.

I have one idea that I'm considering though - create a spell, perhaps a servitor that will point me towards situations and things (eg CBT, but that one I thought of myself) that will help me develop mentally/emotionally/spiritually, because that would be using magick to influence external events, but would lead to internal change.