Influencing External Vs Internal Change Options

Over the years I seem to have gotten fairly good at using magick to bring about favourable circumstances in my life. Jobs, money, partners, etc. Nothing spectacular, my results could be written off as coincidences but once you get a certain amount of "coincidences" you start to realise that perhaps they aren't really coincidences... But, as a sufferer of mild anxiety and depression, I have often tried to use magick to influence my internal climate, with very little success.

Lately I have been using my daily practice of the LBRP to influence my life. When invoking the archangels, I will talk to them and ask them to grant me small favours... The results have been quite impressive when it comes to external events (one example of many is that I had problems with my feelings for a workmate. It was problematic because I had a boyfriend, and the situation had been bad for quite some time. I asked the archangels for help, and the very same day, he got fired! Which isn't as bad as it sounds for him as he was getting quite tired of wokring there anyway, and from conversations I had with him afterwards it seemed that him getting fired - or rather, being asked to resign, but with good references - had worked out in his favour. This is just one example fo the "coincidences" I've had). Yet I have hardly had any success at all in alleviating my anxiety, depression, or my moderate substance abuse through the use of the LBRP or any magick at all!

Any similar experiences? Advice, theories, etc?

I may be redundant here as I just skimmed the posts. I think the substance abuse has been covered. The point I would like to make is about the "coincidences" THERE IS NO SUCH THING. This theory was presented to us at the center I spent 15 yrs with, and methods to track and follow the circumstances that led to the "coincidence". That out of the way it took 20 yrs for me to realize that there is more to the "coincidences", then our own actions this (may not be accurate actually, I just don't know how to explain it). Having had that as part of my training made a big difference while watching the Celestine Prophecy (the Movie didn't read the books).

I began to follow the "coincidences" to see where they lead. As I did they lead me to bigger and bigger decisions, they were also harder, and defied some rational thinking, as seen form the usual common stand point, anyway. Some were very much the Fool of the Tarot. Scary at times. Still is if I go back to the old thinking.

Where did it all lead?

It lead me to teach in Holland, I have had the experience of a life time doing that. And it cost me nothing in fact I do well there. I toured 5 or 6 countries so far. I want to expand to Germany for some reason... However there are no "coincidences" leading me to do that. Made more difficult as many of the Dutch still have a problem when it comes to Germany. Understandable but time to let go in my opinion, but I understand. They lead me to retire very scary. No Medical and no income. My retirement check went into Metals as I could not take it with out loosing 50% of it. Result I have not lost a dime and if the bottom falls out I still have something with worth. When I need it a check comes out of the blue, I am waiting for one now the state has for me. If you are into Material things then this is not for you although all that is needed seems to be provided. It is not for the nervous to run you life on "coincidences"

It has been totally magickal however. Totally amazing. I now look at everything a why me and why now. The more I follow the more I understand what it is I am here to do.

We create these "coincidences" all the time through unconscious wish. They are more interesting if you sit down and create them. I experimented with that in the center. Hess tought a wish exercise. Those that did it soon learned not to. You learn that Be careful what you wish for, is not just some idle warning. Once you follow the "coincidences" the power of wish either gets stronger, you just notice it more, or both. You defiantly notice them more. I think it allows the higher self for have a more direct influence. Something you may or may not want, at my age and situation (caused by allowing this) it doesn't matter. I don't need fancy clothes or cars or anything none of that matters anyway.

Once you start down that road I think there is no going back. I don't think one would want to go back to the old way of distractions anyway. The real magick begins I think when one realizes that there is no Magick. You do get to feel that you are in a bubble and what is going on around you is not real... it kind of makes ya immune to all the stuff going on. Kind of nice considering we are in deep doo doo which is getting deeper all the time.

Follow the "coincidences" it will be amazing. Many times like you friend that got fired. Sounds like a product of a combined wish at least on your part and his. As many times following coincidences is, and as the usual if you keep going where it leads it winds up Ok or better, most of the time amazing results come about. As I said it is not for the faint at heart. It is a better alternative then just letting it happen unconsciously. Unconsciously you have no control, consciously you have control of sorts. What you get is where you should be at any given time. The right person in the right place at the right time. Not always a party, but that is life and a hell of a lot more interesting.

Krell