Depression Options

Sigh.

I have been thinking about why i dont like where my life is.

I posted a topic motivation, thinking im too lazy.

i just wanted to avoid the simple truth.

I FAIL.

If soul's were eggs, mine would be a cracked easter egg filled with puss.

I cant keep a connversation.

i have no focus.

i put max effort into everything and maintain a positive attidude, and even add assistance with magic.

the magic fails.

i fail.

If i was a tarrot card i'd be the fool, devoid of any positive or negative qualities.

im just there,

a waste.


no one respects me.

no matter how much i respect myself.

its all in vain.

if you cant walk the walk, then talking the talk is just a load.

I try i try.

ive been training my body relentlessly

my spirit magically.

but im still to slow.

soul just stagnates and dies.

i was rejected by every girl i asked out.

most of them reply as if i was less than human.

I dont get picked last for sports because i dont even get picked.

even when the gym teachers are picking teams they leave me out.

my retarded classmate looks at me as if i was a circus freak.

because i am one.

effort and a positive attitude dont mean anything.

If they did then i would have seen the results ive been working on since i was a child.

but i never will.

thats the way the world works.

i see that now.

? develop a strong character?

What?

Somehow this turned into a conversaiton about women and the point of the lecture went way over my head.

confidence, intelligence, wits, humor, people skills?

NOPE.

I dont have anything to offer

i dont think i have any dreams either.

i think about it alot but nothing comes up.

im not an interesting guy, and i have a boring life with nothing to my name.

ive been trying to find a way to change that but nothing comes up other than getting better at stuff.

what?

Everything.

Because im only good at one thing. Drawing. Im still not that good and poeple tend to think they are weird.

so i need to get better at life..... but i dont really know how.

EDIT: So youre saying i cant get a girl at all right now and i should just give up and try again later?

edit 2 what tony robbins book are you reffering to? I have been looking and i cant find any so maybe a specific title would help.

This post has been edited by davisxmonster: Jan 21 2009, 06:21 PM

edit 2 what tony robbins book are you reffering to? I have been looking and i cant find any so maybe a specific title would help.

Awaken the Giant Within : How to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical and Financial Destiny!