Is It For Me? Options

Personally, i cannot purchase any occult materials.

i am a minor, and living with my family, i know they would disapprove.

books are different. i can read all the books i want, but they are almost always ceremonial.

Ceremonial seems to be the most widely practiced path, and easiest to get into, but i cannot purchase the equipment.

So it raises the question, is ceremonial magick for me?

i know this is kinda fast for this to happen, but my magick routine already gotten a bit reduntant.

every day, i do the lbrp (Dont have any idea why or what the point is, appearantly to banish negative energies, but i only really do it cause middle pillar seems incomplete without it.)

I Do the middle pillar (At first it was kinda what you'd expect, but recently i'v been seeing flashes of incomprehensible images during the final phases)

then i may read some occult books.

sleep.

the 2 rituals take only a couple of minutes each, but if i don't have enough time, I just do a chakra meditation while falling asleep.

i feel like i am ready for more, but my brain is telling me to grow a stronger connection to my energies first.

ITS DRIVING ME CRAZZZY!

A few thoughts on this. First of all, if you don't know what LBRP is for, then you should be writing it down, looking at the symbolism there, deciphering what it is for. There are books that discuss what it's about, but not many of them go into the depth of detail that you need to reach before that ritual is of real use to you. Do you have the same vagueness regarding the MP ritual?

Secondly, these rituals one after the other should take more than a few minutes. The LBRP can be a half hour moving meditation if you slow it down and really focus on every single movement, every word, on the vibrations in your head and chest when you intone the Names. You should be building up a sense of resistance when you carve the circle and the pentagrams, as though you were physically carving those shapes into some substance around you.

The MP ritual can last as long as you allow it to, you can chant each divine name until it's the only thought in your mind, and really you should until you achieve the proper focus to place your entire being into each of those names just by taking a slow breath in and vibrating the name.

The longer you take to do these rituals, the slower you take them in order to maintain the vibration, movements, keep the mind focused and pay attention to the experience all at once, the more powerful they will become for you.

Your magic routine sounds like it's becoming redundant in this regard simply because you aren't investing enough interest in the rituals. That's not meant to be a slight against you, just some advice regarding how to properly develop and use the rituals, as well as general advice for magic. To really unlock the secrets of the material you'll get your hands on, it takes more than rote memorization - you have to read the material again and again, learn it intellectually by heart, invest time into contemplating it in depth, writing it down again and again, deciphering, postulating, and observing it in action. It's redundant, there's no getting around that, but that redundancy will become like a path that is different every time you walk it.

Magic takes passion, the desire to really know, the desire to prove it to yourself, the desire to truly grow. If that passion isn't there, either acquire it, or you may as well give up magic now and save yourself the time.

peace

This post has been edited by Vagrant Dreamer: Nov 18 2008, 10:49 PM