Is It For Me? Options

Personally, i cannot purchase any occult materials.

i am a minor, and living with my family, i know they would disapprove.

books are different. i can read all the books i want, but they are almost always ceremonial.

Ceremonial seems to be the most widely practiced path, and easiest to get into, but i cannot purchase the equipment.

So it raises the question, is ceremonial magick for me?

Greetings!
I'm confused.

I started meditating a long time ago and regularly engage in chakra meditations/ elemental meditations/ middle pillar, etc

I have been studying and practicing for a while, and would like to at least take my first step into a true path.

OK. If you've been studying and practicing for a while...what's stopping you from choosing a path? First off...there are no 'true' paths. A path is something you follow or don't. Truth is relative to the person and their universe.

the majority of the sources i have are on Ceremonial, but have no access to the equipment or anything.
so is this path a good one for me?

It could be but in your case that will require time and growth. You will not always be in a state of depravation. What is the source of your immediacy in this area? Ceremonial magic can cover some rather broad subjects. Some ceremonial magic doesn't require many tools. I'm of the school that believes in making them. Doing that should occupy your next couple of years. Yes, I'm serious.

WELL okay, maybe it's not, but there aren't very many paths.

Oh my....yes, there are! Just look at the Forum(s) and they'll adequately illustrate that yes, there are MANY paths!

from what i can tell, all magick can be divided into ceremonial and chaos, but i haven't found much info on chaos past sigils/servitors

You are operating under some erroneous assumptions. Ceremonial Magic can include chaos within its boundaries and vice versa. *sigh* Occult scholars will and can argue this point ad nauseum. As far as chaos revolving around servitors and/or sigils you should try thinking outside the box. Again, this suggests that you spend more time honing those basic skills I alluded to in my earlier post. You may find that your interests gravitating to quantum mechanics and zen. You are young (I envy that) and you need to explore your options. Try doing some Tree of Life pathworking...or, betterstill, work on creating your astral working space/temple. Read some authors about astral projection, or Shamanism. Learn about sacred geometry and why the Egyptians built their Temples following some very specific guidelines that also correlate to the now invogue Feng Shui!
This response is to try to help you understand your options and is not a put down. Life is exciting! You haven't even come close to seeing all it has to offer! Good journey! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blablabla.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/connie_mini_oldman.gif)

I agree with Bym in suggesting that it is better to make your own tools. You may not have the materials now, but the effort that will go into acquiring them, especially at your age, is well worth it in the long run. I believe you'll be old enough to work next year, if you live in the states, correct? Unless you are already doing some yard work, etc., now? In either case, you are able, with some honest effort, to acquire the means to begin collecting materials now. You can either work on them in secret and hope for the best, and be clever, to keep your parents from interfering - or you can simply what to make them until you are more independent. The fact of the matter is, most of the grimoires you'll ever read state clearly from the beginning that a magician should be his own man before practicing magic.

This is for many reasons. THe most practical of which involves money - until you are raised, educated, and gainfully employed or otherwise acquiring assets, you are unable to work in peace, acquire the materials that must be bought - which can mean seeds, saplings, etc., for harvesting later on, metals and such like aside. There is, however, a spiritual/magical/energetic aspect of being your own person as well, and that is that you are in control of your energy more completely in the world. Currently your parents direct much of your energy for you, and that is energy that they will not give up to you until you move out onto your own, basically - and perhaps not even then if they are those kind of parents.

Just because you are unable to practice ceremonial magic in its entirety now does not mean that you can't prepare yourself to practice it later, or that CM path is not for you. You can practice the middle pillar, the hexagram and pentagram rituals, and they in themselves have enough potential to give you endless experience from which to grow and be inspired. It takes years of constant practice, attention, journaling, reflection, and study to master these seemingly simple rituals fully. Do not discount the basics because they aren't as fun or flashy as you believe the more advanced material to be.

You can consider a shamanistic path as well, the first several steps of which necessitate no tools - and, in a sense, this path never does, although they can be of benefit, and of course, traditions vary - but rather an observation and learning from nature, the development of the animist point of view, and the application of that point of view in evaluating the phenomenon of the world around you. IN short, watching, listening for, and observing Spirit in action in nature. And, for that matter, in people.

There are simple meditation and energy work exercises you can find in abundance here, other parts of the web, and in your local bookstore and possibly library. There is, of course, as well, much much much study and learning to be done regardless of which path you take, and there is absolutely no harm in spending all of the years until you are 'free' as your own man to build that knowledge base, theorize, flex your mental muscles, and of course develop the critical research, reasoning, memorization, and observational skills that will ultimately make or break your magical 'career' later in life. You have the chance to start correctly due to your age and interest coinciding at this early point, as well as this forum where we are willing to talk with you, help point you in the right direction, and if you wish, help you evaluate each step as you go - but you must do the stepping and if you do want advice here, then here it is - You have plenty of time, there is no hurry - do the work that needs to be done now, and in a few years you'll greatly appreciate that you did it in its proper time.

With the right beginning, you could be a great magician some day. You will not be a great magician tomorrow, or in a few months, or in a year no matter what you start doing right now. You could be deluded and terribly mistaken, but a great and powerful wizard you will not be. If you are patient, however, and if you study now, built that knowledge base, learn to observe the world magically, and learn to master your mind at this point, then one day you most certainly will be a great magician, if you choose to follow that path through.

Believe me, I felt the exact same way when I was your age. While I feel I developed well with access to no tools, only my mind, my books, and my energy, I wish that someone had said to me what I have said to you. There is no telling how much more I would have grasped and accomplished by now if they had.

peace